In every moment you are exactly where you are meant to be. Even if at times it didn’t or doesn’t seem like it. Who you are in essence, can never be diminished by what surrounds you.
My crowns been collecting dust on the shelf ,as I walked through valleys of existential darkness & chaos. There was a lot I needed to see, a lot of people I needed to meet. Both the good and bad thereof, ultimately assisted the evolution of my soul. Insight cant be borrowed it’s accessed. Depth can’t be bought it’s lived.
“Having full faith is knowing that when Allah takes away the umbilical cord he will replace it with milk” ~ Yasmin mogahed
Ive been contemplating about faith lately by observing firstly, all of the fear based illusions that attack it. I’ve noticed how when the attacks up the ante there are parts of our psyche along with our heart, that counter attack fear to assist us. I understand why the heart would. What surprised me was the minds help, since the fear based illusion also stemmed from there.
Such is life that good and bad can branch out from the same place. So stand alone statements such as the mind supports or the mind antagonises. Prove only one thing in the end and that is that a momentary experience factualised on mere ground of occurrence. Can not be held as holistic truth. In doing so then at least know that facts can be misleading. The same mind that reasons also pushes out illusions & distortions.
Every one has a struggle with trust, one way or another. There are the general kind of struggles. That have momentum based in natural anticipations of what’s desired. This general kind carries light somatic experiences like nerves as opposed to heavy ones like shame.
The true struggle in trust occurs when you are in the abyss of the unknown. Your fear of loss is activated because there is a deep attachment to outcomes. These fear based illusions create restrictive resistance to your flow. In fact so strenuously that projecting safety in the unknown in such moments feels like surgery without anesthetic.
This type of struggle can go on for a long time because the true test in the struggle is left unrealised. You experience extreme highs when you experience things in support of your desired outcomes and extreme lows when you don’t.
Allah is meticulous in how he orchestrates the test for you, so the highs and lows are not exactly things you can place firmly in a box and diagnose cognitively. They stand as juxtaposes that drive you insane. Why? Because both your positive thinking and negative thinking rely on it to make its case.
Your feelings try to point out to you that this isn’t right, so you think it’s to do with matter and abandon ship because the matter low-key becomes the enemy to your peace. Your soul pulls you back in not necessarily in agreement with your conclusion. So you lean on positive thinking only for the highs and lows to begin again.
Your feelings point out over and over again that this isn’t right and thus as the cycle repeats itself. You end up on a familiar roller coaster stuck in a never ending dynamic of sorts. Misinterpreting your reality because you misread the true guidance your feelings carried all along.
“This isn’t right” is and always was in relation to the path you took or are on, not matter in and of itself. The matter is what you desire, what you desire is rooted and nourished in the heart and co signed by the wholeness carried by your soul. The heart is between the fingers of the divine, meaning out of your control.
So when you find yourself stuck in stalement in a dynamic you know isn’t congruent to your over all wellbeing. When on a roller coaster that eventually makes you hop off feeling some type of way. Look at your feelings and apply its guidance to the path instead of matter.
As Einstein said “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results“
Change course, don’t erase a part of yourself by making “it’s not right” about the matter. Make it about the one thing you are in control of and that is the path you took, the path you’re on.
Look at all the ways in how that is not right and you will stumble upon discoveries you can not ignore.
Is the path to following your hearts desire a path in alignment with self love i.e are you speaking your truth and standing in your power. Are you unconditionally honouring your needs and accepting your feelings with out by passing or micromanaging them?
Is the path pleasing to the divine?
Does it only balance your hope and faith attaching you to your lord when you’re experiencing the highs?.
Do you feel scattered when experiencing the lows on the path? Does fear have a playing field when that is the case?
The answers will grant you profound insight paving way for long over due clarity.
The reason there is a struggle in your trust regarding your hearts desire and in turn your faith is because you are missing the forest for the trees. “This isn’t right” becomes “this is right” when you metaphorically kill the attachment to the desire/outcome and become attached to the divine instead. This requires understanding and divine consciousness to execute. It isn’t necessarily contingent on your religious practice being on point. Allah guides the hearts and truth doesn’t discriminate against who receives it.
Attachment to the divine makes sense because it’s him who guided you through his grace, strengthened your faith through his mercy. Protected you from misguidance (e.g you making its not right about matter) it’s him who left you signs and synchronicities. Inspired you into multitudes of perspective shifts. The one who strengthened you with his spirit all to facilitate…..your journey back to yourself which ultimately means your journey back to him.
To truly trust you must first be free to trust, and you cannot be free where an attachment other than to Allah exists.
