I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.” ~Charles Cooley

The greatest gift you can give yourself is to take back your power of definition. The perception you have of yourself relies heavily on how you define things. How are you defining things? Is it based on a system of unconditional self love that houses your own values. Or a system of doubt that houses that of others?

If you have in any way let the opinions, truths, values and expectations of others guide or worse manage your reality. You need to take back your power of definition. Relinquishing that unconsciously is the root of the problem. A problem that can take years or even the good part of a life time for some to discover.

Your reality doesn’t hinge on things outside of you, if your heart doesn’t absorb something, it doesn’t. You can’t force it and you shouldn’t want to. Let the chips fall how it may, any cognitive dissonance that arises is Allah teaching you self trust. Your heart is your northern star not someone else’s listen to your own. Trust your own truth of who you are. Are you someone who has no agenda with truth? Are you someone who doesn’t lie to themselves and is open to growth however difficult? If yes then trust your heart and what it absorbs and doesn’t absorb .

Power of definition rests on trusting your hearts resonation. Especially when something is amiss, trust it even if it causes you turmoil. Clarity comes at dawn. leave the details behind implications of doing that, alone. The devil is in the detail for a reason, to get entangled in making sense of things, is how you lose your way to begin with.

We each have a system inside us that is sufficient to individually govern us. It’s unlocked by a key of self trust. A key you can’t access without unconditional self love.

Instead of scanning for an error in yourself as you are accustomed to. Trust your heart when it lovingly throws a middle finger up i.e when it stands firm against all odds. When it contradicts what you once held close. Firmness that doesn’t separate you from love is steadfastness.

Power of definition remains intact and whole when you let your heart define what is. Take off the lens that diverts you from stepping into your power of definition. It’s the mother of illusions. It Keeps one stuck in what was, as they miss what is. What is, is not threatened by what was. Not unless you are intolerant of the ebbs and flows of life.

Allah steps in where you Lag behind

When someone is tested with dealing with doubts, they are inclined to believe or take on board what you present depending on where they’ve placed you. They may do that because they aren’t threatened by your heart. They park what’s said instead of throwing it away  as their journey was about self trust in themselves not trust about you.

They aren’t inclined to reject or resist without understanding.  Which is what gets things complicated when the person is being taught how to spot the difference between the soul of a person, that their heart trusts and their human self that is imperfect in what it sometimes does.

This is an important distinction to make and when you can’t due to doubts, you conflate matters and end up holding space for shit that don’t serve you. Anger is a feeling pointing out to you a boundary is violated or about to be. Shame is another feeling pointing out, how you are veering of course and where you should pause to realign yourself with your souls truth.

When you struggle to make the distinction above. You are at risk of failing to make or enforce boundaries you need. This is why Allah intervenes and removes people from ones life. He is doing what they couldn’t so that they may hop off the hamster wheel through divine mercy. They can connect the dots when they look back,  after taking the lessons required from situations..

My doubt blocked me from doing what I needed at times because of how I compartmentalised my needs with that of others. (You  make sacrifical your own, when a need for sacrifice comes up) I don’t resent those that I did that for anymore. At the time I thought they deserved it through how I read my compassion or care. I was wrong and that’s ok.