Love & it’s Acceptance

Love is a state of being that beams no matter what your head space is spewing in a moment due to some pain or grief.

When it’s true it just is, without any conditions regulating its state. 

The greatest gift love comes to give is its willingness to collude with our soul. To teach us, that on the sometimes painstaking journey to wholeness. Only through the acceptance of the presence of its beam will we make it unfragmented. That this can be achieved and to truly self actualise, the heart can not be blocked, or it’s truth repressed  because the ego doesn’t know how to make space for it. 

We can leave alone the love that’s there and still erect healthy boundaries. We can leave alone the love that’s there and not abandon ourselves.  

Truly the ultimate test of true love is about shining a light on our potential to let love flow, in spite of all that calls us to deny and resist its existence. It’s about healing the obstacles in the way of this. As the obstacles are also the same ones that block our route to wholeness.

If there is love in your heart and a lot going on in your life that hurts, than there is just love in your heart and a lot going on. This in itself is a truth that when micromanaged or compartmentalised in anyway, with edits of resistance from ego, suffering can ensue. 

Suffering ends when you become real with your truth and the truth here is that a state of love in your heart, is your business because it’s your state of being in a moment.

 I use to think it’s the business of the one it’s felt for too. This thinking was the battlefield my ego won on so many rounds because when I love you and you hurt me, when I love you and im feeling neglected. I suffer the results of the warped perception, that my love is also the responsibility of the external factors it relates to.

My inability to get rid of the love in my heart, (because I saw it as a part of another who through my perception didn’t do right by it) was percieved as defeat. To leave it alone was to me validation of the experience that bought me to the internal conflict in the first place.  My ego wanted me to wrap up my feelings and throw it away and my soul wanted me to embrace it unconditionally. To not fight the current of what is, but rather to flow with it. 

When love beams through you it’s a state of being that engulfs you. You can resist it and suffer or let it be and realise that you don’t have to share what’s within by default that it is within.  

You can can take inventory of all that seeks out what’s in your inner world and let your hearts resonance decide if its worthy of a response.

I’m learning through my soul, that to hold space for the love in my heart, is to not be emotionally unavailable to myself but in its stead to be available unconditionally.

Who would of thought that the door to liberation in this matter, was the very one I closed because I perceived it to be entrapment. 

Trapped in vulnerability 

Trapped in fear 

Trapped by a perception that did not really see me.

Only Allah can take away the illusions that entrap you and put in its place his grace that guides & empowers you.

When love is percieved as your business you become the captain of your ship. Sailing through the storms of life in the direction of what fulfils you. Protecting your essence, your gold because it’s of value & more importantly understanding what it truly means to value what’s yours first and foremost yourself.  

 

 

Love over Fear

Lately I feel like I’ve been in another world going with the flow. A lot of intense energies bringing about a lot of purges. They keep hitting like tsunami waves. Leaving  as quickly as it came…..because ive not been fighting it. As soon as I see something coming up mid field I look within my heart and ask “what do you need?” listening lovingly to the answer it gives. There has been a lot of ‘sit down‘ & “rest for a moment” 

I mean it doesn’t even matter to me that I have to sometimes consciously look for a place to sit. All I care about is my  intent to honour what I need. So I need somewhere private, where in that moment I can just be at home with my emotions that’s fine not complicated anymore. However it wasn’t my norm,  I mostly pretty much use to treat feelings like a virus. All I want to do now is to follow my heart and honour its every need. As cliche as that sounds…..When I sit down I find it healing because whatever I feel passes through like a cool breeze on a hot summer afternoon. 

What this has done is freed up a lot of space within me. Space that resistance use to fill with false promise of safety or illusions of strength. Space that misunderstanding clogged up with restlessness and bulldozing of my own soul.

A lot of what I’ve been learning has centred around my needs it’s unbelievable.

~Awareness of my needs

~Acknowledging my needs

~Expressing my needs 

and the hardest of all…

~Honouring my needs.

There is a lot up in the air awaiting results or conclusions where my affairs are concerned I kid you not. But despite all of that, internally all I feel 80% of the time is harmony.

The current energies maybe intense but it is ushering us into a new world. I feel that strongly because for the first time in my life I’m not afraid of the unknown.  I’m on a plane of faith because only through divine grace…. in being taught what not to do, I’ve recieved the gift of knowing what to do.

Relief is contingent upon honouring your needs. Choosing to act through a base of love over fear. This choice requires that you follow a compass that points to meeting your needs before anything else.  

I use to hear a lot how we are co creators of our reality. I believe that so deeply because in every moment we make a choice through either love or fear.

Choose love, you know it’s a choice through love when it leads you to inner peace. When you act through listening to felt perception over mental noise.

