Like water

I remember resonating  a lot with Bruce lee’s quote “be like water my friend” when I was a teen. Of course there was more to quote than just that, but it was that part specifically, that left the most impression on me and stayed with me.

The full quote was…

You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend. ~ Bruce lee 

Only after i grew up, did I slowly begin to realise the quote left such a profound impression. Because it was a subtle clue my soul wanted me to grasp, about my authentic fluid nature. 
The freeing flow of the water was the opposite to the rigidity id lean towards, in the face of changes that I didn’t want. 
The freeing flow of the water was symbolic for all the fulfilment, my soul wanted to pursue but I’d resist because (insert blind spots that led to much self abandonment or fear of my true desires)
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…is your well being flowing through you and to you, no matter what your circumstance is. Just like this rock in the middle of no where, doesnt clog up the flow of the river passing through it. So to when you follow what fulfils you, will the rock not be a factor or obstacle to your harmony and flow.

To be like water my friend, acknowledge every facet of your being, especially your soul perceptions about things. 

It’s only when we ignore the latter (our soul perceptions) that we fall into judgements and then projections and then last but definitely not the least, we fall further away from acknowledging our true needs. 

Any disappointment like energy in life that you feel, can only be transmuted when you pursue what fulfils you. As the feeling of disappointment in ones present moment, is carrying the loyal mail telling you that you are not being fulfilled. See the rock is disappointment and the water is your fulfilment continuing to flow regardless of it.

When inner conflict gets in the way, it only gets in the way of your clarity coming in. That realisation serves as a great incentive for me to persevere and work through it. Clarity is what paves the way for you to align with fulfilment. It is the first dose of it, and ultimately for me, the reason why clarity feels like well being. 

 

Cut the Middle Man Out

If you don’t care about my peace of mind, I don’t feel valued by you…

That’s ok, just make sure to establish the peace you need yourself and to realise your feeling here, is sending a reminder. For you to remember who you are, so you can value it to do the above. 

If you feel a sense of abandonment or rejection  creeping up on you in any matter you are immersed in. Then know that the feeling is showing  you, that in that very moment you are not standing in the power of your value.

If you make that conscious connect, you shift because you remember your value & the feeling subsides, because you received what it came to give you.

When you see your feelings as messengers, you don’t run the risk of activating projections, that make you miss the loyal Mail. 

 

Recognising the Inner child

Your insecurities reflect what your inner child believes. It’s your inner child that makes you doubt your worth or value because of what he/she believes. 

Sometimes instead of looking within, people look outwardly and project the emotional intensity floating up from their unconscious. That wants to reveal a particular point related to information like this.

If we think the emotional intensity we feel is about the story that caused it to bubble up. We will continue to miss the points that would have led to our illumination about a matter. 

Conversely if we don’t project the emotional intensity, but instead we become emotionally available to ourselves enough to feel it and accept how we feel afterward. We heal and ultimately grow into cultivating  unconditional self acceptance, that establishes good self esteem.

All that we don’t accept are filed away as insecurities. That means self esteem is left injured. Wholesome living can not be attained with out recognising & attending to the one who did the filing… 

Your inner child..

That needs your efforts & attention to turn towards their reality. So that they can be seen heard, nourished and loved.  Rather than subjecting it to disregard and thus further abandonment. Because the ego employs patterns of resistance to keep us away from the  places and spaces our inner child is left to bleed alone or worse hustle for its needs on its own.

 

Fulfilment & Wholeness

Forgiveness soothes the heart and acts as a barrier that keeps out the fire of resentment. It aligns one to stand with their authentic power, instead of comfort that deceives them from the realisation that they aren’t standing in it or worse have actually given it away.

Forgiveness is to give up the hope that the past could be any different and in managing that, we come to understand the present is all that we have and all that we need. To ensure a future, that encompasses the difference that was hoped for.

They say Forgiveness is to set free a prisoner only to find out that the prisoner was yourself. A prisoner, imprisoned from aligning with their truth. The kind of truth that swooshes past like a warm summer breeze. That whispers in spite of all that hurt you….. there is a part of your heart that remains pure (unblocked), that it is guarded by a part of you that wants to be acknowledged without shame or resistance. 

Only when we do acknowledge it, can we begin to finally heal and be free. Free from our own self judgment that has kept out the loving presence & truth of our soul. 

