The Jump off

“Having full faith is knowing that when Allah takes away the umbilical cord he will replace it with milk” ~ Yasmin mogahed 

Ive been contemplating about faith lately by observing first all of the fear based illusions that attack it. I’ve noticed how when the attacks up the ante there are parts of our psyche along with our  heart,  that counter attack fear to assist us. I understand why the heart would, what surprised me is the minds help since the fear based illusion also stemmed from there.

Such is life that good and bad can branch out from the same place. So stand alone statements such as the mind supports or the mind antagonises……prove only one thing in the end and that is that a momentary experience factualised on mere ground of occurrence, can not be held as holistic truth. In doing so then at least know that facts can be misleading. The same mind that reasons also pushes out illusions & distortions.

Every one has a struggle with trust, one way or another. There are the general kind of struggles, that have momentum based in natural anticipations of what’s desired. This general kind carries light somatic experiences like nerves as opposed to heavy ones like shame.

The true struggle in trust occurs when you are in the abyss of the unknown. When your fear of loss is activated because there is a deep attachment to outcomes. When there are fear based illusions that create resistance to your flow. In fact so strenuously that projecting safety in the unknown in such moments feels like surgery without  anesthetic. 

This type of struggle can go on for a long time because the true test in the struggle is left unrealised. You experience extreme highs when you experience things in support of your desired outcomes and extreme lows when you don’t.

Allah is meticulous in how he orchestrates the test for you,  so the highs and lows are not exactly things you can place firmly in a box and diagnose cognitively. They stand as juxtaposes that drive you insane. Why? Because both your positive thinking and negative thinking rely on it to make its case.

Your feelings try to point out to you that this isn’t right, so you think it’s to do with matter and abandon ship because the matter low-key becomes the enemy to your peace. Your soul pulls you back in and so you lean on positive thinking only for the highs and lows to begin again.

Your feelings point out over and over again that this isn’t right and thus the cycle repeats itself. You’re on a roller coaster stuck in a never ending dynamic of sorts. Misinterpreting your reality because you misread the true guidance your feelings carried all along.

This isn’t right” is and always was in relation to the path not matter in and of itself.  The matter is what you desire, what you desire is rooted and nourished in the heart and co signed by the wholeness carried by your soul. The heart is between the fingers of the divine, meaning out of your control.

So when you find yourself stuck in stalement in a dynamic you know isn’t congruent to your over all wellbeing. When on a roller coaster that eventually makes you hop off feeling sick. Look at your feelings and apply its guidance to the path instead of matter.

As Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results

Change course, don’t erase a part of yourself by making “it’s not right” about the matter. Make it about the one thing you are in control of and that is the path you took, the path you’re on. 

Look at all the ways in how that is not right and you will stumble upon discoveries you can not ignore.

Is the path to following your hearts desire a path in alignment with self love i.e are you speaking your truth and standing in your power. Are you unconditionally honouring your needs and accepting your feelings with out by passing or micromanaging them?   

Is the path pleasing to the divine? 

Does it only balance your hope and faith attaching you to your lord when you’re experiencing the highs?.

Do you feel scattered when experiencing the lows on the path? Does fear have a playing field when this is the case?

The answers will grant you profound insight paving way for long over due clarity. 

The reason there is a struggle in your trust regarding your hearts desire and in turn your faith is because you are missing the forest for the trees. “This isn’t right” becomes “this is right” when you metaphorically kill the attachment to the desire/outcome and become attached to the divine instead. This requires understanding and divine consciousness to execute. It isn’t necessarily contingent on your religious practice being on point. Allah guides the hearts and truth doesn’t discriminate against who receives it

Attachment to the divine makes sense because it’s him who guided you through his grace, strengthened your faith through his mercy. Protected you from misguidance (e.g you making its not right about matter) it’s him who left  you signs and synchronicities. Inspired you into multitudes of perspective shifts. The one who strengthened you with his spirit all to facilitate…..your journey back to yourself which ultimately means your journey back to him.

To truly trust you must first be free to trust, and you cannot be free where an attachment other than to Allah exists.

This is why one can’t project safety into the unknown. This is what makes one prone to repeat dynamics that don’t serve. This is how fear garners control over one to trip them up in matters pertaining to their faith. Faith that Allah cultivated in you to begin with to serve as your torch.

Why are attachments other than to the divine not in your highest good? Because unconsciously you are being obedient to the attachment to outcome. This leaves subconscious negative core beliefs managed by the ego, related to matters that need healing  left unexposed.  Through attachment to the divine this darkness is bought into the light for resolution. Distortions are healed as the subconscious mind is reprogrammed through truth and with love. 

He is not in need of your obedience in the end it serves your highest good. When Allah says re route your attachment to a matter and its outcome to me. It is so that your scattered focus aligns with unconditional self love and acceptance which is your soul structure. Re routing attachment to Allah thus frees you up to be in a state that receives.  

He wants attachments to other than him metaphorically annihilated so that fears can be transmuted to pure faith. Your doubts into pure hope, your anxiety into trust  and your confusion into steadfastness.

