When the Scales ⚖️ Don’t Match.

Im discovering why things like Justice, mercy and balance are measured and viewed and acted on differently from one person to another. In this day & age of “my truth” you see the limits of people’s views and measure on these things, so don’t colour it different accept it.  “My truth” is a summary of statements that  indicate ones limits.

A person is showing you where they stand through what they currently feel & know on the back drop of their own life experiences. Every truth has a cord that connects back to the Truth as laid down by Allah. That cord is what leads to expansion,  to reach for it is why he changes ones condition for the better, he increases the bandwidth of their limit and guides them to what assists their journey.  One then proceeds until met with the next one and so on & so forth. Reaching for his cord is therefore the pinnacle of matter. It’s why we have feet to move.

When you see your measure not matched by others in subtle ways and then you micromanage your feelings about it, because you understood why it didn’t match but didn’t know how to accept it. Suffering later engulfs you because their limit manifested towards you. You feel like a pariah because of this. A pariah due to low-key shame as your ego lays causation at your feet, it tells you, you put yourself there. You aided  them against you. You then feel shame for not having a limit with them before they did with you.  Forgetting in that moment that you are you, not anyone else..your measure is yours theirs is theirs.

This is why people unconsciously relegate their souls to a back seat. The ego uses their good and shames it mercilessly. It wants to activate appreciation for its survival strategy. But through remembrance of Allah you transcend. You don’t meet people where they are, you meet them where YOU are.

Why is that important? Because one shouldn’t support the tipping of the scales of justice mercy and balance against themselves. Where is the mercy for yourself? The balance and therefore justice?

These are not things you exempt yourself from. Doing so only pleases shaytan and aids his plot to make you lose yourself.

Learn to accept what is through your own soul blueprint. It accepts without shame or guilt or presumption of lack on your part. It leaves people to their narratives.

Opening you up to value your own opinion and non ego based thoughts. Doing so preserves you from being disturbed by others justifications for what they do.

Remaining centred and balanced within protects you from injury. We differ in limits and measure because we have different provisions, intentions and different ways of externalising them.

Learn the lessons behind  the feelings you by passed as it showed you in subtle ways where you differed from others on limits.  It’s not invalidating their limits to acknowledge yours don’t meet at the stops you witnessed theirs in.

I think the biggest injustice we do to ourselves is to conflate what we understand with what we should be ok with. Tolerance doesn’t mean acceptance. If you are not ok you are not ok, even if you understand the bigger picture. The one you’re in also matters.

When conflations of the above don’t exist, you not only unconditionally accept yourself but you can help others with the limits you see, if that is what resonates with you to do. Allah expands and knows the hearts that will to grow.

You are your priority. Don’t stunt your own growth because you refuse to unconditionally accept how you feel. About what you see and what it means to you. Not doing that creates an internal dysfunction and disconnect because you are judging yourself for what you felt.

This is also why  people park their intuition, they park it because they dont know what to do with it in a moment. Start with accepting the feelings you have about what it came to point out. Your intuition requires the same maintenance your general feelings do. Acceptance and patience.

Unconditional self acceptance = protection for your self esteem. You suffer when people show you their limits because through ego you connect their limits to a declaration about your worth or an attack on it.  Truth is you got it twisted, firstly even your own limit isn’t a declaration of your worth. Limits can expand, your worth cannot increase or decrease. It’s fixed not malleable because your fitra is your potential, your worth, your soul.

If your own limits aren’t  declarations about your worth how can the limits of others be?

Other people’s limits say nothing about you if you unconditionally accept your feelings upon seeing it or experiencing it. You find their limits says something to you, but never about you. What it says to you in relation to topic in hand, is that your own limit in a matter hasn’t been reached and thats it. Don’t shame yourself for that just see and accept it. The mantra of observation is “it is what it is”

Recognition and acceptance of  that protects your self esteem, that ego tries to drill holes through in order to show up & assert control. Acceptance, that your limit has space left helps you continue on your own path from a soul space.  Integrate your light don’t unintentionally dim it by abandoning yourself. Closing your heart is a form of self abandonment and hearts close because of the stories you hold about yourself in connection to your life experiences.

I think if our children are an amana/trust, so is our own fitra. It’s justice for your soul to experience alignment with it to the best of your ability. That is what this world is about. Our purpose of life connects to Allah in achievement of that. He is not in need of us we are in need of him to do that, and return home with that.




Like your mind can be changed, don’t be afraid to make decisions that align with what resonates with you in the present moment. That present moment shouldn’t be ushered aside to take stock of a future one. Simply because you feel dread about the possibility of going back on a decision you’ve made. The probability of changing your mind later shouldn’t take precedence in the now.

