Recognising the Inner child

Your insecurities reflect what your inner child believes. It’s your inner child that makes you doubt your worth or value because of what he/she believes. 

Sometimes instead of looking within, people look outwardly and project the emotional intensity floating up from their unconscious. That wants to reveal a particular point related to information like this.

If we think the emotional intensity we feel is about the story that caused it to bubble up. We will continue to miss the points that would have led to our illumination about a matter. 

Conversely if we don’t project the emotional intensity, but instead we become emotionally available to ourselves enough to feel it and accept how we feel afterward. We heal and ultimately grow into cultivating  unconditional self acceptance, that establishes good self esteem.

All that we don’t accept are filed away as insecurities. That means self esteem is left injured. Wholesome living can not be attained with out recognising & attending to the one who did the filing… 

Your inner child..

That needs your efforts & attention to turn towards their reality. So that they can be seen heard, nourished and loved.  Rather than subjecting it to disregard and thus further abandonment. Because the ego employs patterns of resistance to keep us away from the  places and spaces our inner child is left to bleed alone or worse hustle for its needs on its own.

 

Internalised Untruths

Emotional abuse has many faces, you’ll miss it most when it’s your own.

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It happens quickly, what’s unfortunate is the domino effect that follows. Thoughts are a vibration so they get met with an emotion upon coming into ‘existence’. When the inner critic re affirms a negative belief you unconsciously hold to be true about yourself. The emotion that meets it, usually grief sadness, shame, guilt or unease. Is enough to paralyse a person into a state of dejection.

Had anyone else said what your own mind said to you about you. You would not remain in their company. It’s emotional abuse pure but not simple. What doesn’t make it simple is the inclination to believe it. Most people identify with their thoughts. They think it’s what they think because they thought it. This is particularly dangerous when it comes to taking the words of the inner critic without question, because those untruths that  it relentlessly shares with you, originated from you.

Thoughts are recycled information from past experiences, with no real base connection to truth always. The mind throws it out most of the time just because, and sometimes because it is what it stored and acknowledged as relevant through previous experience. The intent of the mind is to provide what it has stored, so that you may calibrate it in correlation to the present issue. The mind therefore is meeting its primary function of assisting you to navigate the what is. What’s wrong isn’t what the mind does but what it is given to work with in the first place. This is why it’s said the mind can be re programmed.

The evolution of self from ego to soul space can   not happen successfully without the mind being re trained. It is re trained every time you alter the way you experience what causes you harm. The mind doesn’t discriminate with the information it stores. The more you come from a heart space that resonates with what’s true, the more the mind acknowledges this phenomena and stores its ‘new’ findings. So the next time you experience something pulling you into the low vibrational state of dejection the mind will throw out what it thinks is relevant what it thinks can be calibrated to achieve results that serve your highest good. Your highest good is served when the mind  works in tandem with the heart not in opposition to it.  This team work has the soul at the forefront so harmony is created in the place of imbalance.

Ive seen many types of emotional abuse, but the worst  I’ve ever witnessed because it had  no consequence, even the bare minimum of it being seen for what it is. Is the kind of emotional abuse we subject ourselves to. The kind that comes out of our own mouths against  ourselves. Even if it doesn’t reach the mouth and remains a thought in the head. There is still commitment to it. It’s believed, it receives attentive, active listening and so it wounds, it destroys.

A persons Self esteem is at the mercy of what they do with their own thoughts.

The inner critic or the inner bully only has power to cause harm through ones thoughts because the abuse it spouts is already believed.   The inner critic doesn’t create untruths to emotionally abuse with. It re affirms untruths that are already internalised to be true.

These untruths spoken by our own minds cause worse harm than words spouted by others.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt”  Whoever originally said this was not talking about the inner bully that lives rent free in ones psyche.

Most people have a tendency to call out and usually confront a foul uttered by others. In some cases they even dissect and dismantle the untruth for what it is. This happens based on the feelings felt on account of harmful statements they are subjected to as being the fault of the other. The logic is the other person is responsible for the negative emotions I am experiencing. ( hence the reaction the abuser receives.)

When the abuser is yourself this process  is halted by shame. The untruth is internalised not challenged or confronted or even projected.

