In every moment you are exactly where you are meant to be. Even if at times it didn’t or doesn’t seem like it. Who you are in essence, can never be diminished by what surrounds you.
Tag: Growth
Games of thrones
My crowns been collecting dust on the shelf ,as I walked through valleys of existential darkness & chaos. There was a lot I needed to see, a lot of people I needed to meet. Both the good and bad thereof, ultimately assisted the evolution of my soul. Insight cant be borrowed it’s accessed. Depth can’t be bought it’s lived.
The Jump off
“Having full faith is knowing that when Allah takes away the umbilical cord he will replace it with milk” ~ Yasmin mogahed
Ive been contemplating about faith lately by observing firstly, all of the fear based illusions that attack it. I’ve noticed how when the attacks up the ante there are parts of our psyche along with our heart, that counter attack fear to assist us. I understand why the heart would. What surprised me was the minds help, since the fear based illusion also stemmed from there.
Such is life that good and bad can branch out from the same place. So stand alone statements such as the mind supports or the mind antagonises. Prove only one thing in the end and that is that a momentary experience factualised on mere ground of occurrence. Can not be held as holistic truth. In doing so then at least know that facts can be misleading. The same mind that reasons also pushes out illusions & distortions.
Every one has a struggle with trust, one way or another. There are the general kind of struggles. That have momentum based in natural anticipations of what’s desired. This general kind carries light somatic experiences like nerves as opposed to heavy ones like shame.
The true struggle in trust occurs when you are in the abyss of the unknown. Your fear of loss is activated because there is a deep attachment to outcomes. These fear based illusions create restrictive resistance to your flow. In fact so strenuously that projecting safety in the unknown in such moments feels like surgery without anesthetic.
This type of struggle can go on for a long time because the true test in the struggle is left unrealised. You experience extreme highs when you experience things in support of your desired outcomes and extreme lows when you don’t.
Allah is meticulous in how he orchestrates the test for you, so the highs and lows are not exactly things you can place firmly in a box and diagnose cognitively. They stand as juxtaposes that drive you insane. Why? Because both your positive thinking and negative thinking rely on it to make its case.
Your feelings try to point out to you that this isn’t right, so you think it’s to do with matter and abandon ship because the matter low-key becomes the enemy to your peace. Your soul pulls you back in not necessarily in agreement with your conclusion. So you lean on positive thinking only for the highs and lows to begin again.
Your feelings point out over and over again that this isn’t right and thus as the cycle repeats itself. You end up on a familiar roller coaster stuck in a never ending dynamic of sorts. Misinterpreting your reality because you misread the true guidance your feelings carried all along.
“This isn’t right” is and always was in relation to the path you took or are on, not matter in and of itself. The matter is what you desire, what you desire is rooted and nourished in the heart and co signed by the wholeness carried by your soul. The heart is between the fingers of the divine, meaning out of your control.
So when you find yourself stuck in stalement in a dynamic you know isn’t congruent to your over all wellbeing. When on a roller coaster that eventually makes you hop off feeling some type of way. Look at your feelings and apply its guidance to the path instead of matter.
As Einstein said “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results“
Change course, don’t erase a part of yourself by making “it’s not right” about the matter. Make it about the one thing you are in control of and that is the path you took, the path you’re on.
Look at all the ways in how that is not right and you will stumble upon discoveries you can not ignore.
Is the path to following your hearts desire a path in alignment with self love i.e are you speaking your truth and standing in your power. Are you unconditionally honouring your needs and accepting your feelings with out by passing or micromanaging them?
Is the path pleasing to the divine?
Does it only balance your hope and faith attaching you to your lord when you’re experiencing the highs?.
Do you feel scattered when experiencing the lows on the path? Does fear have a playing field when that is the case?
The answers will grant you profound insight paving way for long over due clarity.
The reason there is a struggle in your trust regarding your hearts desire and in turn your faith is because you are missing the forest for the trees. “This isn’t right” becomes “this is right” when you metaphorically kill the attachment to the desire/outcome and become attached to the divine instead. This requires understanding and divine consciousness to execute. It isn’t necessarily contingent on your religious practice being on point. Allah guides the hearts and truth doesn’t discriminate against who receives it.
Attachment to the divine makes sense because it’s him who guided you through his grace, strengthened your faith through his mercy. Protected you from misguidance (e.g you making its not right about matter) it’s him who left you signs and synchronicities. Inspired you into multitudes of perspective shifts. The one who strengthened you with his spirit all to facilitate…..your journey back to yourself which ultimately means your journey back to him.
