Patience & Enabling

There is a thin line between patience and enabling and I think that line is to do with purpose or lack of it. True patience flourishes when it is aligned with divine purpose and without this, one is prone to enable situations and/or people that usher in experiences and ways of behaving, that do not match up to whatever our individual divine purpose is. (I am not referring to the collective purpose)

Often in the name of patience, we can steer off course and enable our loved ones even ourselves. Because without purpose to measure things through, everything becomes convoluted and it’s easy for a false sense of guilt and it’s qualifying perception, to be mistaken for a voice of reason or compassion.

Another way of understanding what our divine purpose is, is knowing your true calling in life. This would be personal to you and it often has ‘symptoms’ like what you’re most passionate about, what do you check passionately, when things other wise roll off you, like water of a ducks back.

Your divine purpose that Allah helps to bring you into alignment with, is therefore things he already created you to have the substance for. The spark and drive is imminent and it pours into every aspect of your life, even if you aren’t always aware of its happenings. What people tell you you’re great at believe them, as it’s a major indicator and what you think you are good at keep developing.

Patience/sabr is a virtue one of the greatest in the sight of Allah and it is a gift for people to be met with and a manifestation of self care when you meet yourself with it, but what it never is, is enabling. Unlike enabling, patience doesn’t disconnect you from your divine purpose. As the spark and drive within its flow also pours into matters or to people you’re called to be patient about or with.

That’s one way to see if you’ve crossed the thin line between patience and enabling. Do you feel disconnected from self or connected in flow.

When you’re patient Allah replenishes your soul when you’re enabling, feelings of imbalances occur. These feelings are guidance to indicate and direct to truth.

Enabling in the name of patience , regardless of when it’s done or with whom, the impact is the same. Measuring things through whether or not it matches up with personal divine purpose is therefore key. Because It keeps you in check inwardly and so too governs well your outward reality. Because you yourself and your loved ones receive the best of you.

Be truly patient 💎

Like water

I remember resonating a lot with Bruce lee’s quote “be like water my friend” when I was a teen, of course there was more to quote than just that. But it was that part specifically that struck a cord with me.

The full quote is…

You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend. ~ Bruce lee

Only after I grew older, did it dawn on me just how profoundly this quote impacted me unconciously. It crystallised in meaning, permeating every fibre of my soul. I realised meaning was preserved and developed through various phases of my life. Because the quote was a sign, a clue about my authentic fluid nature. You can only connect the dots when you look back…

The freeing flow of the water was the opposite to the rigidity i’d lean towards, in the face of changes that I didn’t want.

The freeing flow of the water was symbolic for all the fulfilment, my soul wanted to pursue but I’d resist because (insert blind spots that led to much self abandonment or fear of my true desires)

…is your well being flowing through you and to you, no matter what your circumstance is. Just like this rock in the middle of no where, doesnt clog up the flow of the river passing through it. So too, when you follow what fulfils you will the rock not be a factor or obstacle to your harmony and flow.

To be (flow) like water, acknowledge every facet of your being, especially your soul perceptions about things.

It’s only when we ignore the latter (our soul perceptions) that we fall into judgements and then projections and then last but definitely not the least, neglect in not acknowledging our true needs.

Any disappointment like energy in life that we feel, can only be transmuted when we pursue what fulfils us. As the feeling of disappointment in our present moment, is carrying the loyal mail telling us that we are not being fulfilled. See the rock as is disappointment and the water is our fulfilment continuing to flow regardless of it.

When inner conflict gets in the way, it only gets in the way of clarity coming in. That realisation serves as a great incentive for me to persevere and work through it. Clarity is what paves the way for us to align with fulfilment. It is the first dose of it, and ultimately for me, the reason why clarity feels like well being.

Second Draft

When people change, you must not erase what you knew about them before the change that hurt you.

It’s what we knew after all, that we must grieve. As it’s what we knew, that we had the relation and connection with.

There is a seed planted under the rubbles where your heart was crushed. A seed that grows into profound clarities, that lay out the foundation for a greater and more wholesome home.

There is a crack in the psyche that pain illuminates. So we can experience discernment creeping through when needed most. Discernment, that shows us how to get to and stay in said new home.

All that happens, when, where, what and how ultimately serves the evolution and expansion of your soul.

Will you be patient?…is a question I’ve asked myself a lot. The answer is always yes because patience fulfils my soul.

There is a part of me that always cared to master myself. That always cared for the silver lining in the dark clouds, that appeared on my path.

And because of this, this same part of me unwittingly dismissed my feelings to work through things I had no business doing. It held space for things that bothered me.

This part of me that cared to understand even if I wasn’t being understood, is now grateful to realise that she can exist in a space devoid of any form of self deception. A space that makes sense of the unconscious self betrayals that resulted in the forgetting of myself.