The battle within will always be the hardest battle one faces. It is no easy feat by any measure but it’s worth the turmoil if in the process you discover the root of the untruths you’ve internalised. Healing begins as the falsehood that keeps a wound alive dissolves and it dissolves as you begin to look at what you believe and why.

I find looking at the voice of the inner bully/critic as a teacher pointing out a untruth helps greatly. It may have come to re affirm an untruth but through awareness of what it is and what it does, you are in a position to receive, being receptive is a position of power because it connects you back to your only true sense of control, self control. You can choose how to receive the inner critics effort  to harm.  By re defining its presence as a teacher that came to expose an untruth you have internalised as true.

Seeing the voice of the inner bully as clues to untruths you’ve internalised to be true. Can help with growth and healing. When you are present you are in your soul space and your soul isn’t affected by the voice of the inner bully as the soul is motivated towards wholeness because it is created whole.

What came to cause harm can be transmuted into what helps if you precieve what is, from a soul space. If you observe you can feel and when you feel you receive soul perception.

“Actions are powerful, but it’s important to acknowledge so are the emotions. Emotional abuse can be the most painful thing a person can endure. Because it’s abuse of your soul & mind” ~ La Tasha Braxton

It’s abuse of your soul because the untruths of the inner critic attempts to erase your souls potential.  It’s abuse of the mind because it halts it from its original pure function of being of assistance to the soul. Its natural to have a tendency to check what’s outside of us, but not what’s within. Emotional abuse  has many faces, don’t miss it when it’s your own.

 

Deadlock

When you reach an impasse during your growth. It’s easy to scatter your focus by thinking there is some lack blocking your progress. The deadlock is space, its there to weild that scattered focus back to the present moment, where your soul is carrying your substance. The clarity found in that present moment is what ego attempts to deter you from through a siege on your focus.

The goal is to make you avoid feeling your feelings. It came through a spiritual back door because it knows you are committed to your growth and value that integrity remains ensconced in your conscience. The impasse therefore occurs because the ego entered through a ‘spiritual’ back door.

On the one hand you are aware of your heart and intuition telling you to stand still. But on the other there is a strangehold in your energy that doesn’t seem or feel like ego, but is enough to disrupt, you don’t know how to stand still. Confusion penetrates the space where clarity could enter.

Ever ask yourself “what do you mean sit with my damn feelings?” lol it made me think about the shame induced statement “she’s in her feelings” most of us grew up around.

Thats just it lmaoo you need to go in your feelings to feel them. Sitting with your feelings means that. The shame induced statement carried (probably made by someone’s ego and used by ours unconsciously at some point or another ) carries the solution. 

When the ego enters through a back door it’s trying to survive through mimicking your soul. So to navigate the space of deadlock where progress is halted. You have centre back your focus so you use feelings to explore feelings. 

Emotions and feelings aren’t the same thing, emotions are sensations when thoughts occur during an experience. They are physical reactions to your thoughts. Feelings extend beyond the body because it’s a state of conciousness where perceiving occurs. Therefore you can use your feelings to precieve   What’s behind your emotions subhanallah.

This is why when you skip past sitting with your emotions you go straight into addictive behaviours. Meaning your go to reactions when your ego perceives a threat from an experience.  It’s this Impulsive or addictive behaviour ego cultivated and stamped safe most of ones life, that people regret or feel “dirty” about later. That “dirty” or shame like feeling is also carrying guidance to show you that you a) aren’t aligned with your highest self from a soul space and therefore b) you are moving or have moved away from what supports your highest good & self.

When you skip your emotions you go straight into the behaviour that acts out addictions. Emotions that are sat with are emotions that are experienced because they  have been observed & explored. How do you experence it? By not by passing (resisting) how it feels inside your body. I normally do that when I make comments like “wow ok!” In that moment there is something that either hurt, shocked or surprised me uncomfortably. That’s the emotion, it’s waves through my body is what i need to drop  into. Doing that is what leads my true feelings to come through to produce perception from a centred place which ultimately bring guidance. You may slip into your thoughts at some point so it’s important to not beat yourself up, you just drop back in and start again.

Emotions that are experienced are emotions that heal because they have been accepted and so they have organically been allowed to flow unconditionally and transform themselves.

