Like water

I remember resonating  a lot with Bruce lee’s quote “be like water my friend” when I was a teen, of course there was more to quote than just that. But it was that part specifically that struck a cord with me.

The full quote is…

You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend. ~ Bruce lee 

Only after I grew older, did it dawn on me just how profoundly this quote impacted me unconciously. It crystallised in meaning, permeating  every fibre of my soul. I realised meaning was preserved and developed through various phases of my life. Because the quote was a sign, a clue about my authentic fluid nature. You can only connect the dots when you look back…
The freeing flow of the water was the opposite to the rigidity i’d lean towards, in the face of changes that I didn’t want. 
The freeing flow of the water was symbolic for all the fulfilment, my soul wanted to pursue but I’d resist because (insert blind spots that led to much self abandonment or fear of my true desires)
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…is your well being flowing through you and to you, no matter what your circumstance is. Just like this rock in the middle of no where, doesnt clog up the flow of the river passing through it. So too, when you follow what fulfils you will the rock not be a factor or obstacle to your harmony and flow.

To be (flow) like water, acknowledge every facet of your being, especially your soul perceptions about things. 

It’s only when we ignore the latter (our soul perceptions) that we fall into judgements and then projections and then last but definitely not the least, neglect in not acknowledging our true needs. 

Any disappointment like energy in life that we feel, can only be transmuted when we pursue what fulfils us. As the feeling of disappointment in our present moment, is carrying the loyal mail telling us that we are not being fulfilled. See the rock as is disappointment and the water is our  fulfilment continuing to flow regardless of it.

When inner conflict gets in the way, it only gets in the way of clarity coming in. That realisation serves as a great incentive for me to persevere and work through it. Clarity is what paves the way for us to align with fulfilment. It is the first dose of it, and ultimately for me, the reason why clarity feels like well being. 

 

Second Draft

When people change, you must not erase what you knew about them before the change that hurt you.

It’s what we knew after all, that we must grieve. As it’s what we knew, that we had the relation and connection with. 

There is a seed planted under the rubbles where your heart was crushed. A seed that grows into profound clarities, that lay out the foundation for a greater and more wholesome home.

There is a crack in the psyche that pain illuminates. So we can experience discernment creeping through when needed most. Discernment, that shows us how to get to and stay in said new home. 

All that happens, when, where, what and how ultimately serves the evolution and expansion of your soul.

Will you be patient?…is a question I’ve asked myself a lot. The answer is always yes because patience fulfils my soul.

There is a part of me that always cared to master myself. That always cared for the silver lining in the dark clouds, that appeared on my path. 

And because of this, this same part of me unwittingly dismissed my feelings to work through things I had no business doing. It held space for things that bothered me.

This part of me that cared to understand even if I wasn’t being understood, is now grateful to realise that she can exist in a space devoid of any form of self deception. A space that makes sense of the unconscious self betrayals that resulted in the forgetting of myself.

Only with time can we look back and re write the first draft that made excuses for others and none for ourselves. 

Only with time can we grow strong enough to look back and swallow the cold truth that in deleting ourselves…..we overestimated the intentions and integrity of others……..and just as we are about to attack ourselves for that, we can in its stead, attach to self love that writes a second draft.

A second draft with clarity replacing confusion. Truth replacing illusion, understanding replacing judgment, empowerment replacing resentment and fulfilment replacing disappointments.  

Our soul holds the pen, that is ready to write our second draft on everything.

 

Cut the Middle Man Out

If you don’t care about my peace of mind, I don’t feel valued by you…

That’s ok, just make sure to establish the peace you need yourself and to realise your feeling here, is sending a reminder. For you to remember who you are, so you can value it to do the above. 

If you feel a sense of abandonment or rejection  creeping up on you in any matter you are immersed in. Then know that the feeling is showing  you, that in that very moment you are not standing in the power of your value.

If you make that conscious connect, you shift because you remember your value & the feeling subsides, because you received what it came to give you.

When you see your feelings as messengers, you don’t run the risk of activating projections, that make you miss the loyal Mail. 

 

Recognising the Inner child

Our insecurities reflect what our  inner child believes. It’s our Inner child that makes us doubt our worth or value because of what he/she believes in any given moment where an insecurity is activated (triggered)

Sometimes instead of looking within, people look outwardly and project the emotional intensity floating up from their unconscious. That wants to reveal a particular point related to information like this.

If we think the emotional intensity we feel is about the story that caused it to bubble up. We will continue to miss the point, that would have otherwise led to illumination about a matter. 

Conversely if we don’t project the emotional intensity, but instead we become emotionally available to ourselves enough to feel it and accept how we feel afterward. We heal and ultimately grow into cultivating  unconditional self acceptance, that safeguards self esteem.

All that we don’t accept are filed away as insecurities. That means self esteem is left injured. Wholesome living can not be attained with out recognising & attending to the one who did the filing… 

Our  inner child..