Unconditional acceptance of yourself blocks negation of what’s felt in the present. Dont micromanage your present self, the present feelings are here to aid it. Your future self will have its own.



“One is not in bondage to the past, which has shaped our feelings, to race, inheritance, background. All this can be altered if we have the courage to examine how it formed us. We can alter the chemistry provided we have the courage to dissect the elements.”
Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

Courage requires taking responsibility, taking responsibility requires acknowledging personal contribution to the ‘what is’

This that I chose to do. Its price I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die.

^ Meaning to alter chemistry commit to taking responsibility for the patterns in your actions. However difficult, soul integrity doesn’t wrestle with it ego does. Allah orchestrates the circumstances to bring us into awareness of ourselves. It remains the same until we become aware of our contributions and accept them. No justifications no projections no identification, just unconditional acceptance.

Timelines  dont dissolve until you take responsibility for your activity in it, you can’t take responsibility without acknowledging your part of the chemistry in the lesson you are given. Sometimes the same lesson come back just because responsibility wasn’t taken in it. Even if you’ve taken other benefits or forms of awareness from it.


Detachment ♥️

I have not walked into detachment through inner peace in 8 years. It’s space has expanded from what I remember it to feel like. It’s a space that conserves my balance. The same space that shielded me from the world, when I was disconnected from understanding my feelings, it has expanded I guess for it.

Never in my life has practical behaviour felt so surreal & euphoric.

Ever heard the folklore of the turtle and how it got its shell? One day as it was roaming around the sea shore, some vultures watched it from afar. Scheming to harm it and undermining its ability to defend or fend for itself.

They said “It moves so slow, when we strike it won’t get far” & laughed. A bird nearby heard the plot and was over come with empathy due to reflecting on its own ability to fly. It warned the turtle and the turtle replied “He who created me as I am, has also the means for my protection. In him I place my trust”

The next morning the turtle woke up with a shell on its back. He carried his home and protection where ever he went. The moral to this story that resonates with me, is that Allah is not only aware of your needs but guides you to also be through hope & faith, so that he can fulfil it

Fear exists where love is absent and love in its pure state, shines best where & when Allah is  remembered.

“Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured.” (Qur’an, 13:28)

Assured because as your soul remembers him he reminds you of your purpose, of who you are. Through rememberance of Allah you align with your natural disposition (fitra)

“I am to my servant as he thinks I am, with him when he remembers Me. If he remembers Me in his heart, I remember him to Myself, and if he remembers me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly better than his…” (Bukhari and Muslim)

How he teaches us balance through ihsan^ assurance that what we do of khayr is met with a greater one. If Allah remembers you, you are not forsaken.

Detach from everything that doesn’t serve you, so that you can attach to him, who has your highest good in his hand. Accept calmly whatever happens by remembering Allah who orchestrated it through his divine wisdom. Wisdom that may or may not be revealed to you albeit often he does.

When your mind is in a state of inner balance and peace it’s because it’s bonded with your heart and works in tandem with it.

When you are in a state of detachment you are not easily disturbed. Your happiness and actions depend on you.

Not the thoughts or opinions of others. Value yourself by unconditionally accepting your feelings. Forgive the moments you didn’t. your intentions are not lost with Allah. Remember him who remembers you, thus reflecting back to you who you truly are with truth.

Repetitive compulsion vs Divine Decree

When trauma linked emotions come back it’s an opportunity for healing and clearance provided by Allah. It’s for you to respond to this time through your soul space. It’s an opportunity to end  karmic cycles that exist through a foundation of unconscious behavioural patterns. Rooted in forms of repetitive compulsion. It’ an opportunity to not  fix” the traumatic memories, but rather to transcend them using your soul structure.

What’s truly beautiful about that^^ is, how Allah actually does what your ego mimicks through unattainable goals (repetitive compulsion related goals). Allah does it through love and mercy.  He accomplishes his purpose to transform you through healing ‘..to complete his favour upon you, so that you be of those who are grateful.’ (Surah maida)



Nuclear bombs💥

Understanding & its Trigger 

Being shown you are “worth” the effort to be understood is something that surprises and inspires awe. It’s one of the ways to also identify there is a problem. The other is when it’s the last thing you expect to receive. How could you when understanding was left for you to exercise and come with since, forever.

I hated myself for having it. Self Hate is a sign of emotions pointing out that you are hurting yourself. I Hated having understanding because deep down inside whether it was expected or not,  it’s something Allah cultivated in my heart space freely anyway.