Its during this process that your feelings release the guidance it carries for you. The healing occurs because the thoughts the mind throws out due to an experience dictate vibrations. That vibration is an emotion, when you pause you are sitting with that emotion. You are aware it and the thought that dictated its vibration are not you.  At this point your in a soul space you are witnessing this and exploration becomes in depth the moment you observe and wonder how this emotion feels in your body the emotion thus is consciously  being explored by your feelings.

Emotions  are a part of your feelings but not your feelings in and of it self. Power of Perception & definition has been handed to your feelings not thoughts. So healing occurs. The emotion loses its grip because you’ve let it flow and in doing so experienced it.

Allah placed iman/faith in the emotional body and not psyche for this reason. Through feelings he guides.

“For each one are successive [angels] before and behind him who protect him by the decree of Allah . Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves..” (Quran 13:11)

The angels by his decree protect you as support for your soul, because shaytan through wiswaas supports your ego.

Indeed Allah will not change the condition of person who skipped the very process he would have done it in.

To sit with your emotions is to surrender, doing that reduces and removes resistance, in the absence of resistance you connect with presence to your feelings. That’s how it  directs and positions you to be receptive towards his guidance. 

Allah is so merciful for how he makes things go full circle alhamdulilaah.

Following Triggers Coalesce Mind, Body & Soul.

Triggers are uncelebrated Blessings in disguise. Once a trigger stops having an effect it means healing on the things it occurred through,  has happened. Allah’s timing for things are as perfect as he is, for he is time.

I thought my capacity to visit what triggered  me with an intent to see where healing was still required, somewhat strange. Strange in comparison to avoiding or projecting outwardly, through a compulsion to control the feelings as if it’s the threat or problem (which is what I use to do).

It’s this strangeness that would also lead to my pleasant genuine surprise when the effect of a trigger was gone, and so with it the realisation that so was my interest in matter that bought it up. That surprise was my way of letting what’s new to me, marinate. With all the disconnect with my emotions marination through surprise is how I gave myself a moment to integrate what’s new.

I think once  I understood what triggers stood for I found a new love~ dislike relationship with them. Love because of the healing it came to guide me to and dislike because of its timing sometimes. The dislike part I wasn’t able to trancend till recently.  It happened through rememberance that Allah is time. ‘Able’ kinda credits something to my functioning. Truth is that was his mercy his tawfiiq.

I thought I was strange but I’m grateful Allah guided  me to re define my strangeness as my souls strength.

Fatooba li ghuruba Give glad tidings to the strangers! Or the strange things about you.

Grace & Gratitude

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There is something about seeing the manifestation of something, that was once the source of a reoccuring doubt and anguish with many faces. There is something about this happening that has left  me feeling deep awe and gratitude alhamdulilaah.

I realise as I looked on intuition pointing out “there is the fruit of your hope”

Hope feeling like a tangible thing waving at me. There it was in the moment, asserting its presence amongst this manifested thing, so that I’ll remember…

Remember the nights I cried as my ego told me so many lies. Remember the strains I felt as vulnerability led me into surrender. Remember the subtle ways Allah guided, so that I’ll be of those who are given hope as fuel, lest my heart was ripped asunder.

There is something about seeing such a blessing when you least expect it, that spurs you to go on. Something about Sky not being the limit that replenishes your hope.

Confidence increases when you realise all you have to ever do, all that is ever required of you, is to love your self unconditionally. The rest is Allah’s plan, weaved by his mighty, just and merciful hand. A plan that is for YOU not against you.

The things you doubted you would see you will inshallah, and in ways you never thought you would. Trust in him for the timing is also part of the gift You can only connect the dots when you look back.

Allah’s grace has a purpose that  is to free you so that you be grateful. A gift from him that  assists you in obtaining another gift (gratitude).  The latter strangely is a gift that increases the possibility of you receiving even more gifts when you embody it. He is truly al ghani rich & free from all needs.

Remain steadfast in your hope and faith.  Especially when at cross roads that come up against it. Choose through unconditional self love not fear, the former is a weapon wielded by your soul preserving wholeness. The latter  is a soldier doing egos bidding, so you remain a hostage.

