Like water

I remember resonating  a lot with Bruce lee’s quote “be like water my friend” when I was a teen, of course there was more to quote than just that. But it was that part specifically that struck a cord with me.

The full quote is…

You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend. ~ Bruce lee 

Only after I grew older, did it dawn on me just how profoundly this quote impacted me unconciously. It crystallised in meaning, permeating  every fibre of my soul. I realised meaning was preserved and developed through various phases of my life. Because the quote was a sign, a clue about my authentic fluid nature. You can only connect the dots when you look back…
The freeing flow of the water was the opposite to the rigidity i’d lean towards, in the face of changes that I didn’t want. 
The freeing flow of the water was symbolic for all the fulfilment, my soul wanted to pursue but I’d resist because (insert blind spots that led to much self abandonment or fear of my true desires)
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…is your well being flowing through you and to you, no matter what your circumstance is. Just like this rock in the middle of no where, doesnt clog up the flow of the river passing through it. So too, when you follow what fulfils you will the rock not be a factor or obstacle to your harmony and flow.

To be (flow) like water, acknowledge every facet of your being, especially your soul perceptions about things. 

It’s only when we ignore the latter (our soul perceptions) that we fall into judgements and then projections and then last but definitely not the least, neglect in not acknowledging our true needs. 

Any disappointment like energy in life that we feel, can only be transmuted when we pursue what fulfils us. As the feeling of disappointment in our present moment, is carrying the loyal mail telling us that we are not being fulfilled. See the rock as is disappointment and the water is our  fulfilment continuing to flow regardless of it.

When inner conflict gets in the way, it only gets in the way of clarity coming in. That realisation serves as a great incentive for me to persevere and work through it. Clarity is what paves the way for us to align with fulfilment. It is the first dose of it, and ultimately for me, the reason why clarity feels like well being. 

 

Cut the Middle Man Out

If you don’t care about my peace of mind, I don’t feel valued by you…

That’s ok, just make sure to establish the peace you need yourself and to realise your feeling here, is sending a reminder. For you to remember who you are, so you can value it to do the above. 

If you feel a sense of abandonment or rejection  creeping up on you in any matter you are immersed in. Then know that the feeling is showing  you, that in that very moment you are not standing in the power of your value.

If you make that conscious connect, you shift because you remember your value & the feeling subsides, because you received what it came to give you.

When you see your feelings as messengers, you don’t run the risk of activating projections, that make you miss the loyal Mail. 

 

The Void & Value

When you remember and put value on your heart, your needs, feelings, dreams and contentment. You become clear on what you need to do in every thing that concerns you. By value I mean real potent importance. Our Free will chooses the paths we walk on in life and that is all it is there for and meant to do.

How those paths unfold, whether good for you or not, depends on whether or not the path you chose was a path that presented most or least resistance for you and that can only be determined by how the path feels. In the end all that is in ones control is the opportunity (if they take it) to ascertain one simple truth. Is the path im choosing a path chosen out of self love or is it chosen through some subconscious conditioning that aligns me with sacrifice of my wellbeing that I’m not aware of, yet under the effect of.  This matters because it can indicate the reality that may await us on those paths. Realities that are either conducive to what’s in accordance with our highest good or not.

With this perspective comes the understanding that we really are co creators of our reality. I feel grateful to know that in my own volition, lies a power that can govern me with contentment. I don’t feel afraid to choose my paths,  out of fear of what I may meet along the way anymore. I dont feel afraid because in its stead, I feel safeguarded knowing I chose out of self love and when I don’t for what ever reason, I’ll still feel safe because I can take precautions rather than feel blindsided by any harms experienced. 

We fear the void more often than not because we stumble across it unprepared and without direction. How did we get here, what shall I do here, are the kind of thoughts that can consume our mind and affect our energy (how we show up)

We find anxiety and hyper vigilance as companions instead of self trust and patience. Self trust that grants us the clarity that this too shall pass inshallah, so don’t lose hope in the path you’ve taken because suddenly (and who knows perhaps even momentarily) you saw nothing in the void, that reassures you that you’re ok that you’re safe. With out the reassurance we become afraid and expect or think the worst in the void. We don’t think to neutralise our scattered energy with unconditional self love that recognises the part of us in the moment that is in need of reassurance, doesn’t require it from external factors, but rather from deep within our own selves.