     ~~~~~~Reflection~~~~~~

After forgiveness, I found disappointment that left me sometimes feeling dejected & sometimes displaced. Some days ok…some days not so.

I prayed, asking Allah to reveal whats of benefit to me. To guide me to the root of what causes me re occurring imbalances and I realised  the feeling of disappointment that plagues my heart, carries a message asking me to acknowledge my truth unconditionally. 

And my authentic truth is that I don’t feel fulfilled. It’s like with this realisation came the death of what once was and the birth of a new adventure. That I don’t feel afraid of embarking upon.

Fulfilment is a gift no one can give you but yourself.  It requires the courage to not settle for anything less than what you know in your heart you deserve and prefer. The gps towards our  fulfilment is planted in the heart. The directions towards it are heard as intuition. 

Disappointment hurts because it is easy for the ego to infiltrate the space it squats in and take us down valleys of blame and judgment. Such valleys aren’t fulfilling when at times the ones we  judge and blame, we also love. (This includes ourselves) our emotional body will always reject falsehood with more feelings of discomfort. Truth settles in the heart, like a gentle swaying leaf lands where Allah willed for it to land. It doesn’t disturb through suffering, it just makes itself known.

We always have a choice to choose our stories, one of my biggest mistakes was to hope for those who I believe cared for me, write one worthy of me. In the parts where they were concerned or involved .

Until one day I realised not everyone who knows your worth also values it and quite often than not, it’s not even intentional not to. There could be distractions that ultimately have nothing to do with you. 

And perhaps that is one of life’s most difficult lessons, that Allah wishes to teach us. I.e Even though our expectations carry some proof of knowledge of our own self worth (as seen through what we expect that we feel is good for us). It also carries proof that we don’t value that good enough ourselves. Enough to give it to our selves, instead of waiting for it from others who either don’t care, or do but are distracted in myriad of ways.

Seeking what fulfils you reminds you to not settle. It is the bedrock of self love because it doesn’t allow you to unconsciously hand over your power by operating from a lack based mentality. A mentality that entraps you in a story where your fulfilment is absent and waited on, for it to be opted in, by others.  

I was guided to transmute the feeling of disappointment, into the authentic truth that I was witnessing unfulfilment. This simple mind shift empowers because it lies the onus of responsibility at your feet. 

Through it we can seek what fulfils us by moving away from what doesn’t first and foremost. The reoccurring imbalances end by one’s moving away from what doesn’t serve them, because what plagues the heart in grief, is given ample room to be healed and what doesn’t serve is always a clue as to what doesn’t fulfil.  

Staying in a vibration of disappointment leads to low vibrational feelings of sadness that the ego steers towards blame and judgment even towards your own self. 

When we acknowledge the deeper truth that a matter isn’t fulfilling. We land in our soul space that has been ready to take responsibility, for our lack of feeling un fulfilled. We align with our soul truth that wants to take us towards the paths that align with our fulfilment. 

If seeking fulfilment empowers, then it is because we are on the right track. It is because we aren’t giving away our power on the journey. It is because we aren’t choosing to let disappointment become our tent or our story.

It is because we are acknowledging our authentic reality, that this matter, this thing, this treatment, this place, this relationship, this job, this thought, this person or this plan, the way all this, currently is…Isn’t fulfilling me, something is missing and that matters. 

Deciding it matters is the essence of stamping value on your hearts resonance. On your needs which ultimately are you. When what matters is realised, so is it’s value. When value is truly acknowledged, your perception and how you move shift.

This spiral of clarity upwards leads to wholeness. If  the destination is wholeness, aligning with what fulfils you is the only way to get there. All other roads are mirages, illusions and ultimately dead ends.

Only you know what fulfils you, don’t deceive yourself. In life if we aren’t shifting due to the truth, we are looping due to unintentional self deception. 

Bitter Truths

I didn’t realise how painful my truth could be until I stopped resisting a crucial one that told me I wasn’t at peace.

I was astonished by how easily my non peace then transmuted into peace, by simply embracing that truth and not resisting it.

I didnt consciously experience true surrender until I emptied out my heart to Allah and the words “I refuse..” came out as I did, only to suddenly see it intercepted with the realisation that I couldn’t refuse what is and so I didn’t and there it was….the light liberating feeling of surrender. Enveloping me with the peace that was blocked out,  by the mental position I was unconciously guarding in matter.

