Tag: Soul growth

Like water

I remember resonating  a lot with Bruce lee’s quote “be like water my friend” when I was a teen, of course there was more to quote than just that. But it was that part specifically that struck a cord with me.

The full quote is…

You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend. ~ Bruce lee 

Only after I grew older, did it dawn on me just how profoundly this quote impacted me unconciously. It crystallised in meaning, permeating  every fibre of my soul. I realised meaning was preserved and developed through various phases of my life. Because the quote was a sign, a clue about my authentic fluid nature. You can only connect the dots when you look back…
The freeing flow of the water was the opposite to the rigidity i’d lean towards, in the face of changes that I didn’t want. 
The freeing flow of the water was symbolic for all the fulfilment, my soul wanted to pursue but I’d resist because (insert blind spots that led to much self abandonment or fear of my true desires)
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…is your well being flowing through you and to you, no matter what your circumstance is. Just like this rock in the middle of no where, doesnt clog up the flow of the river passing through it. So too, when you follow what fulfils you will the rock not be a factor or obstacle to your harmony and flow.

To be (flow) like water, acknowledge every facet of your being, especially your soul perceptions about things. 

It’s only when we ignore the latter (our soul perceptions) that we fall into judgements and then projections and then last but definitely not the least, neglect in not acknowledging our true needs. 

Any disappointment like energy in life that we feel, can only be transmuted when we pursue what fulfils us. As the feeling of disappointment in our present moment, is carrying the loyal mail telling us that we are not being fulfilled. See the rock as is disappointment and the water is our  fulfilment continuing to flow regardless of it.

When inner conflict gets in the way, it only gets in the way of clarity coming in. That realisation serves as a great incentive for me to persevere and work through it. Clarity is what paves the way for us to align with fulfilment. It is the first dose of it, and ultimately for me, the reason why clarity feels like well being. 

 

Fulfilment & Wholeness

Forgiveness soothes the heart and acts as a barrier that keeps out the fire of resentment. It aligns one to stand with their authentic power, instead of comfort that deceives them from the realisation that they aren’t standing in it or worse have actually given it away.

Forgiveness is to give up the hope that the past could be any different and in managing that, we come to understand the present is all that we have and all that we need. To ensure a future, that encompasses the difference that was hoped for.

They say Forgiveness is to set free a prisoner only to find out that the prisoner was yourself. A prisoner, imprisoned from aligning with their truth. The kind of truth that swooshes past like a warm summer breeze. That whispers in spite of all that hurt you….. there is a part of your heart that remains pure (unblocked), that it is guarded by a part of you that wants to be acknowledged without shame or resistance. 

Only when we do acknowledge it, can we begin to finally heal and be free. Free from our own self judgment that has kept out the loving presence & truth of our soul. 

     ~~~~~~Reflection~~~~~~

After forgiveness, I found disappointment that left me sometimes feeling dejected & sometimes displaced. Some days ok…some days not so.

I prayed, asking Allah to reveal whats of benefit to me. To guide me to the root of what causes me re occurring imbalances and I realised  the feeling of disappointment that plagues my heart, carries a message asking me to acknowledge my truth unconditionally. 

And my authentic truth is that I don’t feel fulfilled. It’s like with this realisation came the death of what once was and the birth of a new adventure. That I don’t feel afraid of embarking upon.

Fulfilment is a gift no one can give you but yourself.  It requires the courage to not settle for anything less than what you know in your heart you deserve and prefer. The gps towards our  fulfilment is planted in the heart. The directions towards it are heard as intuition. 

Disappointment hurts because it is easy for the ego to infiltrate the space it squats in and take us down valleys of blame and judgment. Such valleys aren’t fulfilling when at times the ones we  judge and blame, we also love. (This includes ourselves) our emotional body will always reject falsehood with more feelings of discomfort. Truth settles in the heart, like a gentle swaying leaf lands where Allah willed for it to land. It doesn’t disturb through suffering, it just makes itself known.

We always have a choice to choose our stories, one of my biggest mistakes was to hope for those who I believe cared for me, write one worthy of me. In the parts where they were concerned or involved .