Only with time can we look back and re write the first draft that made excuses for others and none for ourselves.

Only with time can we grow strong enough to look back and swallow the cold truth that in deleting ourselves…..we overestimated the intentions and integrity of others……..and just as we are about to attack ourselves for that, we can in its stead, attach to self love that writes a second draft.

A second draft with clarity replacing confusion. Truth replacing illusion, understanding replacing judgment, empowerment replacing resentment and fulfilment replacing disappointments.

Our soul holds the pen, that is ready to write our second draft on everything.

Springing Back

My resilience was birthed from the burdens I shouldered, that I now know I shouldnt have had to…..my desire for relief, because of the burdens.

Im looking at my ability for seeing the bigger picture easier than most, differently. Making peace that skipping myself, provided a head start to do it.

I don’t know if that’s a blessing or a tradegy. I feel, I think it’s more the blessing in the midst of the tradegy.

I wondered one day, how I could keep the blessing and end the tradegy…

My heart said through emotional attunement that doesn’t underestimate your value and overestimate others intentions and integrity….

When the hearts involved there should be no negotiation or dictation over how one deals. Let others cradle their unsettled truths and grief how they need to.

Forgiveness is a process that triggers those afraid of accountability. I’m not killing my self softly, hoping you won’t be.

Longing for own comfort

Don’t let longing distort your reality. It’s easy to confuse your feelings for what you are thinking…

For example sometimes while you think you are longing for a person, a thing or a particular experience. You run the risk of missing a message carried by your feelings, that encapsulates your true reality in a moment. A reality that says what you’re longing for is actually your own comfort.

This reality matters because it’s something you can gift to yourself. It is in the spectrum of your control.

When we don’t separate out the story from the object of our longing. The reality that what we need, being comfort gets distorted.

The need wounds up being associated with the external matter in focus. This association is what leads to our exit of the space, where the emotional intensity that requires our availability to self exists. Instead of being available we become unavailable and thus we end up trying to neutralise the intensity we feel. With initiated action that we hope would quell the problem or issue correlated with how we feel.

So if the story is about you longing for a certain experience. You initiate actions that align with the meeting or bringing about of it. Like leaving your city even if doing so feels like the path of most resistance.

If it’s longing for a person, than you iniate actions like reaching out to individual. Even if you know in moment they aren’t good for you.

This is self abandonment because you are doing everything except being emotionally available to your self. The reality of comfort being needed, gets distorted because the emotional intensity is projected outward and thus any stability regarding it is hoped for outwardly also.

When we are emotionally attuned we enter a safe space of acknowledgement that leads to the giving of the comfort that’s needed. The comfort that enters into the space where the emotional intensity is usually left unattended; can only be accessed through the adoption of self compassion. Self compassion grounds us into staying with our feelings and ultimately feeling them it’s the opposite of self neglect.

Our own emotional availability has the power to heal the emotional intensity carried by our inner child. That shows up fuelling the illusion behind the projections. This phenomena occurs because the inner child is seeking what we fail to give it, by other means.

When grounded in self compassion we begin to find the courage to feel our vulnerability. As doing so pulls back the projection from the external matters we think we are longing for. It is realised that the projection is the abandonment. So when the projection is retreated & exchanged for emotional attunement to self, it leads to the comfort received by our inner child that’s in need of it most.

This is the result of the unravelling of the distortions that disperses the unconscious confusion holding it in place and reveals in its stead the truth. Truth that ineveitably leads to the creation of well needed boundaries for the mind to learn and adhere to. The kind of boundaries that block out looping intrusive disempowering thoughts. That usually tell us we’re unsafe thus feelings of being insecure, about where we are in a moment ensue. This is where the inner child needs our adult self and when abandoned over and over again, it seeks safety through the ego patterns that are set up to intend to protect it.

We aren’t unsafe because we don’t feel safe. If we don’t feel safe, it’s a sign there is room for healing and that’s ok.

“What’s important is to learn how to heal the intensity of longing that is the result of a childhood attachment injury, where you did not feel seen, heard or understood in your family system.” Alan Robarge

I feel that although people heal in different ways. In order for healing to take place most efficiently. It should be considered that feeling safe is about being able to truly embody what’s coming.

When I believe Allah is conspiring in my favour. I feel safe because I’m able to realise my soul that has the ability and substance to embody what’s coming. As opposed to my ego consciousness that wants to take control of the chaos it percieves about what’s coming, because safety is in the ‘accomplishment’ of that. Of one being in control of ominous realities/incoming chaos, imagined or not.

Realisation of the soul is the true meaning of being in our divinity. When we are in our divinity we feel safe, because we are anchored to a power greater than us. That understands why we are where we are & why we do the things we do.