To truly trust you must first be free to trust, and you cannot be free where an attachment other than to Allah exists.
This is why one can’t project safety into the unknown. This is what makes one prone to repeat dynamics that don’t serve. This is how fear garners control over one to trip them up in matters pertaining to their faith. Faith that Allah cultivated in you to begin with to serve as your torch.
Why are attachments other than to the divine not in your highest good? Because unconsciously you end up being obedient to the outcome connected to the attachment. This leaves subconscious negative core beliefs managed by the ego, related to matters that need healing left unexposed. Through attachment to the divine this darkness is bought into the light for resolution. Distortions are healed as the subconscious mind is reprogrammed through truth and with love.
He is not in need of your obedience in the end it serves your highest good. When Allah says re route your attachment to a matter and its outcome to me. It is so that your scattered focus aligns with unconditional self love and acceptance which is your soul structure. Re routing attachment to Allah thus frees you up to be in a state that receives.
He wants attachments to other than him metaphorically annihilated. So that fears can be transmuted into pure faith. Your doubts into pure hope, your anxiety into trust and your confusion into steadfastness.
Allah is interested in your soul evolution every test you encounter facilitates for this. Your soul yearns for this and works with it because it is motivated towards your wholeness. The souls attachment to the divine means it gets to relish in divine love. It’s safe and has an inner knowing where trust is concerned. That whatever the outcome the divine destines regarding its hearts desire, ultimately is an outcome better than what your own will could conjure.
True alchemy of the heart, is to rid it from attachments to anything but the divine.
May he align your will with his. If you are on a rollercoaster look at the path it rolls through. To jump off is to detach from attachments, therefore the Jump off becomes a breakthrough. Because detaching from attachments is soul liberation.
This is the lesson your feelings knew. The rollercoaster and dynamic of sorts you were on are symbolic for the loops in life that stand as signposts telling you one thing ……… you-are-still-not getting-it.
Tight Rope
The end in sight is left open ended just like it was in the beginning. The road ahead that felt so bumpy feels uneven as if it’s telling me to mind my step. The sensations in my body point to feelings of wanting to vomit. I hardly ate, reason reminds, there is nothing to vomit out chill inside…
My soul is lost in imagination with what it has collected and contained of new values and truths. It’s itching to go..im becoming aware that it can see something clearly…. as If it’s already energetically there…
The present moment feels powerful because of the substance my soul is there fiddling with. Ego noise is in the distant background concerned about an outcome and its current discomforts. It isn’t loud enough to distract, hijack, or even contaminate what’s going on.
I feel stuck in a 3D circumstance, but yet I’m free somewhere else I’ve never truly been in before? What’s going on with my soul. Why is it rearing and so itchy to go. like an Olympic racer about to sprint somewhere. Positioned past ready, frozen in set…and waiting for go. I’m marvelled by it all…when the rope tightens its about to snap. The opposite of faith isn’t doubt it’s certainty. The opposite of hope isn’t fear it’s security.
Oh Allah I surrender the outcome of my circumstance to you. I surrender the desire of my state in it too.
When the soul is the only expert on the ship, and its positioned itself for something that feels so so real…. summon courage to hold space for what inspired it. Even if you don’t fully understand it yet. There is nothing and then there is something, but above all there is the divine and his connect to your soul.
Inside Insight
Power fulfils strength provides, use your strength to step into your power. Through trials and hard times it’s your strength that Allah builds. Your power is something he has already created within you.
Strength expands in the heart, vulnerability gives it its wings. When a tear rests in your lower eyelid it’s glad tidings, you’ve stepped into the realm where your power is held. This realm feels dark like fatigue and heart ache all mixed in one. You find yourself in a state of sober thoughtfulness.
It is here your intuitive intelligence speaks and you are able to recieve its guidance. It wants you to stay in this realm so you can be replenished. Power fulfils because it intersperses your wholeness, in all that you do. For that to happen it must first rejuvenate you, envelope you become you. Let it.
