Second Draft

When people change, you must not erase what you knew about them before the change that hurt you.

It’s what we knew, that we must grieve. After all it’s what we knew, that we had the relation and connection with. 

There is a seed planted under the rubbles where your heart was crushed. That grows into profound clarities that lay down the foundation for a greater and wholesome home.

There is a crack in the psyche that pain illuminates. So we can experience discernment creeping through when needed most. Discernment, that shows us how to get to and stay in said new home. 

All that happens, when, where, what and how ultimately serves the evolution of your soul.

Will you be patient…is a question I’ve asked myself a lot. The answer is always yes because patience fulfils my soul.

There is a part of me that always cared to master myself. That always cared for the silver lining in the dark clouds that appeared on my path. 

And because of this, this same part of me unwittingly dismissed my feelings to work through things I had no business doing. It held space for things that bothered me.

This part of me that cared to understand even if I wasn’t being understood. Is now grateful to realise, that she can exist, without the self deceptions that made sense of the unconscious self betrayals that were forgetting me.

Only with time can we look back and re write the first draft that made excuses for others and none for ourselves. 

Only with time can we grow strong enough to look back and swallow the cold truth that in deleting ourselves…..we overestimated the intentions and integrity of others……..and just as we are about to attack ourselves for that, we can in its stead attach to self love that writes a second draft.

A second draft with clarity replacing confusion. Truth replacing illusion, understanding replacing judgment, empowerment replacing resentment and fulfilment replacing disappointments.  

Our soul holds the pen, that is ready to write our second draft on everything.

 

The Jump off

“Having full faith is knowing that when Allah takes away the umbilical cord he will replace it with milk” ~ Yasmin mogahed 

Ive been contemplating about faith lately by observing firstly, all of the fear based illusions that attack it. I’ve noticed how when the attacks up the ante there are parts of our psyche along with our heart, that counter attack fear to assist us. I understand why the heart would. What surprised me was the minds help, since the fear based illusion also stemmed from there.

Such is life that good and bad can branch out from the same place. So stand alone statements such as the mind supports or the mind antagonises. Prove only one thing in the end and that is that a momentary experience factualised on mere ground of occurrence. Can not be held as holistic truth. In doing so then at least know that facts can be misleading. The same mind that reasons also pushes out illusions & distortions.

Every one has a struggle with trust, one way or another. There are the general kind of struggles. That have momentum based in natural anticipations of what’s desired. This general kind carries light somatic experiences like nerves as opposed to heavy ones like shame.

The true struggle in trust occurs when you are in the abyss of the unknown. Your fear of loss is activated because there is a deep attachment to outcomes.  These fear based illusions create restrictive resistance to your flow. In fact so strenuously that projecting safety in the unknown in such moments feels like surgery without anesthetic.

This type of struggle can go on for a long time because the true test in the struggle is left unrealised. You experience extreme highs when you experience things in support of your desired outcomes and extreme lows when you don’t.

Allah is meticulous in how he orchestrates the test for you,  so the highs and lows are not exactly things you can place firmly in a box and diagnose cognitively. They stand as juxtaposes that drive you insane. Why? Because both your positive thinking and negative thinking rely on it to make its case.

Your feelings try to point out to you that this isn’t right, so you think it’s to do with matter and abandon ship because the matter low-key becomes the enemy to your peace. Your soul pulls you back in not necessarily in agreement with your conclusion.  So you lean on positive thinking only for the highs and lows to begin again.

Your feelings point out over and over again that this isn’t right and thus as the cycle repeats itself. You end up on a familiar roller coaster stuck in a never ending dynamic of sorts. Misinterpreting your reality because you misread the true guidance your feelings carried all along.

This isn’t right” is and always was in relation to the path you took or are on, not matter in and of itself.  The matter is what you desire, what you desire is rooted and nourished in the heart and co signed by the wholeness carried by your soul. The heart is between the fingers of the divine, meaning out of your control.

So when you find yourself stuck in stalement in a dynamic you know isn’t congruent to your over all wellbeing. When on a roller coaster that eventually makes you hop off feeling some type of way. Look at your feelings and apply its guidance to the path instead of matter.

As Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results

Change course, don’t erase a part of yourself by making “it’s not right” about the matter. Make it about the one thing you are in control of and that is the path you took, the path you’re on. 