It needs to be fed the hope, it’s trying to outsource from the external by you yourself. It needs you to give it a compassionate narrative that stems from self love, like ‘we used our free will through self love and the void we are in now is a place where we can find Allahs company….Allah who is always there for the vulnerable, like a host ready to feed its guest all that will increase them with more hope and faith. With the remembrance of Allah hearts do find rest because through his remembrance we are nourished and replenished. The void is an abundant space only when Allah is remembered in it.

This verse from the Quran 2:30 just came to mind as I was contemplating what I said above…

”Remember (when) your Lord said to the angels: “I am setting on the earth a vicegerent. ” The angels asked: “Will you set therein one who will cause mischief in the land and shed blood? while we glorify you with your praise and sanctify your holy name?  He said: “Surely I know that which you do not know.”

What he “knows” instils confidence & faith in the heart because it stirs it to look beyond the circumstances that hinder it from the above and into the way of goodness inherent in the heart of man. Goodness that can be accessed through transcendence of one’s limitations, goodness that  is representative of the potential and value of man.  What Allah knows instils confidence because it aligns those who understand, with the divine value bestowed upon them.  

The status of vicegerent in essence is symbolic of mankinds value. It’s a lofty position where one is only second to Allah the most loving, the all mighty the one true sovereign.  So when ever we find ourselves to have shifted from it (our value) in our own personal lives, in ways where we’ve settled for positions and circumstances not reflective of our value and for what ever reason. It is simply because we are not in conscious awareness of what Allah confidently knows I.e our value that he himself bestowed. I find it amazing that this verse was inspired for me to remember along with this understanding in one flow. So I write as I process in different ways…the connection between our free will, the space of the void and our inherent value as human beings.

I feel Allah measures us and sees us not through a black and white lens, but rather through the grey areas where he holds space for us because he deems us through his love as worthy of it. I feel he does this so those of us who reflect (and in doing so receive his grace) can learn to do that and believe that ourselves. Seeing us in the grey is to see us in our holistic form which is what unconditional self love calls us to do also. 

When we learn to hold space for ourselves in the most challenging of life’s stations like in the abyss of the void. We find that once feared ominous space, transmuted into a guest room in the palace of the most merciful. 

Our free will and how we choose to use it determines how we journey through the paths that unfold in our lives. Either hitting the ground running when we face obstacles or hitting it and walking with the flow. We are either anxious or steady, and operating through fear or love. We are either cut off from our value or cognisant of it. 

CEO of my Wellbeing

To protect your space (wellbeing) you must first cultivate awareness about what invades it. Then step into your power to embrace it. 

When you don’t you fragment yourself and vital energy that you need to thrive ends up depleted. 

What’s worse you may not even know why you’re frustrated in a moment. Because without awareness your mind is left in the dark intercepted by the ego/false self. That is scrambling for judgment or blame via complaints, because it has to make interpretations that suit its motivation for survival about your experience in some way.

A lot of the time we are aware of major things that affect our wellbeing. Hence why people have boundaries regarding them.

I’ve found the little things we tolerate however  are more consistent and therefore are prone to  yield more frequent invasions of our space.  Reason dictates it should have more attention because it’s through them that the cracks appear (waiting to be seen) in the first place. 

For example it may be easy for someone to  distance themselves from someone who lied to them because honesty is a boundary connected to their values (for obvious reasons) 

What falls through the cracks however, is the truth that, that same person may not have boundaries against energies that don’t uphold their boundary for honesty. So they are akin to tolerate vagueness, lack of transparency and in essence booky/shady behaviour. All of which clearly clog up the stream,their wellbeing is meant to flow through and to (them) in.

This tolerance is an unconscious choice because it’s as though they don’t give themselves the permission to protect themselves; because based on their subconscious beliefs they haven’t caught person out on a lie yet so what they feel otherwise becomes irrelevant. 

What’s worthy to note here is the thought process of doubt that says ‘nothing really happened’ i.e proof of being lied to hasn’t manifested. Is how the ego false self evaluates the external circumstance, to ultimately divert one away from the truth that something is happening inside…..the false self isn’t motivated towards ones wholeness just their survival. 