Footsteps In the Wind
‘A door is closing as it should. As it must in order for the next door to open. Yes, there is a chance that there is a journey between the doors. Time to heal. Time to regroup. Time to shed and release the old and time to make space for the new. What will get you from one door to the next? Faith. Trust in yourself and in this process. What will keep your own light burning? Hope; even a shred is enough to get you there’ ~Anonymous
Northern Star
Get out of your own way every day, bathe in your own love in every way. Use your hope in the big things to nourish & maintain your hope in the little things. Seek not to fix yourself but to get to know yourself. All that you will ever need is already inside of yourself. So let go and let live as you dance to the rhythm of your own heart. It’s path is tailor made for all that you are. It’s will is your northern star.
This above all: to thine own self be true.
Every living organism is fulfilled when it follows the right path for its own nature. ~Marcus Aurelius
Today I was teaching a class and mid lesson as I spoke about the importance of adhering to the agreed scope of ones job role. My intuition jumped out at me. I felt this intense but fulfilling serenity descend over me. I honestly don’t give myself enough credit for having the worlds greatest poker face!
I was teaching the students that it was important to adhere to the scope of their job role because it ensures that they meet their responsibilities, their legal obligations. It is important so they don’t commit to work beyond it. Important so that they do not end up overextending themselves, unless from their own volition which is really use of intiative.
I told them adhering to the scope of their job role cultivates deeper understanding of boundaries, theirs and those of others. How in turn that maintains respect in the workplace and replenishes and decorates the quality of their professionalism. Lastly how it teaches and safeguards the concept of true accountability because they would have a solid reference point to evaluate themselves through and from.
Example your boss gives you feed back that states you are not doing enough. When you adhere to the scope of your job role and you have conscience awareness that you did just that. You are in a good position to discern that your boss is being unfair. That he/she has expectations of you beyond your pay etc
Likewise when you know deep down that you haven’t been adhering to the scope of your job role. That you have been winging it or slacking here there. You are able to embrace your bosses assessment, take the criticism and appreciate that you are being given an opportunity to turn things around.
It was at this point my intuition highlighted how everything I was saying applied to the nurturing of our very own soul.
What if your job role in this world was to self actualise?. What if the scope of this job consisted of you meeting with out hindrance (your own or that of others) the obligations that come with self actualisation i.e standing in unconditional self love and acceptance. What if reaching a state of wholeness was your job role.
I thought about this on the way home especially the accountability part. We live in times where existential crisis is on the rise. People knowingly or unknowingly test the boundaries of others. Triggers galore, shame and guilt shackle most.
An individuals inner authority isn’t something that is tapped into as a default. Doubt or fear or a combination of both, interrupt the flow. People are not present in the now, they either have a foot in the past (grief) or a foot in the future (anxiety) distracting them from harmony that can be harnessed now.
We end up consumed by deadlines and to do lists. Consumed by meeting the needs of loved ones even at the expense of our own needs. Consumed by desires we feel are out of reach. Time to ones own self is seen as idle, time allotted to outside of ones self productive. A lot is on ones plate because they are not adhering to the scope of their job role alone.
They have over extended and over committed themselves. They have censored or abandoned themselves. In this high paced life where people march like cattle surviving not thriving. Boundaries whether violated or not, isn’t something that can be processed adequately, because to process effectively stillness/awareness is required. When you just do you can’t receive, you are on the run with 21 seconds to go.
So not only are your own boundaries crossed unnoticeably, even if you feel it, but you can not recognise how & when you are infringing on those of others, even if you feel that too. Recognition requires conscious awareness, feelings can’t be deciphered without it so they unfortunately end up a moot point.
Result of this is we end up repelling each other (respect isn’t maintained) and professionalism is what…. if not symbolic in this topic for our humaneness. Our humanness that isn’t replenished, because it isn’t on display, it isn’t benefited from so what’s there to ‘decorate’
When we adhere to the scope of our job (reaching wholeness) we have lines drawn. You know what you have to do. Even if you are lost you know acceptance of that is part of the scope of your job too. To surrender to what is instead of fixating on what could be or what isn’t. Your ‘location’ is recognised on the sat nav directing to your wholeness. Reach your destination organically through divine timing.
I think a lot of the pain we suffer especially in regards to shame or burdens we shoulder. Is because we are not, in such moments aligned with our individual roles. Focus becomes scattered when it’s insisted on making an appearance in dual and polarised situations.
You take on too much, or too little, you over extend or under commit. You can’t hold your self accountable efficiently because you have no base to spring from. You therefore either accept responsibility for what’s not yours or fail to take responsibility for what is.
Not adhering to the scope of your job is the mother of all chaos. Chaos you attract to your life and chaos you bring to others.