This is why one can’t project safety into the unknown. This is what makes one prone to repeat dynamics that don’t serve. This is how fear garners control over one to trip them up in matters pertaining to their faith. Faith that Allah cultivated in you to begin with to serve as your torch.
Why are attachments other than to the divine not in your highest good? Because unconsciously you end up being obedient to the outcome connected to the attachment. This leaves subconscious negative core beliefs managed by the ego, related to matters that need healing left unexposed. Through attachment to the divine this darkness is bought into the light for resolution. Distortions are healed as the subconscious mind is reprogrammed through truth and with love.
He is not in need of your obedience in the end it serves your highest good. When Allah says re route your attachment to a matter and its outcome to me. It is so that your scattered focus aligns with unconditional self love and acceptance which is your soul structure. Re routing attachment to Allah thus frees you up to be in a state that receives.
He wants attachments to other than him metaphorically annihilated. So that fears can be transmuted into pure faith. Your doubts into pure hope, your anxiety into trust and your confusion into steadfastness.
Allah is interested in your soul evolution every test you encounter facilitates for this. Your soul yearns for this and works with it because it is motivated towards your wholeness. The souls attachment to the divine means it gets to relish in divine love. It’s safe and has an inner knowing where trust is concerned. That whatever the outcome the divine destines regarding its hearts desire, ultimately is an outcome better than what your own will could conjure.
True alchemy of the heart, is to rid it from attachments to anything but the divine.
May he align your will with his. If you are on a rollercoaster look at the path it rolls through. To jump off is to detach from attachments, therefore the Jump off becomes a breakthrough. Because detaching from attachments is soul liberation.
This is the lesson your feelings knew. The rollercoaster and dynamic of sorts you were on are symbolic for the loops in life that stand as signposts telling you one thing ……… you-are-still-not getting-it.
The end in sight is left open ended just like it was in the beginning. The road ahead that felt so bumpy feels uneven as if it’s telling me to mind my step. The sensations in my body point to feelings of wanting to vomit. I hardly ate, reason reminds, there is nothing to vomit out chill inside…
My soul is lost in imagination with what it has collected and contained of new values and truths. It’s itching to go..im becoming aware that it can see something clearly…. as If it’s already energetically there…
The present moment feels powerful because of the substance my soul is there fiddling with. Ego noise is in the distant background concerned about an outcome and its current discomforts. It isn’t loud enough to distract, hijack, or even contaminate what’s going on.
I feel stuck in a 3D circumstance, but yet I’m free somewhere else I’ve never truly been in before? What’s going on with my soul. Why is it rearing and so itchy to go. like an Olympic racer about to sprint somewhere. Positioned past ready, frozen in set…and waiting for go. I’m marvelled by it all…when the rope tightens its about to snap. The opposite of faith isn’t doubt it’s certainty. The opposite of hope isn’t fear it’s security.
Oh Allah I surrender the outcome of my circumstance to you. I surrender the desire of my state in it too.
When the soul is the only expert on the ship, and its positioned itself for something that feels so so real…. summon courage to hold space for what inspired it. Even if you don’t fully understand it yet. There is nothing and then there is something, but above all there is the divine and his connect to your soul.
Power fulfils strength provides, use your strength to step into your power. Through trials and hard times it’s your strength that Allah builds. Your power is something he has already created within you.
Strength expands in the heart, vulnerability gives it its wings. When a tear rests in your lower eyelid it’s glad tidings, you’ve stepped into the realm where your power is held. This realm feels dark like fatigue and heart ache all mixed in one. You find yourself in a state of sober thoughtfulness.
It is here your intuitive intelligence speaks and you are able to recieve its guidance. It wants you to stay in this realm so you can be replenished. Power fulfils because it intersperses your wholeness, in all that you do. For that to happen it must first rejuvenate you, envelope you become you. Let it.
‘A door is closing as it should. As it must in order for the next door to open. Yes, there is a chance that there is a journey between the doors. Time to heal. Time to regroup. Time to shed and release the old and time to make space for the new. What will get you from one door to the next? Faith. Trust in yourself and in this process. What will keep your own light burning? Hope; even a shred is enough to get you there’ ~Anonymous
Get out of your own way every day, bathe in your own love in every way. Use your hope in the big things to nourish & maintain your hope in the little things. Seek not to fix yourself but to get to know yourself. All that you will ever need is already inside of yourself. So let go and let live as you dance to the rhythm of your own heart. It’s path is tailor made for all that you are. It’s will is your northern star.