Some days later the transcendence above, ushered me into a new time line where I found & discovered myself carrying a profound truth. One where I knew I loved certain people, whose behaviour I was not enthusiastic about. There is no either or, both state of beings encapsulated my true feelings and that is OK. Yet very telling..

I thought my lack of enthusiasm was a form of judgement at first so I resisted that to, like a void in my heart respect would have otherwise filled. I felt that If I could give meaning to how I felt about another’s behaviour that I wasn’t enthusiastic about, then how I felt would be valid. But how I feel is valid even if my mind has not grasped its reasons fully yet & it can’t until I feed it this new awareness to file in its archive, because the old one was programmed to not register how I feel. 

It’s  not my task to find meaning in what another does it’s my task to discern what it means to me and why, that’s the meaning that matters.  What does it teach me? What can I transcend through it etc

In acceptance & understanding of this, I found a world of clarity behind the lack of enthusiasm I felt because it didn’t mask the love I feel for the other, nor does it wrestle or compete with it. (Unless ego enters equation) All of it just is, Inner turmoil is a result of being pulled apart at the seams of your truth and true harmony is established in the abence of the fragmentation of any part of you. 

This was a truth I struggled to give a home to, a truth i resisted until i had to face the incongruency inside me, that was not willing to give resistance, a home in its place. It was a truth I was consciously embracing holistically.

I may love a person for who they are holistically but my security and wellbeing is my responsibility, to give myself and to maintain in a space that doesn’t hinder how I thrive in doing that in any way. So if you behave in ways that don’t honour or take into considerations my needs as a human being. I have to believe not resist what I feel because the only closure I need is the one I discern for myself. Uninfluenced by my egos judgment of ones actions and unaffected by others lack of understanding towards my discernment itself.

What one needs, respects, holds space for, or resonates with, are all matters dictated by ones  values and heart not intellectualisation of affairs and conditioned mental positions. When you can’t accept your truth, resentment flourishes through blame or judgment and people judge because they are either not standing in their power or are giving it away. In this case their power that would accept what is. 

Bitter truths aren’t the enemy they are  gateways to making informed decisions about what you should sacrifice or prioritise. Your wellbeing shouldn’t be up for negotiation in the former, ever.

I think this is what Maya Angelou meant by “When someone shows you who they are believe them”

Inability to do so, is a result of resistance towards a bitter truth and it’s that resistance that fragments an individual depriving them of inner harmony. There is a conflict within that occurs, that can only be neutralised and stabilised through unconditional commitment to how one feels. 

 

CEO of my Wellbeing

To protect your space (wellbeing) you must first cultivate awareness about what invades it. Then step into your power to embrace it. 

When you don’t you fragment yourself and vital energy that you need to thrive ends up depleted. 

What’s worse you may not even know why you’re frustrated in a moment. Because without awareness your mind is left in the dark intercepted by the ego/false self. That is scrambling for judgment or blame via complaints, because it has to make interpretations that suit its motivation for survival about your experience in some way.

A lot of the time we are aware of major things that affect our wellbeing. Hence why people have boundaries regarding them.

I’ve found the little things we tolerate however  are more consistent and therefore are prone to  yield more frequent invasions of our space.  Reason dictates it should have more attention because it’s through them that the cracks appear (waiting to be seen) in the first place. 

For example it may be easy for someone to  distance themselves from someone who lied to them because honesty is a boundary connected to their values (for obvious reasons) 

What falls through the cracks however, is the truth that, that same person may not have boundaries against energies that don’t uphold their boundary for honesty. So they are akin to tolerate vagueness, lack of transparency and in essence booky/shady behaviour. All of which clearly clog up the stream,their wellbeing is meant to flow through and to (them) in.

This tolerance is an unconscious choice because it’s as though they don’t give themselves the permission to protect themselves; because based on their subconscious beliefs they haven’t caught person out on a lie yet so what they feel otherwise becomes irrelevant. 

What’s worthy to note here is the thought process of doubt that says ‘nothing really happened’ i.e proof of being lied to hasn’t manifested. Is how the ego false self evaluates the external circumstance, to ultimately divert one away from the truth that something is happening inside…..the false self isn’t motivated towards ones wholeness just their survival. 