Order can not come from disorder so when we feel imbalanced or worn down I think introspection in regards to how we step or stepped outside of ourselves is of utmost importance.
When we do this we are in a good position to pinpoint a problem from a soul space. An intention for correction is thereafter cultivated organically. You find harmony in the midst of chaos because you manage to get yourself back in lane and you also manage to see how others are in your lane. What you see you can approach, what you are blind to you cannot.
I’m only ever truly content when I adhere to the scope of my job because I feel connected with that, I flow through it. When I pause to reflect upon the why’s behind why im content even if others are not, I get to check in and reinforce my values and standards.
Adhering to the scope of your job is simply to do your part, you aid the collective in goodness when you do, it’s the only and best thing you can do because in hindsight you have control over yourself. Struggle is a domino effect when we don’t adhere to the scope of our jobs. It tastes like food with out salt. I personally feel like goldilocks looking for that right porridge. When the only way to make it just right, is if you make it yourself. You can not when you get out of your own lane. You can not when you are not adhering to the scope of your own job, and you may not yet understand, what it is because…
Our goals are not achieved if all our energy given to us to achieve the goal and self-actualization is directed towards being accepted by our surroundings and to meet their requirements ~Sunday Adelaja
Crestfallen or Equanimous
The relationship you have with yourself is the one you will have with others. People enter your life as confirmation of how you are with yourself inside. They compliment both your light and dark nature. They reflect both your conscious and unconscious activity. It’s important to pay attention to those who come to highlight the latter. They are there through divine wisdom as an opportunity for you to integrate parts of yourself. It’s important to pay attention to the negative experiences you have because ignoring it only exacerbates the intensity of the lesson when it returns for its next stint, and return it will…
On a human level we are all the same. Susceptible to dislike for discomfort, unease or pain. Its these emotions that require our attention through awareness and diligence in focus. Yet we meet them with dejection and eventually remove ourselves from experiencing them all together.
It’s this supression of emotions that lead to never ending loops and cycles that reflect and bring the same problems back. The subconscious mind obeys us when we say we don’t want to deal with this or that. It takes this or that and files it somewhere. There is no shredding or deletion just files stacked in a room named the unconscious. Files that require opening because in the midst of the unconscious lies ones authentic self.
Emotions when experienced and allowed to flow lead to feelings that unravel the messages our souls want us to receive. Messages that carry information regarding our true self.
Often we find intuition asking us to take a closer look at the things that upset us, captivate us negatively and catapult us away from the present moment. Intuition being the the seat of the soul, directs motivated towards our wholeness. Without listening to it, and further suppressing our feelings we remain stuck in the very situations that bring about the emotions we will, to shove away and not experience.
Life is strange but predictable like that, until you learn the lesson the circumstances surrounding it will continue to come back. However much the people, the actual situation, date, or even year may change.
Standing in ones power is best observed every time you exercise the awareness that the buck starts and ends with you.
Why is this happening? Serves us best when followed by what is it trying to show me? What it shows is what it’s teaching.
I’ve always wondered about those two questions. Even if my initial reaction was to get lost in the story, I found myself returning to those two valleys. Sometimes I didn’t get the answers I needed in order to receive the lesson. But it was sufficient that I asked those questions. Sometimes asking those questions was the lesson. In any case wondering about the right things eventually leads you to the paths where Allah provides the answers.
These type of journeys don’t require suffering as a passenger. Suffering happens when you resist what is, when you exit the present moment.
The next time you feel discomfort, unease or pain, pause for the cause that is the emergence of your true self. Pause and allow yourself to experience those emotions fully, because through the experience they transform themselves and when they transform you receive guidance.
Crestfallen is the result when you think life is what happens to you. Equanimity is the result when you believe it happens for you.
My Hearts Will
I’m learning to listen to my hearts will, I’m learning that is to respect what it resonates with. I’m learning resonation is how it expresses its will. Im learning to accept that by recognising the ways that ego doesn’t cosign. In feeling the reasons behind it’s why, ive surrendered to my hearts will and feel alive.
I feel flooded with love because of this. It’s washing me inside out, its loving me first. It’s forgiving me with its carthartic hugs. I will no longer suppress its will to protect it from harm. As that cuts me off from feeling my own love. Trust the will of your heart it knows how to preserve its self. The egos protection harms it far greater than any outside force ever could. The heart requires aim to land true, aim through self trust.
Synergetically Yours 