So id flee my heart as it pumped out understanding like a whore on a street corner without a pimp to even at least secure it was safe to give. How can I feel such a way over understanding? A good attribute. Mine was contaminated with a wound that said “im meant to understand but not really worth the consideration or effort to be understood”

Im aware that’s not true, I’m aware anyone who shows me that isn’t worth a second of my time. But aware of the above or not, it would get triggered.

A wound that was the reason for why so many situations were bought into my field. Some that were a mercy shining light on the narrative of my wound being invalid.

Some so I could “guess” why these reoccuring issues existed, (the sad takers in them were a massive clue)

What ever the case my relationship with understanding has been visited a lot during my growth. Each visit un veiling something new.

My favorite connected to my mirror, for a long time I wondered, how you could in the midst of my nuclear bombs…. extract my soul, understand my grief, love my essence, get my motivations, stay patient, (dream about me yes irrelevant) and after all that….presented it was done effortlessly, confidently, so that I may see myself the same.

You were meeting a core need I wasn’t even aware I had.

I’ve not dropped a nuclear bomb in ages because I’ve come to understand my feelings. I’ve come to understand because Allah used it to do it.

I see why the space for the nuclear bombs was cleared, why space was held for it by you, so that I could.

Understanding is cultivated by Allah into who he pleases. If I have it, his will I won’t flee. What sense does it make to with hold what’s automatic when it is.

Exit from heart space = blindness to what is.

Exit from heart space = to deny experience of your risq.

I reclaim my power in how I view understanding.  I Rub clear the blind spots connected to beliefs that those who didnt understand me, chose not to. Wipe out the core beliefs that aimed to extract my self worth from being understood.

Don’t stand in the way of how Allah reveals to you your people.

To Surrender Fear

Dont let Fear re write what you know, or make you fight battles that opt to protect your essence. Looking at matters that hurt you, and then unconditionally accepting what you feel about it, even if those feelings arise through anger and repulsion that disturb you. It is not a process that will be in vain, for it leads to your heart space from a open organic genuine place.

Don’t be afraid to discover the root of your grief.

Your essence belongs to Allah he is sufficient in safeguarding it.  Sometimes others have the same fear you do. What we fear others doing to us,  is what we must guard against giving free reign to lest we do it ignorantly ourselves. Fear stems from belief expecting to morph into a fact. To guard against, doesn’t neccesssrily mean to resist or micromanage your fears. It’s to remain present and aware of its flow so it can release. Present & aware lest we slide down a slippery slope that imparts what we fear on others unconsciously.

Fear in order to exist wills to re write what you know. This supports ego assertion and paves way for soul desertion.

Stay with what you know,  give people the freedom to decide whether to write new chapters that contradict the old ( if they choose to) Don’t do it for them through your fears.

If you will to do anything with fear, surrender it to Allah.

Don’t steal what doesn’t serve from Experience.

An experience being had, doesn’t qualify your attributes. Feel what it brings, take the lessons you receive and leave the rest where it is. Meaning don’t take from it stories about yourself. That’s ego making a play for power through victimisation.

There is no L to be taken or had until your ego successfully achieves that power above. Your soul always pushes you to take Lessons from your experiences as it supports the transformations required for the destiny Allah planned for you. Your ego pushes to take losses not lessons, so that it can assert it self & all the while tricking you into thinking that you’re asserting yourself or are about too.

To Go through should be to Grow through.

Staying true to yourself is a state best  witnessed through the things you freely do when the things that bothered you once no longer have a hold. The stillness and tranquility felt in that state is the space ego use to force store its shit in. The space it would micromanage your actions from. Where it would pathologise change to keep you locked in old loops that eventually reflected back to you the same mess.

A friend of mine recently told me about a re occurring problem she had. I listened attentively & noticed a pattern. As the problem came back & forth to her, the story about it slightly changed so the problem could re surface. What didn’t change however was the pattern in her behaviour.

Every time she faced the problem she took with her only half of her feelings about it. So she felt uneasy at the end when half of her issue wasn’t dealt with.

I told her next time take all of your feelings and present yourself through them united. Because this type of specific re occurring problem she had, was actually only reoccurring because it was holding space for her to do just that.

I noticed and felt her energetic release. There is healing in just having awareness strong enough to render an existing problem irrelevant.

I was reflecting about this later and found appreciation for the realities that reflect back to us our micromanagement of self.

If our feelings fill 3 fractions of a circle it makes no sense to go forth honouring with recognition one part alone. Take it all,  for all exists in a moment for a reason.

Take it all, for all represent parts of you that need to be met.