So ‘nothing happened’  actually means, nothing that upholds the energy of honesty is around you through this person or circumstance & your guidance system (feelings) is telling you via your soul “I don’t need this” “i dont want to engage with this” “this isn’t good for me” 

So in effect something IS happening and it’s something not conducive to your wellbeing, because you ain’t ok with certain energies when it comes around you and that matters. 

Cement the cracks with your truth of that, not debate it because there isn’t yet a fact. Close what invades your space with unconditional commitment to how you feel. Not leave it open because your feelings on their own are deemed unreliable by you yourself or anyone else. 

No one is responsible for your wellbeing but you. That’s why i feel its best to choose resonation over compromise. The former carries no confusion and the latter in this context is akin to the worst connotations that stem from the notion of settlement.

Compromising with energies that don’t uphold the energies that support a boundary is the pathway to getting stuck in comfortable limitations. Which in reality leaves you uncomfortable because it carries the illusion of protection from a set back or loss. In my case fear of getting something wrong were the kind of set backs I’d avoid like the plague. 

What I realised a while ago,is the subtle truth that as the CEO of my life, I’m good with not getting the protection of my wellbeing wrong.

Thats the priority that if & when met, takes care of everything I need. Security comes from within. To give it to our ownselves and not look for it in others behaviours is the pinnacle of being responsible. 

Space Jam

It is often said protect your space from negativity but I feel this can be too vague an instruction to actually yield real results for most; because it can be a struggle to even recognise what’s negative and what isn’t at times.  We are human and have our own unconscious blocks so yes it can be difficult to pinpoint what’s negative in a moment for us in and of itself. Especially when there isn’t a solid or decent relationship with understanding our feelings.

Nothing annoyed me more than generic statements like “block out negativity” “protect yourself from negative people” “declutter your space” sure but what who and how?. I don’t resonate with statements that carry some frantic urge like energy. Like I need to run to or from something.  

It’s easy to underestimate our power of definition and in so doing, we can relinquish this power to societal standards and norms that define things for us without being aware of how it does. The more awareness we gain about ourselves  through what we feel, the more this power of definition becomes like a remote control in our hand that we naturally gravitate towards and explore.

For example I began to feel a lot of inner expansion and space when I defined….

Clearing up tumultuous misunderstandings expressed to me as negative but not in and of itself. I set this as a default rule because I felt it was easier to branch out this way. If it’s defined as negative for me, I then end up with a space where I can sit and discern through the exceptions I’ve made for this rule (I’ll address this more soon.)

Point is the alternative left me scattered and overwhelmed as it was too loose …I needed a structure that put me first and this rule that I can branch out from, provided that. 

I first became aware of this strain that I felt when I found myself cleaning things up. It was confusing at first because I genuinely like to be of help and clarity is something I love. I love safeguarding it from loss, providing it when I have it and want it when I don’t.

When this awareness of the strain I felt slowly became more focused, I began to see it most notable in matters that pertained to one expecting or subjecting others to clean up their tumultuous misunderstandings. Whether one was aware they had one or not is irrelevant as pending task felt the same.

It’s negative because the misunderstandings would be presented by another without taking an active part in the clean up process themselves i.e they don’t hold space for it and if they do, it’s after a lot of stubborn resistance The kind  you also end up ironing out of the way.  

This happens when someone tells you something that doesn’t leave room for other perspectives. Clearly the perspective they have has holes in it and it’s detrimental to their own well being. Yet they want to defend it like their life depends on it.

Cue you entering to clear it up even worse, the person never even asked you too. 

Whats wrong with this picture? 

Aside from the selfishness that you at times assume or at times is true( because even though person didn’t ask you to clean up they want you to) its draining. If you are anything like me your tendency to genuinely prefer clarity to chaos makes you step in to iron out what seems off, from all that you’ve grasped essence wise from matter. 

The problem with this ‘clear up’ is it depletes your energy, especially when you aren’t cognizant of the how’s and whys of its happening.

For the longest time I actually didn’t connect this nor did I even mind doing it (the clear ups I mean) But now with my soul running the show more and more every day.  I have an emotional boundary that I’ve become very cognizant of. The kind that says…..unless I see YOU caring for a clear up, or YOU asked for one or at the very least YOU made it known through your vulnerability that YOU are open to perspectives that may carry one.

I will stare at you and ruthlessly leave you to your chosen path. This takes form in simple ways like a response of “madness….” to a rant made.

