Soul Mode of Operation

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Above quote is from one of Peterson’s lectures, the last part of “that’s pretty pathetic” struck a cord of full agreement within me. I realised it’s because it’s a straight home run, of truth.  

I feel If  there is any meaning to be found in responsibility, it’s the truth that no other action empowers us better than it. Likewise no action disempowers us more promptly and efficiently than the shirking of it. That’s why it’s a pretty pathetic state to adopt.

When we embrace through compassion and with no resistance, the reality of how pathetic some chapters of our life have been. The nuances that present themselves in such a moment, connects us to the deeper meaning that instils awareness of what we deserve.

There is even a sense of deep caring yet unsettling melancholy, that accompanies the profound realisation of how long you have gone with out what you deserve. It’s as if you’re suddenly & energetically awake to the fact that Allah created us whole. So the very hustle of worthiness, is in its essence an action that is based on illusions that rob, inhibit, stall and clog our life force. 

If I reflect and attempt to surmise, the most important meaning, I’ve found in all the matters I’ve adopted responsibility for…

It’s the awareness that connected me to the only unwavering secure reality I needed to thrive. A reality within my jurisdiction of control that incorporates all of my needs, not compromises or compensates for some of them. It’s the conscious clarity that can be appreciated in that reality, of the mercy of Allah for not relegating the maintenance of our wellbeing, to the whims of others.

Most meaning is found in the adoption of responsibility because the adopter is the soul and taking responsibility is it’s mode of operation.  

DROPS OF EASE

Crying for me was a pivot point I didn’t like to reach.  Now it’s a point of rest, where when I arrive I do not flee.

When I cry,  on that Hollywood hill sign I see in my mind, I see the word “healing

When I cry I feel replenished, I feel parts of myself that I felt bad for abandoning. I release tension and grief,  I receive clarity and ease because when I’m in a state of self acceptance and love like that. I’m aware I’m in a state of surrender and hope, I know Allah who sees my tears counts them and wipes them away.

Looking back my hidden tears kept me alive because his divine mercy was the only refuge I truly allowed my heart to have.

Crying isn’t a sign of defeat it’s a sign of strength. It’s refusal to be overwhelmed to be over come. It’s celebration that didn’t happen…I’ve never cried for anything except to make space for a strain on my heart or  gratitude I felt in it.

Drop tears when you need to, as it drops ease that heal and comfort you. Never regret a moment when you surrendered to your hearts will to breathe, because that is what crying truly is. Breathing, choosing to be free, breathing, appreciating that you are.