We come to understand that the opposite of chaos is not control it’s fundamentally, trust. In this case self trust that our emotional availability for our own selves is enough to lead us to the whole truth about what’s amiss within.

Fulfilment & Wholeness

Forgiveness soothes the heart and acts as a barrier that keeps out the fire of resentment. It aligns one to stand with their authentic power, instead of comfort that deceives them from the realisation that they aren’t standing in it or worse have actually given it away.

Forgiveness is to give up the hope that the past could be any different and in managing that, we come to understand the present is all that we have and all that we need. To ensure a future, that encompasses the difference that was hoped for.

They say Forgiveness is to set free a prisoner only to find out that the prisoner was yourself. A prisoner, imprisoned from aligning with their truth. The kind of truth that swooshes past like a warm summer breeze. That whispers in spite of all that hurt you….. there is a part of your heart that remains pure (unblocked), that it is guarded by a part of you that wants to be acknowledged without shame or resistance.

Only when we do acknowledge it, can we begin to finally heal and be free. Free from our own self judgment that has kept out the loving presence & truth of our soul.

Reflection

After forgiveness, I found disappointment that left me sometimes feeling dejected & sometimes displaced. Some days ok…some days not so.

I prayed, asking Allah to reveal whats of benefit to me. To guide me to the root of what causes me re occurring imbalances and I realised the feeling of disappointment that plagues my heart, carries a message asking me to acknowledge my truth unconditionally.

And my authentic truth is that I don’t feel fulfilled. It’s like with this realisation came the death of what once was and the birth of a new adventure. That I don’t feel afraid of embarking upon.

Fulfilment is a gift no one can give you but yourself. It requires the courage to not settle for anything less than what you know in your heart you deserve and prefer. The gps towards our fulfilment is planted in the heart. The directions towards it are heard as intuition.

Disappointment hurts because it is easy for the ego to infiltrate the space it squats in and take us down valleys of blame and judgment. Such valleys aren’t fulfilling when at times the ones we judge and blame, we also love. (This includes ourselves) our emotional body will always reject falsehood with more feelings of discomfort. Truth settles in the heart, like a gentle swaying leaf lands where Allah willed for it to land. It doesn’t disturb through suffering, it just makes itself known.

We always have a choice to choose our stories, one of my biggest mistakes was to hope for those who I believe cared for me, write one worthy of me. In the parts where they were concerned or involved .

Until one day I realised not everyone who knows your worth also values it and quite often than not, it’s not even intentional not to. There could be distractions that ultimately have nothing to do with you.

And perhaps that is one of life’s most difficult lessons, that Allah wishes to teach us. I.e Even though our expectations carry some proof of knowledge of our own self worth (as seen through what we expect that we feel is good for us). It also carries proof that we don’t value that good enough ourselves. Enough to give it to our selves, instead of waiting for it from others who either don’t care, or do but are distracted in myriad of ways.

Seeking what fulfils you reminds you to not settle. It is the bedrock of self love because it doesn’t allow you to unconsciously hand over your power by operating from a lack based mentality. A mentality that entraps you in a story where your fulfilment is absent and waited on, for it to be opted in, by others.

I was guided to transmute the feeling of disappointment, into the authentic truth that I was witnessing unfulfilment. This simple mind shift empowers because it lies the onus of responsibility at your feet.

Through it we can seek what fulfils us by moving away from what doesn’t first and foremost. The reoccurring imbalances end by one’s moving away from what doesn’t serve them, because what plagues the heart in grief, is given ample room to be healed and what doesn’t serve is always a clue as to what doesn’t fulfil.

Staying in a vibration of disappointment leads to low vibrational feelings of sadness that the ego steers towards blame and judgment even towards your own self.

When we acknowledge the deeper truth that a matter isn’t fulfilling. We land in our soul space that has been ready to take responsibility, for our lack of feeling un fulfilled. We align with our soul truth that wants to take us towards the paths that align with our fulfilment.

If seeking fulfilment empowers, then it is because we are on the right track. It is because we aren’t giving away our power on the journey. It is because we aren’t choosing to let disappointment become our tent or our story.

It is because we are acknowledging our authentic reality, that this matter, this thing, this treatment, this place, this relationship, this job, this thought, this person or this plan, the way all this, currently is…Isn’t fulfilling me, something is missing and that matters.

Deciding it matters is the essence of stamping value on your hearts resonance. On your needs which ultimately are you. When what matters is realised, so is it’s value. When value is truly acknowledged, your perception and how you move shift.

This spiral of clarity upwards leads to wholeness. If the destination is wholeness, aligning with what fulfils you is the only way to get there. All other roads are mirages, illusions and ultimately dead ends.

Only you know what fulfils you, don’t deceive yourself. In life if we aren’t shifting due to the truth, we are looping due to unintentional self deception.