Until one day I realised not everyone who knows your worth also values it and quite often than not, it’s not even intentional not to. There could be distractions that ultimately have nothing to do with you. 

And perhaps that is one of life’s most difficult lessons, that Allah wishes to teach us. I.e Even though our expectations carry some proof of knowledge of our own self worth (as seen through what we expect that we feel is good for us). It also carries proof that we don’t value that good enough ourselves. Enough to give it to our selves, instead of waiting for it from others who either don’t care, or do but are distracted in myriad of ways.

Seeking what fulfils you reminds you to not settle. It is the bedrock of self love because it doesn’t allow you to unconsciously hand over your power by operating from a lack based mentality. A mentality that entraps you in a story where your fulfilment is absent and waited on, for it to be opted in, by others.  

I was guided to transmute the feeling of disappointment, into the authentic truth that I was witnessing unfulfilment. This simple mind shift empowers because it lies the onus of responsibility at your feet. 

Through it we can seek what fulfils us by moving away from what doesn’t first and foremost. The reoccurring imbalances end by one’s moving away from what doesn’t serve them, because what plagues the heart in grief, is given ample room to be healed and what doesn’t serve is always a clue as to what doesn’t fulfil.  

Staying in a vibration of disappointment leads to low vibrational feelings of sadness that the ego steers towards blame and judgment even towards your own self. 

When we acknowledge the deeper truth that a matter isn’t fulfilling. We land in our soul space that has been ready to take responsibility, for our lack of feeling un fulfilled. We align with our soul truth that wants to take us towards the paths that align with our fulfilment. 

If seeking fulfilment empowers, then it is because we are on the right track. It is because we aren’t giving away our power on the journey. It is because we aren’t choosing to let disappointment become our tent or our story.

It is because we are acknowledging our authentic reality, that this matter, this thing, this treatment, this place, this relationship, this job, this thought, this person or this plan, the way all this, currently is…Isn’t fulfilling me, something is missing and that matters. 

Deciding it matters is the essence of stamping value on your hearts resonance. On your needs which ultimately are you. When what matters is realised, so is it’s value. When value is truly acknowledged, your perception and how you move shift.

This spiral of clarity upwards leads to wholeness. If  the destination is wholeness, aligning with what fulfils you is the only way to get there. All other roads are mirages, illusions and ultimately dead ends.

Only you know what fulfils you, don’t deceive yourself. In life if we aren’t shifting due to the truth, we are looping due to unintentional self deception. 

Love over Fear

Lately I feel like I’ve been in another world going with the flow. A lot of intense energies bringing about a lot of purges. They keep hitting like tsunami waves. Leaving  as quickly as it came…..because ive not been fighting it. As soon as I see something coming up mid field I look within my heart and ask “what do you need?” listening lovingly to the answer it gives. There has been a lot of ‘sit down‘ & “rest for a moment” 

I mean it doesn’t even matter to me that I have to sometimes consciously look for a place to sit. All I care about is my  intent to honour what I need. So I need somewhere private, where in that moment I can just be at home with my emotions that’s fine not complicated anymore. However it wasn’t my norm,  I mostly pretty much use to treat feelings like a virus. All I want to do now is to follow my heart and honour its every need. As cliche as that sounds…..When I sit down I find it healing because whatever I feel passes through like a cool breeze on a hot summer afternoon. 

What this has done is freed up a lot of space within me. Space that resistance use to fill with false promise of safety or illusions of strength. Space that misunderstanding clogged up with restlessness and bulldozing of my own soul.

A lot of what I’ve been learning has centred around my needs it’s unbelievable.

~Awareness of my needs

~Acknowledging my needs

~Expressing my needs 

and the hardest of all…

~Honouring my needs.

There is a lot up in the air awaiting results or conclusions where my affairs are concerned I kid you not. But despite all of that, internally all I feel 80% of the time is harmony.

The current energies maybe intense but it is ushering us into a new world. I feel that strongly because for the first time in my life I’m not afraid of the unknown.  I’m on a plane of faith because only through divine grace…. in being taught what not to do, I’ve recieved the gift of knowing what to do.

