Category: Growth

Sovereignty

There is a blessing in making moves you don’t have to explain, and living contently in realities you co created. That blessing is sovereignty. It’s blessed because your alignment in it is known not obscured.

“I want us all to grow so comfortable in our own feelings, our own knowing, our own imagination that we become more committed to our own joy, freedom, and integrity than we are to manipulating what others think of us. I want us to refuse to betray ourselves. Because what the world needs now in order to evolve is to watch one woman at a time live her truest, most beautiful life without asking for permission or offering explanation.”

Glennon Doyle, Untamed

Self Validation

We need to be clear on our personal values so we are not swayed by the opinions of ‘public courts’. Guilt and shame are powerful convincers when not grounded in self. Ego consciousness uses fear of negativity rooted in one or the other, or both to assert itself. I.e to make you step out of yourself.

Ones true self and false self can’t appear and stand in or for a matter at the same time. Ego consciousness attempts to put the former in the back seat always.

Our values are comprised of what we on a individual level, like or dislike as determined in our hearts space. To honour that even when people beat a drum for their own, in a way that doesn’t validate yours or stands in contrast to it, is steadfastness because you validate it yourself.

Imbalance

The places where imbalances arise that are then railroaded in the name of maslaha (making peace between others by bringing benefit to a matter or preventing harm) are also the very same places injustices can be birthed. To railroad people is to shut process down and imbalances are a sign going against that, as space is needed for truth to sprout through ripe.

One example of how this happens is bringing a person who wronged another and the wronged party together on equal footing. (Key words equal footing) they’re not the same! You can not invite the wrong doer and the wronged person to the same party with the same invitation. (And if you can’t even differentiate between them, you have no business doing or initiating maslaha in the first place )

To do so is to appeal to the ego of the wrongdoer and invalidate the honour and haq/truth/rights of the wronged. 

The very essence of commandments and prohibitions in Islam is embedded in the concept of maslaha. Imagine then our strategy of its implementation allowing injustice in.

I value the “thin line” between things because often it’s there we receive understanding and clarity.

Patience & Enabling

There is a thin line between patience and enabling and I think that line is to do with purpose or lack of it. True patience flourishes when it is aligned with divine purpose and without this, one is prone to enable situations and/or people that usher in experiences and ways of behaving, that do not match up to whatever our individual divine purpose is. (I am not referring to the collective purpose)

Often in the name of patience, we can steer off course and enable our loved ones even ourselves. Because without purpose to measure things through, everything becomes convoluted and it’s easy for a false sense of guilt and it’s qualifying perception, to be mistaken for a voice of reason or compassion.

Another way of understanding what our divine purpose is, is knowing your true calling in life. This would be personal to you and it often has ‘symptoms’ like what you’re most passionate about, what do you check passionately, when things other wise roll off you, like water of a ducks back.

Your divine purpose that Allah helps to bring you into alignment with, is therefore things he already created you to have the substance for. The spark and drive is imminent and it pours into every aspect of your life, even if you aren’t always aware of its happenings. What people tell you you’re great at believe them, as it’s a major indicator and what you think you are good at keep developing.

Patience/sabr is a virtue one of the greatest in the sight of Allah and it is a gift for people to be met with and a manifestation of self care when you meet yourself with it, but what it never is, is enabling. Unlike enabling, patience doesn’t disconnect you from your divine purpose. As the spark and drive within its flow also pours into matters or to people you’re called to be patient about or with.

That’s one way to see if you’ve crossed the thin line between patience and enabling. Do you feel disconnected from self or connected in flow.

When you’re patient Allah replenishes your soul when you’re enabling, feelings of imbalances occur. These feelings are guidance to indicate and direct to truth.

Enabling in the name of patience , regardless of when it’s done or with whom, the impact is the same. Measuring things through whether or not it matches up with personal divine purpose is therefore key. Because It keeps you in check inwardly and so too governs well your outward reality. Because you yourself and your loved ones receive the best of you.

Be truly patient 💎

Like water

I remember resonating  a lot with Bruce lee’s quote “be like water my friend” when I was a teen, of course there was more to quote than just that. But it was that part specifically that struck a cord with me.

The full quote is…

You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend. ~ Bruce lee 

Only after I grew older, did it dawn on me just how profoundly this quote impacted me unconciously. It crystallised in meaning, permeating  every fibre of my soul. I realised meaning was preserved and developed through various phases of my life. Because the quote was a sign, a clue about my authentic fluid nature. You can only connect the dots when you look back…
The freeing flow of the water was the opposite to the rigidity i’d lean towards, in the face of changes that I didn’t want. 
The freeing flow of the water was symbolic for all the fulfilment, my soul wanted to pursue but I’d resist because (insert blind spots that led to much self abandonment or fear of my true desires)
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…is your well being flowing through you and to you, no matter what your circumstance is. Just like this rock in the middle of no where, doesnt clog up the flow of the river passing through it. So too, when you follow what fulfils you will the rock not be a factor or obstacle to your harmony and flow.

