Forgiveness soothes the heart and acts as a barrier that keeps out the fire of resentment. It aligns one to stand with their authentic power, instead of comfort that deceives them from the realisation that they aren’t standing in it or worse have actually given it away.
Forgiveness is to give up the hope that the past could be any different and in managing that, we come to understand the present is all that we have and all that we need. To ensure a future, that encompasses the difference that was hoped for.
They say Forgiveness is to set free a prisoner only to find out that the prisoner was yourself. A prisoner, imprisoned from aligning with their truth. The kind of truth that swooshes past like a warm summer breeze. That whispers in spite of all that hurt you….. there is a part of your heart that remains pure (unblocked), that it is guarded by a part of you that wants to be acknowledged without shame or resistance.
Only when we do acknowledge it, can we begin to finally heal and be free. Free from our own self judgment that has kept out the loving presence & truth of our soul.
After forgiveness, I found disappointment that left me sometimes feeling dejected & sometimes displaced. Some days ok…some days not so.
I prayed, asking Allah to reveal whats of benefit to me. To guide me to the root of what causes me re occurring imbalances and I realised the feeling of disappointment that plagues my heart, carries a message asking me to acknowledge my truth unconditionally.
And my authentic truth is that I don’t feel fulfilled. It’s like with this realisation came the death of what once was and the birth of a new adventure. That I don’t feel afraid of embarking upon.
Fulfilment is a gift no one can give you but yourself. It requires the courage to not settle for anything less than what you know in your heart you deserve and prefer. The gps towards our fulfilment is planted in the heart. The directions towards it are heard as intuition.
Disappointment hurts because it is easy for the ego to infiltrate the space it squats in and take us down valleys of blame and judgment. Such valleys aren’t fulfilling when at times the ones we judge and blame, we also love. (This includes ourselves) our emotional body will always reject falsehood with more feelings of discomfort. Truth settles in the heart, like a gentle swaying leaf lands where Allah willed for it to land. It doesn’t disturb through suffering, it just makes itself known.
We always have a choice to choose our stories, one of my biggest mistakes was to hope for those who I believe cared for me, write one worthy of me. In the parts where they were concerned or involved .
Until one day I realised not everyone who knows your worth also values it and quite often than not, it’s not even intentional not to. There could be distractions that ultimately have nothing to do with you.
And perhaps that is one of life’s most difficult lessons, that Allah wishes to teach us. I.e Even though our expectations carry some proof of knowledge of our own self worth (as seen through what we expect that we feel is good for us). It also carries proof that we don’t value that good enough ourselves. Enough to give it to our selves, instead of waiting for it from others who either don’t care, or do but are distracted in myriad of ways.
Seeking what fulfils you reminds you to not settle. It is the bedrock of self love because it doesn’t allow you to unconsciously hand over your power by operating from a lack based mentality. A mentality that entraps you in a story where your fulfilment is absent and waited on, for it to be opted in, by others.
I was guided to transmute the feeling of disappointment, into the authentic truth that I was witnessing unfulfilment. This simple mind shift empowers because it lies the onus of responsibility at your feet.
Through it we can seek what fulfils us by moving away from what doesn’t first and foremost. The reoccurring imbalances end by one’s moving away from what doesn’t serve them, because what plagues the heart in grief, is given ample room to be healed and what doesn’t serve is always a clue as to what doesn’t fulfil.
Staying in a vibration of disappointment leads to low vibrational feelings of sadness that the ego steers towards blame and judgment even towards your own self.
When we acknowledge the deeper truth that a matter isn’t fulfilling. We land in our soul space that has been ready to take responsibility, for our lack of feeling un fulfilled. We align with our soul truth that wants to take us towards the paths that align with our fulfilment.
If seeking fulfilment empowers, then it is because we are on the right track. It is because we aren’t giving away our power on the journey. It is because we aren’t choosing to let disappointment become our tent or our story.
It is because we are acknowledging our authentic reality, that this matter, this thing, this treatment, this place, this relationship, this job, this thought, this person or this plan, the way all this, currently is…Isn’t fulfilling me, something is missing and that matters.
Deciding it matters is the essence of stamping value on your hearts resonance. On your needs which ultimately are you. When what matters is realised, so is it’s value. When value is truly acknowledged, your perception and how you move shift.
This spiral of clarity upwards leads to wholeness. If the destination is wholeness, aligning with what fulfils you is the only way to get there. All other roads are mirages, illusions and ultimately dead ends.
Only you know what fulfils you, don’t deceive yourself. In life if we aren’t shifting due to the truth, we are looping due to unintentional self deception.