The divine is interested in your soul evolution every test you encounter facilitates for this. Your soul yearns for this and works with it because it is motivated towards your wholeness. The souls attachment to the divine means it gets to relish in divine love. It’s safe and has an inner knowing where trust is concerned that whatever the outcome the divine destines regarding its hearts desire, ultimately is an outcome better than what your own will could conjure.

True alchemy of the heart, is to rid it from attachments to anything but the divine.

May he align your will with his. If you are on a rollercoaster look at the path it rolls through. To jump off is to detach from attachments, therefore the Jump off becomes a breakthrough.  Because detaching from attachments is soul liberation. 

This is the lesson, your feelings knew and the roller coaster and dynamic of sorts you were on and stuck in  are the loops in life that stand as signs telling you ……… you-are-still-not getting-it. 

 

 

 

Happy to Inhale

‘Liberation is a state of freedom where the individual ego is eliminated and the true egoless state or the state of Self is cognized. Liberation is the feeling that exists in all of us, only it is hidden from our view. It is that something that stands behind us and is our real true life. 

If this is our own true and real Self, then why are we not experiencing this at all times? The reason is that our lower (false) self has created limitations which conceal the nature of our true and real existence. When these self-created limitations, which are artificial, are removed, then the Soul is realized. This is called the liberation of the soul.

When the ignorance and the misunderstanding of our true and real Self vanishes, then and then only does the real Self stand in its own true effulgence’

“The deliverance of the human from his self-created bondage, the glory of that which is beyond all grasp of thought, the happiness that is the very foundation of our existence, is nearer to us than anything of a physical nature.”

– Charlie Lutes

 

The Past & Owning your Story.

“You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” -Brené Brown

Worthiness is hustled because you become disconnected from your worth when your story isn’t owned by you. The hustle happens within even though our worth neither increases nor decreases because it’s fixed in state since we are born with it. When our story isn’t owned our worthiness isn’t felt hence the internal  hustle for it and it isn’t felt because it’s blocked by shame. What does not owning your story mean? I am not referring to denial or delusion which is some of the ways people refuse to own their story. I am referring to not going within enough and thus missing the root of a matter that has hurt you.

What he/she they or society did is 10% of the story the other 90% is how it made you truly feel. That raw feeling inside that wants to address the kind of untruths about your self that you may even intellectually recognise for what it is, but for the life in you can’t fathom why its poison effects you still. Your story is your vulnerability. Owning that is how breakthroughs happen.

A breakthrough I believe is something that creeps up on you. It isn’t like a shift, a shift is part of a process, where in order for you to proceed on your journey its needed as fuel.  I feel a shift can be sensed and felt as it happens but a breakthrough you can’t. A shift is like a green light telling you to cross over to another side where the grass is green and the sky is bright. It’s a change in perception and a new found perspective about yourself and about life.

A breakthrough is a culimination of a matter that yesterday was hurting you and today you’ve realised you’ve gone passed its pain and entered a state of true inner peace. A breakthrough is the realisation that the hook that aligned you with the negative emotions of grief, sorrow, anger, shame and resentment that you felt has been removed, has been healed. Most mistake a shift for a breakthrough.

Breakthroughs are the true blessings in healing, it’s the ease after the hardship. It isn’t indifference to what happened it’s transcendence over it. For example you have alchemised the energy of pain into direction, grief into gaining your self, sorrow into self compassion. Anger into values that gave birth to solid boundaries. Shame into self empathy that made you switch lanes from that hazardous route shame set you upon most of your life. As for resentment? I believe it’s transmuted into wisdom the kind that ensures you do not end up making a u-turn back there, back where? To the places and things and people that didn’t honour your soul. To the energetic fields you entered unconsciously because you were separated and therefore neglectful of your own soul.

When you are in a healthy state of being i.e connected to yourself with no unconcious programmings sabotaging your flow. The past serves to reasonably inform the present. When you are not in such a state the past serves to hijack the present.

Why is the past informing the present so beneficial? Because life is continuous, it goes on and so situations that mirror or reflect matters, pertaining to what led to your spiritual growth in the first place do rear its head again in subtle ways.  These matters are opportunities to practice what you’ve learnt. To make your new substance part of your subconscious flow. The past can help with this as it contains intimate details of all the lessons you learnt, all the discoveries you made. The growths that occurred through the pain you chose to feel, heal and release.

As you go forward in life be grateful for the hooks Allah removed and continues to. Be grateful for his infinite wisdom and his grace that guided you to see, understand and recieve clarity about the things, that had he not guided you about, would have left you lost and stuck on a hamsters wheel.

You can only connect the dots when you look back and that is because the past is informing your present, your intuition is confirming and you are listening.  As new doors open, you find new truths that are gifts meant to carry you through to the next phase of your journey to self actualise. A phase of maturity, empowerment, deeper self love and acceptance.

Healing is a process that is deeply intimate and important. It can not occur with out self honesty, resilience and patience. As you venture out you will feel lighter because the old baggage is gone. When you feel heavy because of a new load (because life is continuous and there is so much more to learn) then it can be appreciated  and understood that the past informing the present is actually a present from Allah.  It’s a reminder of the things you found on the paths you took that facilitated your growth, your healing. Reminders benefit the faithful. 