Relief is contingent upon honouring your needs. Choosing to act through a base of love over fear. This choice requires that you follow a compass that points to meeting your needs before anything else.  

I use to hear a lot how we are co creators of our reality. I believe that so deeply because in every moment we make a choice through either love or fear.

Choose love, you know it’s a choice through love when it leads you to inner peace. When you act through listening to felt perception over mental noise.

The current energies are intense because this is the very lesson it’s grounding into our being. How varies for each and every one of us. It’s not just about a new beginning it’s an emotional re set. 

Breaking clean

I don’t resonate with some of the paths I’ve walked down or the conversations that took place in them.  It’s served what it came to serve and gifted me with new truths, values and ways of being. I’ve out grown the past because it’s fulfilled its duty to teach.

Be grateful if you can break clean. 

Treasure Hunt & Soul Liberation

You don’t find your worth you find your knowing of it and nothing is the same after that moment.
Life does provide and pinpoint some knowledge regarding your worth, like all that is within your divine birth right and/or perhaps all that is reflected back to you by your loved ones.

With that said there is an ocean of difference between knowing your rights and coming into knowledge of your worth. That difference is highlighted in the magical feeling that accompanies the latter. It’s as though in that moment you realise yourself.
Something as simple as understanding you have a right to matter, is not the same as coming to know that you actually do

Finding your knowing of your worth leads to actual solid embodiment. You go beyond intellectually understanding and knowing about it.

You  find your knowing OF IT,  when this happens you MEET your true self. It’s the moment your physical temporal self merges with your soul self. Emotional stability is provision carried only by your soul it’s what you feel when you step into it, it’s the jacket you wear when you come to know OF your worth.  To find the knowing of your worth is akin to saying hello to your soul.

 It is Liberation

Following Triggers Coalesce Mind, Body & Soul.

Triggers are uncelebrated Blessings in disguise. Once a trigger stops having an effect it means healing on the things it occurred through,  has happened. Allah’s timing for things are as perfect as he is, for he is time.

I thought my capacity to visit what triggered  me with an intent to see where healing was still required, somewhat strange. Strange in comparison to avoiding or projecting outwardly, through a compulsion to control the feelings as if it’s the threat or problem (which is what I use to do).

It’s this strangeness that would also lead to my pleasant genuine surprise when the effect of a trigger was gone, and so with it the realisation that so was my interest in matter that bought it up. That surprise was my way of letting what’s new to me, marinate. With all the disconnect with my emotions marination through surprise is how I gave myself a moment to integrate what’s new.

I think once  I understood what triggers stood for I found a new love~ dislike relationship with them. Love because of the healing it came to guide me to and dislike because of its timing sometimes. The dislike part I wasn’t able to trancend till recently.  It happened through rememberance that Allah is time. ‘Able’ kinda credits something to my functioning. Truth is that was his mercy his tawfiiq.

I thought I was strange but I’m grateful Allah guided  me to re define my strangeness as my souls strength.

Fatooba li ghuruba Give glad tidings to the strangers! Or the strange things about you.

Entrance of the False self

How can you spot where you’ve set up a false self? How do you know where remnants of its existence, still make an appearance in your life?

By looking closely at the things  you fear negativity can be attached to.  Those aren’t your fears, it’s your false selves.  That fear is an indication of where a false self version of you is making an appearance in a present moment.

The fear in the above mentioned context  is a sign of the carbon monoxide your false self is breathing out. If your soul isn’t breathing in a moment, your false self is. They can not both take oxygen simultaneously (metaphorically speaking)

Remove a false self layer by acknowledging  how you feel. Especially acknowledge & state  how you feel when a fear arises of you being perceived as negative because of it.  Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter in the grand scheme of things don’t mind. 

Peoples intent are not your business, that is a matter in the jurisdiction of Allah. What is your business is the effect.

Allow your feelings to point out to you where a boundary is crossed. To stifle how you feel because it would be judged as being negative. Is to allow a false version of you to appear that gives no significance to a violated boundary. When a boundary is violated it is you who is summoned to know first not the one doing it.

In that moment you go one of two ways, self abandonment or self love. Choose self love, No one can  warp your reality or disable your truth but you.