 

 

 

 

Self Mastery

 

“(by) the self and what proportioned it and inspired it with depravity or piety. He who purifies it has succeeded, he who covers it up has failed.” (Quran 91:7-10)

Self mastery is the path that leads to purification from ego (false self) influence. A path that leads to success because through it you self actualise and live comfortabally from a soul space.

Self mastery assists purification because it’s a path that directs you to get to know and confront, then integrate back  with love and understanding, the instrinsic dark parts of your nature. Your nature that you shut down so that life can be comfortable for others. The purification occurs when you learn to get out of your own way.  You get out of your own way only when you see how you are in it, in the first place.  I am not team no negativity, I am…why does this negativity exist? (Ego influence, blind spots etc)

For me piety in the above verse connects to what inspires me towards living through my soul space. Without being concious of Allah when what feels like dark feelings arise, I wouldn’t receive guidance.  Instead I would be engulfed with emotions that seem coated  with shame. The  ego uses these feelings of shame to deface your soul, uses it as confirmation to re assert itself.

When these emotions are covered up via resistance and not felt all the way through, through commitment to self, you fail.

You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself…the height of a man’s success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment. …And this law is the expression of eternal justice. ~Leonardo da Vinci

(Example) Imagine chaining up your firmness because society deemed it unacceptable and showered praise on your empathetic nature.

What if you are both?

To establish justice for your soul you must first trust it. Self trust is what fuels you to push through despite any turmoil you experience or resistance you face when you show up as yourself.

One of the greatest things I could discover is the level of equanimity that comes with the provision guarded by my soul. Ive seen leaks of it in the past sure,  in fact perhaps enough to, not so long ago contemplate about it. Finding acceptance for it by acknowledging it is a quality recognised with admiration by my equals (those who have it) and being patient when it’s  misconstrued by some as being uncaring, unfeeling or worse  not bothered.

Why is the level of my equanimity a great thing to discover?

Because although I knew I had it through soul leaks what I’ve discovered now is the self trust block that kept me at bay from accessing it fully. I didn’t know there were levels to this ish within me.

When something isn’t accessed fully, then you’ve only been made privy to certain levels of it.

I don’t believe we can ever establish justice for our soul,  if we remain hellbent on denying it the right to live freely with the provisions Allah allocated to it.  Hellbent albeit unconsciously, in denying it to live freely without micromanaging it.

Committing to mastering the self is therefore simply committing to establishing justice for your soul.

Its about committing to not just over coming a fear by going through it or simply transmuting things you feel/experience. But rather getting to know that part of you that met that fear and that part of you that felt what’s in your highest interest to thereafter transmute.

Trying to over come or rushing to transmute is to take a short cut based on established collective understanding of what’s good for you. Or simply just what’s good.

It separates you from self trust because your personal way understood by your soul, is contradicted by a well trodden path that’s vouched for. By societal frameworks concocted through values and principles you didn’t even get to have any input on.

Aligning with self trust would therefore often pit you against what’s conventional. Although that has never been an issue for me (I always felt pride in being unconventional in my own way especially when reflected back to me by my mirror soul)  what’s important to know is, total alignment with self trust requires immense patience and courage.

Patience to accept what is, to trust yourself to stand in your truth even if it threatens your false self created by ego. Courage to pause when you witness the threat trying to hijack the space where you intended to show up with your truth.  Courage that uses the pause to reflect and proceeds to face the fear head on.

If you confront what agonises or attempts to intimidate then you are courageous.

Patience and courage thus are key players in maintaining  self trust. Without them you wouldn’t trust yourself to walk with hope or faith cultivated in you by Allah. In order to provide his help and mercy for you on this path. Faith  in trusting  things unfold according to divine will is paramount. Through  divine will you are never erased but on the contrary considered and protected.

One of the biggest reasons people struggle with self trust, is due to second guessing themselves in case they get or do something or someone wrong.

This is a struggle because often people who care for the above were denied the experience of normalcy in making a mistake.

Self mastery is the result of an evolution, that takes one from navigating through the clutches of ego to reaching a place of living directed by ones soul.

A place that requires a shift in the care that results through lack of self trust.  To care that is now aligned with self trust.

This is a major pillar of ones soul structure, the shift of care now aligned with self trust means you navigate through unconditional self love.