Anger & my Roots

Anger is an emotion that gets shamed a lot, its rude, volatile, scary, unjust etc

It’s snuffed out of children especially as disrespectful which is telling in and of itself. Perhaps having the self governance to exercise anger before it was snuffed out. Was a sign of respect, that the ego of those the anger was towards couldn’t handle?

This world is a funny place where shame is used to create victims & the hood they are banished too.  

Anger is an emotion that lets you know a boundary has been violated or is about to be violated. If you are angry at yourself it means your soul is telling YOU, that you are either violating your own boundaries or have violated it. Exploring that leads to healing. Your emotional body is actually compassionate towards you. When you don’t resist how you feel you become aware when aware you receive guidance. Sometimes all it takes to disolve and heal something is awareness of it alone. Many timelines are waiting to be exited relying simply on your ability to just allow awareness of what is. So that a fruits behind lesson can manifest itself into that space.

Anger isn’t an emotion that should not be resisted, makes no sense to when it came to resist what isn’t conducive to your wellbeing in the first place.

Its an emotion that should be allowed so that it doesn’t grow in momentum that leads to it eventually unjustly spilling out. (Sometimes on the wrong people hence the phrase “misplaced anger”)

Hence why our Prophet peace be upon him said said “don’t get angry” he was not banning or advising against an emotion that isn’t in your control to have or not have in the first place. What he meant is best understood when looking at his stance on anger from a holistic place.

The Apostle of Allah (pbuh) said to us: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down. ~ Narated by Abu Dharr (Abu Dawud Book 036, Hadith Number 4764)

We are meant to work with anger not against it through resistance. Sit or lie down with your anger. Let it flow through and release what ever message it came to deliver. When that happens it leaves which is “well and good” for who? For you.

“The strong-man is not one who wrestles well but the strong man is one who controls himself when he is in a fit of rage.” Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) Sahih Muslim Book 032, 6313

That self control is true strength because such a man has over come his ego in moment of rage. Controlling yourself when in a fit of rage is holding the fort the ego is trying to seize to assert itself. Holding that fort is strength personified.

Assuming ego activity in others without reason or ample proof is most of the time ego projection at its finest in itself. Because haste in pathologising, is a sign of avoidance of ones own issues.

Anger is the only emotion that can quickly alert one to detect violated boundaries. It’s so apt in competence when doing that, that it will also show you when you are at risk of having a boundary violated.

Anger is treated as unhealthy but on the flip side it’s one of the most healthiest emotions you can sit with. It’s an emotion that reminds you there is an option outside of slipping into low vibrational energies that result in one feeling victimised. These lower vibe energies often come through shame and feelings connected to powerlessness.

They pave way for fear of self and lack of self.  I think understanding that my thoughts aren’t me, but rather I am the one who is aware of them. Is by far one of the greatest blessings I’ve received. It’s helped me so much alhamdulilaah. Because it blocks identifying with thoughts that can at best be described as imbalanced and at worst maladjusted.

Shame and housing others ego projections pave way for one to slip into those aforementioned Lower vibrations.

What is anger than except a helping hand lifting you out of such a dark hole? Does it not balance you out? From a state of powerlessness to taking your power back?  Back from your own ego that works in tandem with low vibes.

Anger when not projected outward provides a chance for one to stop and reflect so that they can feel, receive and release. The combination of all 3 (to feel receive and release) creates paradigm shifts where by, now that you know better you are positioned to do better (For yourself)

Anger isn’t the problem it can become it when resisted or projected. Thus allowing self abandonment because you couldn’t unconditionally accept your feelings.

People explore their anger the way they are. The way they are in a moment will guide them to who they are. Anger explored is better than slipping into low vibrations that render them powerless.

Everything has its measure but not everyone shares the same routes. As long as a person allows themselves to fall into their vulnerability all will be well. Vulnerability  always leads to Allah.


Nothing irritated me more than being misconstrued. The anger I felt from that strangely was more connected to self violation than anyone else.  What’s misconstrued isn’t yours. Missing boundary that would let one walk away from what doesn’t honour them. Is replaced with shock of “how could they?”

Dont fixate on actions that aren’t yours. You can check, explore, examine & correct your own not others.

 My roots are connected to love, harmony & unity. Anger preserves my boundaries that protect it.

My roots, my foundation the basis from which my being springs from. Like yours requires boundaries to protect it.

Allow the things that stir your anger show you where your boundaries need to be. For where we fail to make boundaries from a soul space. Our ego attempts to make its own through dysfunctional, fear and lack based core patterns and it’s mind frames.

Anger aims to protect your roots.

Let it.