So ‘nothing happened’  actually means, nothing that upholds the energy of honesty is around you through this person or circumstance & your guidance system (feelings) is telling you via your soul “I don’t need this” “i dont want to engage with this” “this isn’t good for me” 

So in effect something IS happening and it’s something not conducive to your wellbeing, because you ain’t ok with certain energies when it comes around you and that matters. 

Cement the cracks with your truth of that, not debate it because there isn’t yet a fact. Close what invades your space with unconditional commitment to how you feel. Not leave it open because your feelings on their own are deemed unreliable by you yourself or anyone else. 

No one is responsible for your wellbeing but you. That’s why i feel its best to choose resonation over compromise. The former carries no confusion and the latter in this context is akin to the worst connotations that stem from the notion of settlement.

Compromising with energies that don’t uphold the energies that support a boundary is the pathway to getting stuck in comfortable limitations. Which in reality leaves you uncomfortable because it carries the illusion of protection from a set back or loss. In my case fear of getting something wrong were the kind of set backs I’d avoid like the plague. 

What I realised a while ago,is the subtle truth that as the CEO of my life, I’m good with not getting the protection of my wellbeing wrong.

Thats the priority that if & when met, takes care of everything I need. Security comes from within. To give it to our ownselves and not look for it in others behaviours is the pinnacle of being responsible. 

Space Jam

It is often said protect your space from negativity but I feel this can be too vague an instruction to actually yield real results for most; because it can be a struggle to even recognise what’s negative and what isn’t at times.  We are human and have our own unconscious blocks so yes it can be difficult to pinpoint what’s negative in a moment for us in and of itself. Especially when there isn’t a solid or decent relationship with understanding our feelings.

Nothing annoyed me more than generic statements like “block out negativity” “protect yourself from negative people” “declutter your space” sure but what who and how?. I don’t resonate with statements that carry some frantic urge like energy. Like I need to run to or from something.  

It’s easy to underestimate our power of definition and in so doing, we can relinquish this power to societal standards and norms that define things for us without being aware of how it does. The more awareness we gain about ourselves  through what we feel, the more this power of definition becomes like a remote control in our hand that we naturally gravitate towards and explore.

For example I began to feel a lot of inner expansion and space when I defined….

Clearing up tumultuous misunderstandings expressed to me as negative but not in and of itself. I set this as a default rule because I felt it was easier to branch out this way. If it’s defined as negative for me, I then end up with a space where I can sit and discern through the exceptions I’ve made for this rule (I’ll address this more soon.)

Point is the alternative left me scattered and overwhelmed as it was too loose …I needed a structure that put me first and this rule that I can branch out from, provided that. 

I first became aware of this strain that I felt when I found myself cleaning things up. It was confusing at first because I genuinely like to be of help and clarity is something I love. I love safeguarding it from loss, providing it when I have it and want it when I don’t.

When this awareness of the strain I felt slowly became more focused, I began to see it most notable in matters that pertained to one expecting or subjecting others to clean up their tumultuous misunderstandings. Whether one was aware they had one or not is irrelevant as pending task felt the same.

It’s negative because the misunderstandings would be presented by another without taking an active part in the clean up process themselves i.e they don’t hold space for it and if they do, it’s after a lot of stubborn resistance The kind  you also end up ironing out of the way.  

This happens when someone tells you something that doesn’t leave room for other perspectives. Clearly the perspective they have has holes in it and it’s detrimental to their own well being. Yet they want to defend it like their life depends on it.

Cue you entering to clear it up even worse, the person never even asked you too. 

Whats wrong with this picture? 

Aside from the selfishness that you at times assume or at times is true( because even though person didn’t ask you to clean up they want you to) its draining. If you are anything like me your tendency to genuinely prefer clarity to chaos makes you step in to iron out what seems off, from all that you’ve grasped essence wise from matter. 

The problem with this ‘clear up’ is it depletes your energy, especially when you aren’t cognizant of the how’s and whys of its happening.

For the longest time I actually didn’t connect this nor did I even mind doing it (the clear ups I mean) But now with my soul running the show more and more every day.  I have an emotional boundary that I’ve become very cognizant of. The kind that says…..unless I see YOU caring for a clear up, or YOU asked for one or at the very least YOU made it known through your vulnerability that YOU are open to perspectives that may carry one.

I will stare at you and ruthlessly leave you to your chosen path. This takes form in simple ways like a response of “madness….” to a rant made.