Sometimes it takes a long time for one to see just how much they’ve  violated their own boundaries. How much they’ve  abandoned themselves. Because that false self version is in the way, perpetuating the very blind spots that ensure their self abandonment and poor boundaries persist. 

I have a false self present when I tip toe around someone’s feelings. I then feel angry when I see my own is shown no consideration. These people only reflect back what you do to yourself. 

Anger isn’t negativity it’s an emotion highlighting self abandonment or lack of boundary, Sometimes both.

Ironically what your false self feared about being judged as negative, and what your true self leaks by way of anger that communicates you are out of alignment, in the end may get the same label of being negative put on them. Some people often need an exit to avoid responsibility. They sometimes have no qualms about taking one that blames you.

If you stay true to yourself and in alignment with speaking your truth. Your soul doesnt get the same wrap as your false self. And even if it does your soul remains composed as it is aligned with self trust.

In embracing your shadow you find strength through your unconditional self love because you’ve aligned it with unconditional self acceptance.

In assuming your firm side is harmful you fragment yourself.

You are not a buffet presented  to be nit picked from, you are a 3 course meal meant to be digested  with acceptance and love.

Do it first yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Storm

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“ Then after the distress, He sent down security for you. Slumber overtook a party of you, while another party was thinking about themselves (as how to save their ownselves, ignoring the others and the Prophet Scw) and thought wrongly of Allâh – the thought of ignorance. They said, “Have we any part in the affair?” Say you (O Muhammad Scw): “Indeed the affair belongs wholly to Allâh.” They hide within themselves what they dare not reveal to you, saying: “If we had anything to do with the affair, none of us would have been killed here.” Say: “Even if you had remained in your homes, those for whom death was decreed would certainly have gone forth to the place of their death,” but that Allah might test what is in your breasts; and to purge that which was in your hearts and Allah is All­Knower of what is in (your) breasts”. (Quran chapter Aali Imran 3:154)

When we enter the storm of a situation, we delete the space Allah’s help is meant to reach us from. Getting entangled with a storm is effectively catering to its narrative and needs as opposed to catering for your own. Yours get lost in translation because you’ve abandoned your ship.

And you’ve abandoned ship because you see the storm as the ship that you need to control. It gets the majority of your action based attention. This is neglect and Consequently in maintaining this imbalance (this neglect) your wellbeing becomes affected and so your life stream ends up with a malfunctional version of your wellbeing present in it.

It’s a slippery slope…
Since all good luck really is, is your wellbeing being present in your life stream without it being made defective due to any imbalance.

Seeing the storm as the ship you need to control (that needs your attention) is a course of action the psyche supports, because it presents a fear based type of logic back peddled and ushered in by the egos intent to surive.

All you see is what’s required of you, the obstacles in its way and what it all means to you, about you and for you. Entering the storm therefore is metaphorical for thinking of ways to meet the requirements presented by a situation that supports your ego and not your soul. It’s a course of action that rests on the thought system, of if you meet the requirements deemed right (by ego) the obstacles connected to matter dissolve, that then results in a path being paved for you to obtain your inner peace (insert: what grants you Satisfaction).

(nice plan in writing but in execution & in principle it’s not)

See the maxim here is that stability comes after the distress. Man kind however instinctively act based on the wrong formula that tells them, for the distress to be gone first one must establish stability.

This mentality is how one invalidates their feelings by suppressing it, it is how they enter the storm. They enter because they have fallen into the clutches of their ego “establish safety”
is speaking the egos language.

How is this different to the stated truth above that stability/safety comes after distress?

Because through that door you made space for Allah. You didn’t let the distress suck you into the storm. You stayed on your ship witnessing the storm. Sakinah/ calmness/ stability and peace was given to you as a result during process. Because you approached your affair through your reality not another’s (and definitely not one that isn’t even in existence)

You didn’t chop off or compartmentalise your reality because parts of it seemed irrelevant to the storm. In doing that you relinquish your power to the storm. (Storm is the issue in hand what ever it may be)
What you deemed irrelevant were your needs.

“Then after the distress, He sent down security for you….”

When you remain the captain of your ship you ain’t sinking. Because you made space for Allah.