That needs our efforts & attention to turn towards their reality. So that they can be seen heard, nourished and loved.  Rather than subjecting it to disregard and thus further abandonment. Because the ego employs patterns of resistance to keep us away from the  places and spaces our inner child is left to bleed alone or worse hustle for its needs on its own. If we are not present our inner child is out there finessing. For safety, love, understanding, acceptance, validation and even vindication.

Springing Back

My resilience was birthed from the burdens I shouldered, that I now know I shouldnt have had to…..my desire for relief, because of the burdens.

Im looking at my ability for seeing the bigger picture easier than most, differently. Making peace that skipping myself, provided a head start to do it.

I don’t know if that’s a blessing or a tradegy. I feel, I think it’s more the blessing in the midst of the tradegy. 

I wondered one day,  how I could keep the blessing and end the tradegy…

My heart said through emotional attunement that doesn’t underestimate your value and overestimate others intentions and integrity….

When the hearts involved there should be no negotiation or dictation over how one deals. Let others cradle their unsettled truths and grief how they need to. 

Forgiveness is a process that triggers those afraid of accountability.  I’m not killing my self softly, hoping you won’t be. 

 

Longing for own comfort

Don’t let longing distort your reality. It’s easy to confuse your feelings for what you are thinking… 

For example sometimes while you think you are longing for a person, a thing or a particular experience. You run the risk of missing a message carried by your feelings, that encapsulates your true reality in a moment. A reality that says what you’re longing for is actually your own comfort.

This reality matters because it’s something you can gift to yourself. It is in the spectrum of your control. 

When we don’t separate out the story from the object of our longing. The reality that what we need, being comfort gets distorted.

The need wounds up being associated with the external matter in focus. This association is what leads to our exit of the space, where the emotional intensity that requires our availability to self exists. Instead of being available we become unavailable and thus we end up trying to neutralise the intensity we feel. With initiated action that we hope would  quell the problem or issue correlated with how we feel.

So if the story is about you longing for a certain experience. You initiate actions that align with the meeting or bringing about of it. Like leaving your city even if doing so feels like the path of most resistance. 

If it’s longing for a person, than you iniate actions like reaching out to individual. Even  if you know in moment they aren’t good for you. 

This is self abandonment because you are doing everything except being emotionally available to your self. The reality of comfort being needed, gets distorted because the emotional intensity is projected outward and thus any stability regarding it is hoped for outwardly also.

When we are emotionally attuned we enter a safe space of acknowledgement that leads to the giving of the comfort that’s needed. The comfort that enters into the space where the emotional intensity is usually left unattended; can only be accessed through the adoption of self compassion. Self compassion grounds us into staying with our feelings and ultimately feeling them it’s the opposite of self neglect. 

Our own emotional availability has the power to heal the emotional intensity carried by our  inner child. That shows up fuelling the illusion behind the projections. This phenomena occurs because the inner child is seeking what we fail to give it, by other means.

When grounded in self compassion we begin to find the courage to feel our vulnerability. As doing so pulls back the projection from the external matters we think we are longing for. It is realised that the projection is the abandonment. So when the projection is retreated & exchanged for emotional attunement to self, it leads to the comfort received by our inner child that’s in need of it most.

This is the result of the unravelling of the distortions that disperses the unconscious confusion holding it in place and reveals in its stead the truth. Truth that ineveitably leads to the creation of well needed boundaries for the mind to learn and adhere to. The kind of boundaries that block out looping intrusive disempowering thoughts. That usually tell us we’re unsafe thus feelings of being insecure, about where we are in a moment ensue. This is where the inner child needs our adult self and when abandoned over and over again, it seeks safety through the ego patterns that are set up to intend to protect it.

We aren’t unsafe because we don’t feel safe. If we don’t feel safe, it’s a sign there is room for healing and that’s ok. 

What’s important is to learn how to heal the intensity of longing that is the result of a childhood attachment injury, where you did not feel seen, heard or understood in your family system.” Alan Robarge 

I feel that although people heal in different ways. In order for healing to take place most efficiently. It should be considered that feeling safe is about being able to truly embody what’s coming.

When I believe Allah is conspiring in my favour. I feel safe because I’m able to realise my soul that has the ability and substance to embody what’s coming. As opposed to my ego consciousness that wants to take control of the chaos it percieves about what’s coming, because safety is in the ‘accomplishment’ of that. Of one being in control of ominous realities/incoming chaos, imagined or not.

Realisation of the soul is the true meaning of being in our divinity. When we are in our divinity we feel safe, because we are anchored to a power greater than us. That understands why we are where we are & why we do the things we do. 

We come to understand that the opposite of chaos is not control it’s fundamentally, trust. In this case self trust that our emotional availability for our own selves is enough to lead us to the whole truth about what’s amiss within.