I couldn’t do that before, do what? Just witness In stead I would block my soul through my false selves guilt narrative and end up entangled. I couldn’t simply just leave person to it because I would feel for the other and conflate my needs when I did similar things,  with the other persons.  Even though a huge difference existed.  I was that person who would present an energetic signal through my vulnerability…There was a part of me that therefore welcomed a clean up and I appreciated those equipped to provide it mainly because my issue came from a place of hurt. (If I’m just venting you’ll know)

I didn’t care for defence and detest people who view objections as defence in and of itself. (Note: why power of definition is important) 

I define this clearing up of misunderstandings by default of seeing or feeling its existence as negative for me, when the one presenting it, in extreme cases wants to stand there absolved from responsibility to seek clarification and in normal cases leaves it vague enough I end up entangled..  

It’s negative because it requires you to take on a problem that the other persons substance should have a handle on. But they don’t have the substance because at times they may be unconscious of the ego influence, that blinds them to this and in clearing it up for them willingly, you block the individual from seeing their own shadow?  You block them from seeing how the ego keeps them in victim consciousness? Even if you point that out, you engaging in a clear up enables them to stay blocked??

The people vary in needs some do exactly what I’m describing, others don’t intend to but come across that way (so it’s you interpreting matter as is) regardless of the details of what form they appear in or not.

You either are being pulled into what doesn’t serve your highest good or you pull yourself in and resent the other who simply was just venting to you. In any case….

When you stay in your lane you actually help the other person because it exposes them to their own lane. That they refuse to even enter in the first place or aren’t aware is there for them to enter. Ultimately they are exposed to a lane where their substance could be obtained…. The rant dies down, they have exhausted the complaint. You’ve heard them and now a space becomes available where they choose one of two things 

*Ask for clarity through feedback..

Or…

*Leave conversation scratching their own head.

Understanding what serves you and what is in accordance to your highest good. Means to allow the latter to occur and not internalise any discomfort that ensues as a result. Sometimes being authentic means making others uncomfortable. They ain’t uncomfortable with your authenticity but more so the audacity of it and you aren’t uncomfortable because of the other person but more so because you fragmented in moment because you aren’t being authentic.

We live in times where being authentic is…well bizarre. That’s why authenticity is moreso a practice as opposed to something you have or don’t have but I digress…

This cleaning up things that isn’t yours can occur in myriad of ways. It’s easy to fall into and it’s slow poison. That’s why I can only manage it by making it a rule not to….unless (insert the aforementioned exceptions to the rule)

To protect your space you must first cultivate awareness about what invades it. Step into your power of definition to then embrace it. When you don’t you fragment yourself and vital energy that you need to thrive ends up depleted and you are left on a hamster wheel mad at these situations where your energy gets used up. What’s worse you don’t even know at times why you are mad consciously. Without awareness your mind is left in the dark. 

The above results in producing the feeling of anger. A feeling that comes to point out a boundary has been or is in the process of being violated by you or another. If you don’t get to benefit from this guidance and matter concludes itself as a boundary being broken or over stepped. Then your feelings don’t leave you hanging. Resentment follows suit loyally carrying guidance, to show you where you are giving your power away or not standing in it. Feelings guide and become your best friend when you begin to decipher what they mean…

Does not seeing resentment as a feeling that shows you where you are giving your power away or lacking to stand in it, make you look at the feeling differently? More importantly in a way that actually empowers you. As opposed to leaving you feeling powerless which is the default way we are prone to relate to resentment…

Whats astonishing is resentment transmuted becomes wisdom and when left to fester passes the buck back to anger through grudge lol rinse repeat. 

Let your feelings direct you to what matters or behaviours that are negative for you. Others can give you pointers but no one can define this for you and it’s futile to ignore it just because (perhaps) the negativity is or was within you yourself at one point or another albeit in different ways or on different levels. Don’t ignore what can be used to develop awareness that can facilitate growth for you.

Ive never been team no negativity, I’m more team why does this negativity exist?  

Protecting your personal space is one of the greatest personal investments you can make as it is the epitome of self care.  I feel doing it from the inside out yields better more fruitful results

You can make boundaries through speech but those that arise through an energetic shift from within stick and speak for themselves.

Ultimately it provides you authentic space woven through substance. It’s authentic because you yourself are taught not to contaminate it. So it becomes a space that maintains catharsis that allows you to Jam uninhibited.