“Slumber overtook a party of you…”

This is the party that held space to receive Allah’s help in matter. They let the distress flow and didn’t lose sight of their predicament as affecting them first & foremost. They acknowledge their truth as it is. And so stability is made theirs because they chose to remain present during the distress. Through Feelings we receive guidance.

“while another party was thinking about themselves (as how to save their ownselves, ignoring the others and the Prophet Scw)”

This is the party that enters the storm, thinking about themselves here means honing in on the problem via ego narrative.

how it or what happened, what liability on their side they presume. If only this and that, followed by now I need to do this and that, but I don’t have that or this, wait I can finnese it, but how?…ok that too has a problem so now… (Enter anxiety, blame, trapped in memories about moment before shortcoming on your side was made, or if you had no short coming, then enter mental focus on moment before problem became your reality. Fleeting moments because you are now in the midst of a situation. Even then one doesn’t stop, they add momentum of regret into the equation. This is all a problem blocking your life stream and therefore your stability because your well being is under serious strain due to neglect)


“and thought wrongly of Allâh, the thought of ignorance.”

Not holding space for him is ignorant. Because it implies he is absent. You may not believe that he is, but the point is you act like it. This happens unconsciously for most. It’s how they enter storm and abandon their ship.

“They said, “Have we any part in the affair?”

Entanglement with the storm happens because person took responsibility for the narrative presented by the problem/storm.


“Say you (O Muhammad Scw): “Indeed the affair belongs wholly to Allâh.”

😔♥️

“They hide within themselves what they dare not reveal to you…”

This is also the psychological affect behind the people who enter the storm. They have internalised the problem and what they hide within themselves, is the inner shame they feel towards the focused upon short comings, that they presume led to problem.

“Saying If we had anything to do with the affair, none of us would have been killed here…”

Stuck in the mental state of should’ve could’ve, the people entering the storm frequently think, that their distress is a result of their shortcoming. So they see not the reality now (that matter happened the way it did, in order to facilitate growth) but rather how they got there. It’s counter productive.

“Say: “Even if you had remained in your homes, those for whom death was decreed would certainly have gone forth to the place of their death…,”

Even if they fulfilled the should’ve could haves, they would have arrived in the same place. Because Allah would have still orchestrated the test ( to reach goal behind his wisdom for it in the first place, he will orchestrate the means as he sees fit)

“that Allah might test what is in your breasts;”

These tests are what align us with the potential he created us with. So in testing what’s in our hearts, he purifies us from the clutches of the Ego limitations blocking our life stream. Life doesn’t happen to you. It happens for you.

“and to purge that which was in your hearts…”

To purge is to get rid, the tests therefore happen to rid from your hearts what isn’t of it or from it. Anything caused to it by environment, or affects of core wounds and it’s core beliefs. Your ego is programmed with isnt from It.

This part of verse…made me feel raw emotions….I felt care from it…. deep awe evoking care, I have a heart worth the attention of divine cleansing? and attention? To restore it whilst unaware something was even contaminated with it in the first place?

If that isn’t kindness, profound understanding and protection towards me, I don’t know what is.

“and Allah is All­Knower of what is in (your) breasts”. (Aali Imran 3:154)

Because what we are unconscious of, he is not. He saw how our ego unconsciously formed. He was there, no one understands you more than him. Because no other person had front row seats. He is the best to validate you and vindicate you to yourself. This verse in Surah Imran evoked emotions of gratitude within me, that I pray are put on my scales.

Never abandon your ship. Because your story and needs, that you mentally checked out from, Allah never did. What that simply means is he was going to assist it, Will still assist it. Is sufficient to not just assist, but create to facilitate your needs perfectly and often in ways you didn’t expect or anticipate.

Allah doesn’t move from us we move from him. When we stay on our ships he assists in ways, all of what we were anxious of don’t even come into fruition. It doesnt get a part to play in the meticulously destined reality he has planned.

In entering the storm you run from yourself. Thus true abandonment is being left to your intellect. It’s the provision you took, and the loss here is the provision of Allah’s aid that you left behind.

Your ship, is your souls home, the place Allah enters…