The current energies are intense because this is the very lesson it’s grounding into our being. How varies for each and every one of us. It’s not just about a new beginning it’s an emotional re set. 

Reunion with my heart….till death do us part

When I first learnt that the language of the psyche is fear it altered how I related to and identified with my thoughts. When I learnt that the language of the emotional body is pain.  It redefined how I view and treat my feelings. It gave me understanding and a new sense of patience where before I met it with discomfort and intolerance.

I have to say I was most awestruck by being guided to understand the language of my heart. It’s been a mixture of gratitude and wonder getting to know the language it communicates to me through. I’ve always experienced it, I just didn’t know how to precieve it consciously for what it is and not knowing that meant I was also prone to not listen to it. Not unless it could blast through and silence fear and not unless it could by pass pain so that I don’t feel.

What a daunting task for my heart to over come in order to make itself heard by me. What’s truly merciful and charitable is despite this unconscious, irrational low-key subduing  task presented to it. The language of the heart was decreed in such a way that it could work with and even around someone like me.

Knowing the language of the heart is felt perception has changed my life. The second that lightbulb went on I felt ushered into a new dimension the kind that I want to stay in forever.

Through felt perception the heart manages to whisper in ways that pose competent challenges to the psyches language of fear. It also manages to soothe through ease the emotional bodies language of pain.

This is its humanitarian way of meeting the task I set for it. Through this leniency I see the vastness of love and wisdom placed in the human heart.

Through felt perception the heart communicates things that have power to melt away illusion and to provide a hoverboard of nurturing care that ensures one lands in the midst of pain whole.

It is one thing to understand that the heart has a will of its own and another to experience how that will takes form.

It may sound crazy but I think I heard my hearts voice. Not through sound but through feeling. It felt like an earnest yet assured plea and it felt like It was at a cross road of a make or break concerning me. As if it was experiencing its last chance, clinging firmly to a thinning thread of hope, wanting me to come back to it, wishing  I would.  I felt something get activated in my heart and in that moment I didn’t just feel but it was like I saw. 

I’ve been in a strange daze ever since this happened. Its like a reunion took place and I felt deeply committed. Committed to the heart that I devalued. Happy for a second chance and grateful for its immense unconditional love. 

I understand your language now and listening is as important to me as the air that I breathe. 

I’m surprised a reunion took place because I was never aware I even left.

DROPS OF EASE

Crying for me was a pivot point I didn’t like to reach.  Now it’s a point of rest, where when I arrive I do not flee.

When I cry,  on that Hollywood hill sign I see in my mind, I see the word “healing” 

When I cry I feel replenished, I feel parts of myself that I felt bad for abandoning. I release tension and grief.

That is because tears remove blocks of resistance. Through letting them flow in my private space I receive clarity and ease because when I’m in a state of self acceptance and love like that. I’m aware that I am in a state of surrender and hope. I know Allah who sees my tears counts them and wipes them away.

Looking back my hidden tears kept me alive because his divine mercy was the only refuge I truly allowed my heart to have.

Allowing yourself to cry isn’t a sign of defeat it’s a sign of strength. It’s refusal to be overwhelmed or to be over come. It’s celebration that didn’t happen…I’ve never cried for anything except to make space for a strain on my heart or gratitude I felt in it.

Drop tears when you need to, as it drops ease that heal and comfort you. Never regret a moment when you surrendered to your hearts will to breathe, because that is what crying truly is. Breathing, choosing to be free, breathing, appreciating that you are. Breathing and just being..

 

 

This above all: to thine own self be true.

Every living organism is fulfilled when it follows the right path for its own nature. ~Marcus Aurelius

Today I was teaching a class and mid lesson as I spoke about the importance of adhering to the agreed scope of ones job role. My intuition jumped out at me. I felt this intense but fulfilling serenity descend over me. I honestly don’t give myself enough credit for having the worlds greatest poker face!

I was teaching the students that it was important to adhere to the scope of their job role because it ensures that they meet their responsibilities, their legal obligations. It is important so they don’t commit to work beyond it. Important so that they do not end up overextending themselves, unless from their own volition which is really use of intiative.

I told them adhering to the scope of their job role cultivates deeper understanding of boundaries, theirs and those of others. How in turn that maintains respect in the workplace and replenishes and decorates the quality of their  professionalism. Lastly how it teaches and safeguards the concept of true accountability because they would have a solid reference point to evaluate themselves through and from.

Example your boss gives you feed back that states you are not doing enough. When you adhere to the scope of your job role and you have conscience awareness that you did just that. You are in a good position to discern that your boss is being unfair. That he/she has expectations of you beyond your pay etc

Likewise when you know deep down that you haven’t been adhering to the scope of your job role. That you have been winging it or slacking here there. You are able to embrace your bosses assessment, take the criticism and appreciate that you are being given an opportunity to turn things around.