I’ve learnt that there is no wrong path, for all paths traversed happened in order to teach something, reveal something. To add a layer of something needed, to you. Or to peel back a layer of something no longer required from you.

When the process of healing is bypassed in any way, the past pops up through memories that cause suffering through shame. That is how it hijacks the present.

“When we own our own stories, we avoid being trapped as characters in the stories someone else is telling.” -Brené Brown, Rising Strong

We also avoid being trapped in the stories we tell ourselves. The kind of stories that block you from receiving your own love and the love of those who love you. Because that’s how shame operates, like shaytan eating your food because you didn’t say bismillah and then wondering why you don’t feel that full. You are robbed and unaware of how  because you can’t see it externally nor can you compute it mentally as it happens.

When you own your story your character in that shame inducing story dies in your mind because it is in your mind that it is kept alive in the first place. When you own it, it becomes like that character in a tv series who exited in season 4.

Where did they end up? In the absence of shame they ended up with self empathy. They stopped defacing their soul. They own their intentions and their actions that they felt ashamed of because of how it was received or treated. Self empathy reminds them the shame narrative they attributed to their story is an illusion. Self empathy reminds them what was true from them, and how that is the only thing that matters. Only when you own your story do you get to transmute shame into empathy and compassion that leads to clarity and understanding. The soul structure intends to be built upon iron not straws.

The hooks fall off with the shame lensed glasses you took off. The past informs the present so they do not come back on. 

 

System Error

Truth feels light even if its point isnt pleasant I.e something that goes against you or a position you found comfort in. Truth isn’t  heavy nor does it cause fatigue. What’s heavy and exhausting is ego narratives masquerading as truth. Whats heavy and exhausting is ego blocks that pull ones strings to resist truth.

Heaviness is a sign of absence of truth or contamination of it. What’s true feels light & the heart works in tandem with it.  For me it compresses and tightens my chest as a way to communicate rejection of something  and it releases its grip making way for inner peace to enter as an indication that all is now well. I.e I’ve adjusted a flaw. I call this process system error.

I find that the feeling of something being amiss communicates to me a truth is missing from an equation. Likewise my hearts compression and release activity, indicates my state of being in a moment accurately. I’m I one with the truth or have I prematurely received it? Is there more on this matter? If truth was 8 marbles did I pick up 10 or 7? 10 being symbolic for adding to the truth what’s not from it & 7, missing it by an inch yet not realise it. The compressions and release in my heart provide the answer.

My heart knows before my mind.

 

 

Lens

“I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.” ~Charles Cooley

The greatest gift you can give yourself is to take back your power of definition. The perception you have of yourself relies heavily on how you define things. How are you defining things? Is it based on a system of unconditional self love that houses your own values. Or a system of doubt that houses that of others?

If you have in any way let the opinions, truths, values and expectations of others guide or worse manage your reality. You need to take back your power of definition. Relinquishing that unconsciously is the root of the problem, a problem that can take years or even the good part of a life time for some to discover.

Your reality doesn’t hinge on things outside of you, if your heart doesn’t absorb something, it doesn’t. You can’t force it and you shouldn’t want to. Let the chips fall how it may, any cognitive dissonance that arises is Allah teaching you self trust. Your heart is your northern star not someone else’s listen to your own. Trust your own truth of who you are. Are you someone who has no agenda with truth? Are you someone who doesn’t lie to themselves and is open to growth however difficult? If yes then trust your heart and what it absorbs and doesn’t absorb .

Power of definition rests on trusting your hearts resonation. Especially when something is amiss, trust it even if it causes you turmoil. Clarity comes at dawn. leave the details behind implications of doing that, alone. The devil is in the detail for a reason, to get entangled in making sense of things, is how you lose your way to begin with.

We each have a system inside us that is sufficient to individually govern us. It’s unlocked by a key of self trust. A key you can’t access without unconditional self love.

Instead of scanning for an error in yourself as you are accustomed to. Trust your heart when it lovingly throws a middle finger up i.e when it stands firm against all odds. When it contradicts what you once held close. Firmness that doesn’t separate you from love is steadfastness.

Power of definition remains intact and whole when you let your heart define what is. Take off the lens that diverts you from stepping into your power of definition. It’s the mother of illusions. It Keeps one stuck in what was, as they miss what is. What was isn’t threatened by what is. Not unless you are intolerant of the ebbs and flows of life.

Footsteps In the Wind

‘A door is closing as it should. As it must in order for the next door to open. Yes, there is a chance that there is a journey between the doors. Time to heal. Time to regroup. Time to shed and release the old and time to make space for the new. What will get you from one door to the next? Faith. Trust in yourself and in this process. What will keep your own light burning? Hope; even a shred is enough to get you there’     ~Anonymous

Northern Star

Get out of your own way every day, bathe in your own love in every way. Use your hope in the big things to nourish & maintain your hope in the little things. Seek not to fix yourself but to get to know yourself. All that you will ever need is already inside of yourself. So let go and let live as you dance to the rhythm of your own heart. It’s path is tailor made for all that you are. It’s will is your northern star.