You unconditionally maintain love for yourself even if a decision you made turned out to be wrong or worse ended up doing another wrong.

I think it was my separation from that,  that had me attract into my life people that would reflect this very issue back to me.

Some of the greatest lessons we learn,  bear the greatest rewards not just because the pain behind it might have been great. But because of the blessing sealed in the reward.

The gift of self trust is worth turmoil. There is also something poetic about getting it back through the same thing that “took” it.

Self mastery is the key that opens a gate Allah provided as grace. For all those committed to knowing their true essence come what may. It is a gate that upon opening not only leads to your natural disposition, but it ensures you know what you have accessed contains your full potential.

Self mastery is therefore not only necessary, but thee path itself, if self actualisation is the goal. Only through the path of self mastery can you find,  recognise and be able to use your potential in ways that fulfil you and others. That is what it means to have self actualised.

You live and manifest in peace through self mastery. The world begins to reflect back to you what assists your wholeness not what confirms the egos narrative. Because you no longer tread paths that deter you from love of self but rather walk paths that align with self love. So even if in some situations the world reflects back to you ignorance.

It’s Qalaa salama!

This world isn’t free from ignorance after all, that’s only in paradise. So Allah will always check one set of people by means of another.

Mastering yourself doesn’t mean you manage to get to categorically avoid BS. It just means you do not become entangled with or engulfed By its effect.

Through thorough familiarity with your mental and emotional strengths. You acquire discipline that conquers your nafs.

“Self-mastery is the challenge of transforming yourself from own worst enemy into your greatest ally.”  ~ Wes Fesler

When you are your greatest ally you make decisions stamped through self trust that support what’s in your highest good.

When the energies  in a present moment are really intense, in connecting the dots as you look back you will understand why.

Intense energies are paving way for immense blessings.  Trust your soul that trusts the process, not the ego that feels victimised by it.

 

 

 

Entrance of the False self

How can you spot where you’ve set up a false self? How do you know where remnants of its existence, still make an appearance in your life?

By looking closely at the things  you fear negativity can be attached to.  Those aren’t your fears, it’s your false selves.  That fear is an indication of where a false self version of you is making an appearance in a present moment.

The fear in the above mentioned context  is a sign of the carbon monoxide your false self is breathing out. If your soul isn’t breathing in a moment, your false self is. They can not both take oxygen simultaneously (metaphorically speaking)

Remove a false self layer by acknowledging  how you feel. Especially acknowledge & state  how you feel when a fear arises of you being perceived as negative because of it.  Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter in the grand scheme of things don’t mind. 

Peoples intent are not your business, that is a matter in the jurisdiction of Allah. What is your business is the effect.

Allow your feelings to point out to you where a boundary is crossed. To stifle how you feel because it would be judged as being negative. Is to allow a false version of you to appear that gives no significance to a violated boundary. When a boundary is violated it is you who is summoned to know first not the one doing it.

In that moment you go one of two ways, self abandonment or self love. Choose self love, No one can  warp your reality or disable your truth but you.

Sometimes it takes a long time for one to see just how much they’ve  violated their own boundaries. How much they’ve  abandoned themselves. Because that false self version is in the way, perpetuating the very blind spots that ensure their self abandonment and poor boundaries persist. 

I have a false self present when I tip toe around someone’s feelings. I then feel angry when I see my own is shown no consideration. These people only reflect back what you do to yourself. 

Anger isn’t negativity it’s an emotion highlighting self abandonment or lack of boundary, Sometimes both.

Ironically what your false self feared about being judged as negative, and what your true self leaks by way of anger that communicates you are out of alignment, in the end may get the same label of being negative put on them. Some people often need an exit to avoid responsibility. They sometimes have no qualms about taking one that blames you.

If you stay true to yourself and in alignment with speaking your truth. Your soul doesnt get the same wrap as your false self. And even if it does your soul remains composed as it is aligned with self trust.

In embracing your shadow you find strength through your unconditional self love because you’ve aligned it with unconditional self acceptance.

In assuming your firm side is harmful you fragment yourself.

You are not a buffet presented  to be nit picked from, you are a 3 course meal meant to be digested  with acceptance and love.

Do it first yourself.