Look at all the ways in how that is not right and you will stumble upon discoveries you can not ignore.

Is the path to following your hearts desire a path in alignment with self love i.e are you speaking your truth and standing in your power. Are you unconditionally honouring your needs and accepting your feelings with out by passing or micromanaging them?   

Is the path pleasing to the divine? 

Does it only balance your hope and faith attaching you to your lord when you’re experiencing the highs?.

Do you feel scattered when experiencing the lows on the path? Does fear have a playing field when that is the case?

The answers will grant you profound insight paving way for long over due clarity. 

The reason there is a struggle in your trust regarding your hearts desire and in turn your faith is because you are missing the forest for the trees. “This isn’t right” becomes “this is right” when you metaphorically kill the attachment to the desire/outcome and become attached to the divine instead. This requires understanding and divine consciousness to execute. It isn’t necessarily contingent on your religious practice being on point. Allah guides the hearts and truth doesn’t discriminate against who receives it

Attachment to the divine makes sense because it’s him who guided you through his grace, strengthened your faith through his mercy. Protected you from misguidance (e.g you making its not right about matter) it’s him who left  you signs and synchronicities. Inspired you into multitudes of perspective shifts. The one who strengthened you with his spirit all to facilitate…..your journey back to yourself which ultimately means your journey back to him.

To truly trust you must first be free to trust, and you cannot be free where an attachment other than to Allah exists.

This is why one can’t project safety into the unknown. This is what makes one prone to repeat dynamics that don’t serve. This is how fear garners control over one to trip them up in matters pertaining to their faith. Faith that Allah cultivated in you to begin with to serve as your torch.

Why are attachments other than to the divine not in your highest good? Because unconsciously you end up being obedient to the outcome connected to the attachment. This leaves subconscious negative core beliefs managed by the ego, related to matters that need healing  left unexposed.  Through attachment to the divine this darkness is bought into the light for resolution. Distortions are healed as the subconscious mind is reprogrammed through truth and with love. 

He is not in need of your obedience in the end it serves your highest good. When Allah says re route your attachment to a matter and its outcome to me. It is so that your scattered focus aligns with unconditional self love and acceptance which is your soul structure. Re routing attachment to Allah thus frees you up to be in a state that receives.  

He wants attachments to other than him metaphorically annihilated. So that fears can be transmuted into pure faith. Your doubts into pure hope, your anxiety into trust  and your confusion into steadfastness.

Allah is interested in your soul evolution every test you encounter facilitates for this. Your soul yearns for this and works with it because it is motivated towards your wholeness. The souls attachment to the divine means it gets to relish in divine love. It’s safe and has an inner knowing where trust is concerned. That  whatever the outcome the divine destines regarding its hearts desire, ultimately is an outcome better than what your own will could conjure.

True alchemy of the heart, is to rid it from attachments to anything but the divine.

May he align your will with his. If you are on a rollercoaster look at the path it rolls through. To jump off is to detach from attachments, therefore the Jump off becomes a breakthrough.  Because detaching from attachments is soul liberation. 

This is the lesson your feelings knew. The rollercoaster and dynamic of sorts you were on are symbolic for the loops in life that stand as signposts telling you one thing ……… you-are-still-not getting-it. 

 

 

 

Egos Battle Cry 🤺

The ego makes one personalise the choice another made for themselves in correlation to you. It personalises because it applies the other persons truth to you. It gets caught up in a web of indirectly treating the other persons truth as the arbiter to judge & measure situation by. So it ends up affecting your self esteem one way or the other. You hone in on all the vulnerable things you feel and project it on the outside all because of this flawed navigation of another’s truth.  You feel judged, warped, angry, unfairly treated, hurt, disregarded and/or even abandoned. 

The soul sees the choice and is most cognizant of all that you are. It doesn’t personalise it takes their truth by letting it be just that, their truth/ what their heart resonated with. This  navigation gives birth to insight for you. The arbiter the soul judges by is in correlation to its truth not the other persons. 

Because of the souls courage to accept without resistance. It’s free to discern with out contamination of victim consciousness. What does this persons truth mean to you? What does it teach you about life and about them? This form of navigating around matter ultimately teaches you about yourself. You walk away with a truth birthed from the evaluation made because your own resonation is and allowed to be organically realised. 

