“When you get out of the driver’s seat, you find that life can drive itself, that actually life has always been driving itself. When you get out of the driver’s seat, it can drive itself so much easier—it can flow in ways you never imagined. Life becomes almost magical. The illusion of the “me” is no longer in the way. Life begins to flow, and you never know where it will take you”
Triggers are uncelebrated Blessings in disguise. Once a trigger stops having an effect it means healing on the things it occurred through, has happened. Allah’s timing for things are as perfect as he is, for he is time.
I thought my capacity to visit what triggered me with an intent to see where healing was still required, somewhat strange. Strange in comparison to avoiding or projecting outwardly, through a compulsion to control the feelings as if it’s the threat or problem (which is what I use to do).
It’s this strangeness that would also lead to my pleasant genuine surprise when the effect of a trigger was gone, and so with it the realisation that so was my interest in matter that bought it up. That surprise was my way of letting what’s new to me, marinate. With all the disconnect with my emotions marination through surprise is how I gave myself a moment to integrate what’s new.
I think once I understood what triggers stood for I found a new love~ dislike relationship with them. Love because of the healing it came to guide me to and dislike because of its timing sometimes. The dislike part I wasn’t able to trancend till recently. It happened through rememberance that Allah is time. ‘Able’ kinda credits something to my functioning. Truth is that was his mercy his tawfiiq.
I thought I was strange but I’m grateful Allah guided me to re define my strangeness as my souls strength.
Fatooba li ghuruba Give glad tidings to the strangers! Or the strange things about you.
The Drowning can’t ‘save’ the Drowning
Without mutual acknowledgment and empathy of struggles in a given matter. Otherwise one unconsciously expects things exclusively that another requires themselves. This expectation puts the onus of lack on the other and alludes one to the unfairness in the imbalances that birth it. The same nurturing of vulnerability, the same quality in understanding, patience, trust and love one seeks and needs, to not see how another does to, isn’t something I can work with and I embrace that with unconditional love and understanding for myself and all that I feel. Not doubt about and identification with what is.
To not acknowledge how nurture is required equally is the root of disconnection. It paves way for the one onus is indirectly put on, to do to themselves what the other avoids doing to their own soul so as to self actualise in peace.
So people are lovable if they bow down to serve others and put on hold what their own growth requires. Because If they ain’t serving in ways pleasing or safe to another than there is a flaw in them that must one get away from.
Love can become service to ego, when you can’t see the imbalances above. Imbalances in how one measures or judges it.
Love for me isn’t a choice it’s a matter of the heart with its own will as directed by Allah. It isn’t something you can deny.
To assume one to be cut off from love for you or lacking in being present with it. Is to conflate ones present focus during trying times, as they swim and prioritise themselves, with your own fears.
The true test for holding space for peoples feelings and having loving trust of and for them is in how you maneuver with your own when theirs confront it because of something you did because of your perception of what they did.
I don’t understand much, what I do understand is what makes someone not see all of what’s said above. That’s my love.
“To the righteous it will be said, “O reassured soul, return to your Lord, well-pleased and pleasing [onto Him]…enter among my [righteous] servants..enter you, My Paradise”
I think if our children are an amana/trust, so is our own fitra. It’s justice for your soul to experience alignment with it to the best of your ability. Ultimately that is what this world is about. Our purpose of life connects to Allah in achievement of that. How you with stand the toil & trouble that involves that. Our purpose of life is to worship him, so we are not cut off from what helps us on this journey back to our natural disposition. He is not in need of us or our worship. We are in need of him and it, to do that, and return home having benefited from that.
When you are distracted from preserving your own heart. Allah does it for you. This is why doors you insist on walking through close on you. What you feel, all of it, are guiding you to what you weren’t doing that Allah does for you.
To sit through such feelings is difficult because you are walking through the effects of the wounds, that hold up the very veils preventing you from seeing the distractions for what they are.
Allah wills to give you sight where you are blind.
To let go means to release the need to know why, because Allah knows best. Letting go is difficult for most because they don’t decipher how they aren’t letting go because of that reason. A fog of wounds act as a cover for that resistance. That fog keeps their vision imprisoned for as it fights, it holds their attention away from what’s pertinent. Anything that holds no matter what that thing is, means you haven’t let go.
Let go the need to know why, for Allah who does know is your ally. Fan the fog used by the wound, with self compassion and presence. Its what provides harmony through his light when you are being tested.
Not knowing the reason behind a test is part of its custom. In the now as you look on get to know, how the statement ‘I don’t know‘ is part of getting through.
The surest road one takes brings them to a place, where only when they give up, does truth make itself clear. When you give up you’ve shown up and that’s when truth appears.
To let go the need to know why, is to be led by hope into having faith in the answers Allah supplies.
Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
To be led by the dreams of your heart, don’t be pushed around by the fears of your mind. Treat your dreams like the food you need to eat. Acknowledged and reached for every day and preserved with purity.