It was at this point my intuition highlighted how everything I was saying applied to the nurturing of our very own soul.

What if your job role in this world was to self actualise?. What if the scope of this job consisted of you meeting with out hindrance (your own or that of others) the obligations that come with self actualisation i.e standing in unconditional self love and acceptance. What if reaching a state of wholeness was your job role.

I thought about this on the way home especially the accountability part. We live in times where existential crisis is on the rise. People knowingly or unknowingly test the boundaries of others. Triggers galore, shame and guilt shackle most.

An individuals inner authority isn’t something that is tapped into as a default. Doubt or fear or a combination of both, interrupt the flow. People are not present in the now, they either have a foot in the past (grief) or a foot in the future (anxiety) distracting them from harmony that can be harnessed now.

We end up consumed by deadlines and to do lists. Consumed by meeting the needs of loved ones even at the expense of our own needs. Consumed by desires we feel are out of reach. Time to ones own self is seen as idle, time allotted to outside of ones self productive. A lot is on ones plate because they are not adhering to the scope of their job role alone.

They have over extended and over committed themselves. They have censored or abandoned themselves.  In this high paced life where people march like cattle surviving not thriving. Boundaries whether violated or not, isn’t something that can be processed adequately, because to process effectively stillness/awareness is required. When you just do you can’t receive, you are on the run with 21 seconds to go.

So not only are your own boundaries crossed unnoticeably, even if you feel it, but you can not recognise how & when you are infringing on those of others, even if you feel that too. Recognition requires conscious awareness, feelings can’t be deciphered without it so they unfortunately end up a moot point.

Result of this is we end up repelling each other (respect isn’t maintained) and professionalism is what…. if not symbolic in this topic for our humaneness. Our humanness that isn’t replenished, because it isn’t on display, it isn’t benefited from so what’s there to ‘decorate’

When we adhere to the scope of our job (reaching wholeness) we have lines drawn. You know what you have to do. Even if you are lost you know acceptance of that is part of the scope of your job too. To surrender to what is instead of fixating on what could be or what isn’t. Your ‘location’ is recognised on the sat nav directing to your wholeness. Reach your destination organically through divine timing.

I think a lot of the pain we suffer especially in regards to shame or burdens we shoulder. Is because we are not, in such moments aligned with our individual roles. Focus becomes scattered when it’s insisted on making an appearance in dual and polarised situations.

You take on too much, or too little, you over extend or under commit. You can’t hold your self accountable efficiently because you have no base to spring from. You therefore either accept responsibility for what’s not yours or fail to take responsibility for what is.

Not adhering to the scope of your job is the mother of all chaos. Chaos you attract to your life and chaos you bring to others.

Order can not come from disorder so when we feel imbalanced or worn down I think introspection in regards to how we step or stepped outside of ourselves is of utmost importance.

When we do this we are in a good position to pinpoint a problem from a soul space. An intention for correction is thereafter cultivated organically. You find harmony in the midst of chaos because you manage to get yourself back in lane and you also manage to see how others are in your lane. What you see you can approach, what you are blind to you cannot.

I’m only ever truly content when I adhere to the scope of my job because I feel connected with that, I flow through it. When I pause to reflect upon the why’s behind why im content even if others are not, I get to check in and reinforce my values and standards.

Adhering to the scope of your job is simply to do your part, you aid the collective in goodness when you do, it’s the only and best thing you can do because in hindsight you have control over yourself. Struggle is a domino effect when we don’t adhere to the scope of our jobs. It tastes like food with out salt. I personally feel like goldilocks looking for that right porridge. When the only way to make it just right, is if you make it yourself. You can not when you get out of your own lane. You can not when you are not adhering to the scope of your own job, and you may not yet understand, what it is because…

Our goals are not achieved if all our energy given to us to achieve the goal and self-actualization is directed towards being accepted by our surroundings and to meet their requirements ~Sunday Adelaja

Intimacy🔓Into me see

See my innocence when I’m guilty, my love when I’m angry. My fullness when I’m empty. My worth when I feel dejected. 

See my patience for what it is, love and endurance that honours your needs.

Can you see my vulnerability when I’m militant. My tender heart when it’s firm & principled. 

Miss me when im there and love me in my absence.

Can you hear the things I do not say and  understand the things I did share. 

Can you see my hope amidst my doubts & my courage amidst my fears.

Can you grasp the whys that make up my life & can you see your future in my eyes.

Intimacy happens when you connect with all of me. Intimacy is the language of my heart. I’m greater than the sum of my parts, I know…because into me I looked and I saw…that I am whole.

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That someone understands intimacy