There is no resentment towards the other person when your soul navigates, there is just awareness. Resentment is a messenger that informs you of where you are giving your power away. Awareness is a well lit platform that Supports you in standing/staying in your power. 

Every day people do one of two things, give away their power or not stand in it. The ego gives it away the soul stands firmly in it. This post topic is just one example of how.

Illusions melt away when you find the knowing of your worth. You may even find you feel there is nothing to forgive…

The grace of Allah truly liberates, as victim consciousness becomes exposed for what it truly is. The egos battle cry for survival.

Tight Rope

The end in sight is left open ended just like it was in the beginning.  The road ahead that felt so bumpy feels uneven as if it’s telling me to mind my step.  The sensations in my body point to feelings of wanting to vomit. I hardly ate, reason reminds, there is nothing to vomit out chill inside…

My soul is lost in imagination with what it has collected and contained of new values and truths. It’s itching to go..im becoming aware that it can see something clearly…. as If  it’s already energetically there…

The present moment feels powerful because of the substance my soul is there fiddling with. Ego noise is in the distant background concerned about an outcome and its current discomforts. It isn’t loud enough to distract, hijack, or even contaminate what’s going on.

I feel stuck in a 3D circumstance, but yet I’m free somewhere else I’ve never truly been in before? What’s going on with my soul. Why is it rearing and so itchy to go. like an Olympic racer about to sprint somewhere. Positioned past ready, frozen in set…and waiting for go. I’m marvelled by it all…when the rope tightens its about to snap. The opposite of faith isn’t doubt it’s certainty. The opposite of hope isn’t fear it’s security.

Oh Allah I surrender the outcome of my circumstance to you. I surrender the desire of my state in it too.

When the soul is the only expert on the ship, and its positioned itself for something that feels so so real…. summon courage to hold space for what inspired it. Even if you don’t fully understand it yet. There is nothing and then there is something, but above all there is the divine and his connect to your soul.

 

Realisation

Realization is nothing new to be acquired. It is already there, but obstructed by a screen of thoughts. All our attempts are directed to lifting this screen and then realization is revealed.
~ Ramana Maharshi

Realisation is the soul trusting you with information that you are now ready to use to benefit from. When you realise something you are in the throes of understanding.

Soul Ink

Being present with how I feel from moment to moment. Or at the end of daily reflections, through holistic balance of all that I recall to have felt. Births understanding that supports me from a place of  patience and balance. Balance that embraces without bias the places in which Allah chooses to cultivate understanding. Sabr that accepts it because i know its from him.

Ive spent most of my life understanding others at the expense of myself, taking on board their feelings due to empathy and compassion, with a fallacy of ‘mine can  wait‘ on board.

This fragmented my soul into smithereens. I’ve integrated most of what I’ve come to understand and feel no need to rush to get to a finish line as the process heals.

The process of change that through fear related blocks I use to despise, is the process I now feel most alive because in it is Allah.

My actions reflect back to me my strengths and areas that lack it. It reflects back places that have healed and places that await it. Through what I do or don’t do, I witness what flows with inner peace and get to identify what crashes within. Identifying what crashes within from a heart space, has become easier when asked to accept my feelings unconditionally.

Respect what crashes within for the feeling that pushed the breaks has something to give you. What resonates with me is to hold space for my emotions especially the vulnerable ones.  To feel them freely and guard it from being infiltrated by any story connected to anyone or thing,  that requires or summons an exit through doors linked to understanding that accommodate me upon entering.

Falling into that is how detachment from ones feelings occur you turn on your feelings, that let you receive understanding for others as the root of problem for how you abandoned yourself. Your understanding didn’t make you abandon yourself, you did through what you did with it. It’s a form of escapism to turn on your feelings and only results in the new feelings that were trying to guide you back to yourself becoming suppressed.

Detachment occurs due to  Imbalances that stem from unconscious self erasing conditions, of how one accepted  & embraced feelings. It’s self erasure because you became conditioned to disregard your own in service to others. So in finding no ‘use’ or space to place your own, you felt it was fair play to detach.

The greatest story to re write is what one considered good. Re write it this time, with your own soul holding the pen. dipping it in ink of unconditional acceptance and love of self. Keep the existing parts where soul approval exists. Be present with your own feelings unconditionally so you can learn how to meet all of your needs the same, for yourself by yourself.