To be (flow) like water, acknowledge every facet of your being, especially your soul perceptions about things. 

It’s only when we ignore the latter (our soul perceptions) that we fall into judgements and then projections and then last but definitely not the least, neglect in not acknowledging our true needs. 

Any disappointment like energy in life that we feel, can only be transmuted when we pursue what fulfils us. As the feeling of disappointment in our present moment, is carrying the loyal mail telling us that we are not being fulfilled. See the rock as is disappointment and the water is our  fulfilment continuing to flow regardless of it.

When inner conflict gets in the way, it only gets in the way of clarity coming in. That realisation serves as a great incentive for me to persevere and work through it. Clarity is what paves the way for us to align with fulfilment. It is the first dose of it, and ultimately for me, the reason why clarity feels like well being. 

 

Second Draft

When people change, you must not erase what you knew about them before the change that hurt you.

It’s what we knew after all, that we must grieve. As it’s what we knew, that we had the relation and connection with. 

There is a seed planted under the rubbles where your heart was crushed. A seed that grows into profound clarities, that lay out the foundation for a greater and more wholesome home.

There is a crack in the psyche that pain illuminates. So we can experience discernment creeping through when needed most. Discernment, that shows us how to get to and stay in said new home. 

All that happens, when, where, what and how ultimately serves the evolution and expansion of your soul.

Will you be patient?…is a question I’ve asked myself a lot. The answer is always yes because patience fulfils my soul.

There is a part of me that always cared to master myself. That always cared for the silver lining in the dark clouds, that appeared on my path. 

And because of this, this same part of me unwittingly dismissed my feelings to work through things I had no business doing. It held space for things that bothered me.

This part of me that cared to understand even if I wasn’t being understood, is now grateful to realise that she can exist in a space devoid of any form of self deception. A space that makes sense of the unconscious self betrayals that resulted in the forgetting of myself.

Only with time can we look back and re write the first draft that made excuses for others and none for ourselves. 

Only with time can we grow strong enough to look back and swallow the cold truth that in deleting ourselves…..we overestimated the intentions and integrity of others……..and just as we are about to attack ourselves for that, we can in its stead, attach to self love that writes a second draft.

A second draft with clarity replacing confusion. Truth replacing illusion, understanding replacing judgment, empowerment replacing resentment and fulfilment replacing disappointments.  

Our soul holds the pen, that is ready to write our second draft on everything.

 

Cut the Middle Man Out

If you don’t care about my peace of mind, I don’t feel valued by you…

That’s ok, just make sure to establish the peace you need yourself and to realise your feeling here, is sending a reminder. For you to remember who you are, so you can value it to do the above. 

If you feel a sense of abandonment or rejection  creeping up on you in any matter you are immersed in. Then know that the feeling is showing  you, that in that very moment you are not standing in the power of your value.

If you make that conscious connect, you shift because you remember your value & the feeling subsides, because you received what it came to give you.

When you see your feelings as messengers, you don’t run the risk of activating projections, that make you miss the loyal Mail. 

 

Recognising the Inner child

Our insecurities reflect what our  inner child believes. It’s our Inner child that makes us doubt our worth or value because of what he/she believes in any given moment where an insecurity is activated (triggered)

Sometimes instead of looking within, people look outwardly and project the emotional intensity floating up from their unconscious. That wants to reveal a particular point related to information like this.

If we think the emotional intensity we feel is about the story that caused it to bubble up. We will continue to miss the point, that would have otherwise led to illumination about a matter. 

Conversely if we don’t project the emotional intensity, but instead we become emotionally available to ourselves enough to feel it and accept how we feel afterward. We heal and ultimately grow into cultivating  unconditional self acceptance, that safeguards self esteem.

All that we don’t accept are filed away as insecurities. That means self esteem is left injured. Wholesome living can not be attained with out recognising & attending to the one who did the filing… 

Our  inner child..

That needs our efforts & attention to turn towards their reality. So that they can be seen heard, nourished and loved.  Rather than subjecting it to disregard and thus further abandonment. Because the ego employs patterns of resistance to keep us away from the  places and spaces our inner child is left to bleed alone or worse hustle for its needs on its own. If we are not present our inner child is out there finessing. For safety, love, understanding, acceptance, validation and even vindication.

Springing Back

My resilience was birthed from the burdens I shouldered, that I now know I shouldnt have had to…..my desire for relief, because of the burdens.

Im looking at my ability for seeing the bigger picture easier than most, differently. Making peace that skipping myself, provided a head start to do it.

I don’t know if that’s a blessing or a tradegy. I feel, I think it’s more the blessing in the midst of the tradegy. 

I wondered one day,  how I could keep the blessing and end the tradegy…

My heart said through emotional attunement that doesn’t underestimate your value and overestimate others intentions and integrity….

When the hearts involved there should be no negotiation or dictation over how one deals. Let others cradle their unsettled truths and grief how they need to. 

Forgiveness is a process that triggers those afraid of accountability.  I’m not killing my self softly, hoping you won’t be.