I couldn’t do that before, do what? Just witness In stead I would block my soul through my false selves guilt narrative and end up entangled. I couldn’t simply just leave person to it because I would feel for the other and conflate my needs when I did similar things,  with the other persons.  Even though a huge difference existed.  I was that person who would present an energetic signal through my vulnerability…There was a part of me that therefore welcomed a clean up and I appreciated those equipped to provide it mainly because my issue came from a place of hurt. (If I’m just venting you’ll know)

I didn’t care for defence and detest people who view objections as defence in and of itself. (Note: why power of definition is important) 

I define this clearing up of misunderstandings by default of seeing or feeling its existence as negative for me, when the one presenting it, in extreme cases wants to stand there absolved from responsibility to seek clarification and in normal cases leaves it vague enough I end up entangled..  

It’s negative because it requires you to take on a problem that the other persons substance should have a handle on. But they don’t have the substance because at times they may be unconscious of the ego influence, that blinds them to this and in clearing it up for them willingly, you block the individual from seeing their own shadow?  You block them from seeing how the ego keeps them in victim consciousness? Even if you point that out, you engaging in a clear up enables them to stay blocked??

The people vary in needs some do exactly what I’m describing, others don’t intend to but come across that way (so it’s you interpreting matter as is) regardless of the details of what form they appear in or not.

You either are being pulled into what doesn’t serve your highest good or you pull yourself in and resent the other who simply was just venting to you. In any case….

When you stay in your lane you actually help the other person because it exposes them to their own lane. That they refuse to even enter in the first place or aren’t aware is there for them to enter. Ultimately they are exposed to a lane where their substance could be obtained…. The rant dies down, they have exhausted the complaint. You’ve heard them and now a space becomes available where they choose one of two things 

*Ask for clarity through feedback..

Or…

*Leave conversation scratching their own head.

Understanding what serves you and what is in accordance to your highest good. Means to allow the latter to occur and not internalise any discomfort that ensues as a result. Sometimes being authentic means making others uncomfortable. They ain’t uncomfortable with your authenticity but more so the audacity of it and you aren’t uncomfortable because of the other person but more so because you fragmented in moment because you aren’t being authentic.

We live in times where being authentic is…well bizarre. That’s why authenticity is moreso a practice as opposed to something you have or don’t have but I digress…

This cleaning up things that isn’t yours can occur in myriad of ways. It’s easy to fall into and it’s slow poison. That’s why I can only manage it by making it a rule not to….unless (insert the aforementioned exceptions to the rule)

To protect your space you must first cultivate awareness about what invades it. Step into your power of definition to then embrace it. When you don’t you fragment yourself and vital energy that you need to thrive ends up depleted and you are left on a hamster wheel mad at these situations where your energy gets used up. What’s worse you don’t even know at times why you are mad consciously. Without awareness your mind is left in the dark. 

The above results in producing the feeling of anger. A feeling that comes to point out a boundary has been or is in the process of being violated by you or another. If you don’t get to benefit from this guidance and matter concludes itself as a boundary being broken or over stepped. Then your feelings don’t leave you hanging. Resentment follows suit loyally carrying guidance, to show you where you are giving your power away or not standing in it. Feelings guide and become your best friend when you begin to decipher what they mean…

Does not seeing resentment as a feeling that shows you where you are giving your power away or lacking to stand in it, make you look at the feeling differently? More importantly in a way that actually empowers you. As opposed to leaving you feeling powerless which is the default way we are prone to relate to resentment…

Whats astonishing is resentment transmuted becomes wisdom and when left to fester passes the buck back to anger through grudge lol rinse repeat. 

Let your feelings direct you to what matters or behaviours that are negative for you. Others can give you pointers but no one can define this for you and it’s futile to ignore it just because (perhaps) the negativity is or was within you yourself at one point or another albeit in different ways or on different levels. Don’t ignore what can be used to develop awareness that can facilitate growth for you.

Ive never been team no negativity, I’m more team why does this negativity exist?  

Protecting your personal space is one of the greatest personal investments you can make as it is the epitome of self care.  I feel doing it from the inside out yields better more fruitful results

You can make boundaries through speech but those that arise through an energetic shift from within stick and speak for themselves.

Ultimately it provides you authentic space woven through substance. It’s authentic because you yourself are taught not to contaminate it. So it becomes a space that maintains catharsis that allows you to Jam uninhibited.