Don’t let longing distort your reality. It’s easy to confuse your feelings for what you are thinking…
For example sometimes while you think you are longing for a person, a thing or a particular experience. You run the risk of missing a message carried by your feelings, that encapsulates your true reality in a moment. A reality that says what you’re longing for is actually your own comfort.
This reality matters because it’s something you can gift to yourself. It is in the spectrum of your control.
When we don’t separate out the story from the object of our longing. The reality that what we need, being comfort gets distorted.
The need wounds up being associated with the external matter in focus. This association is what leads to our exit of the space, where the emotional intensity that requires our availability to self exists. Instead of being available we become unavailable and thus we end up trying to neutralise the intensity we feel. With initiated action that we hope would quell the problem or issue correlated with how we feel.
So if the story is about you longing for a certain experience. You initiate actions that align with the meeting or bringing about of it. Like leaving your city even if doing so feels like the path of most resistance.
If it’s longing for a person, than you iniate actions like reaching out to individual. Even if you know in moment they aren’t good for you.
This is self abandonment because you are doing everything except being emotionally available to your self. The reality of comfort being needed, gets distorted because the emotional intensity is projected outward and thus any stability regarding it is hoped for outwardly also.
When we are emotionally attuned we enter a safe space of acknowledgement that leads to the giving of the comfort that’s needed. The comfort that enters into the space where the emotional intensity is usually left unattended; can only be accessed through the adoption of self compassion. Self compassion grounds us into staying with our feelings and ultimately feeling them it’s the opposite of self neglect.
Our own emotional availability has the power to heal the emotional intensity carried by our inner child. That shows up fuelling the illusion behind the projections. This phenomena occurs because the inner child is seeking what we fail to give it, by other means.
When grounded in self compassion we begin to find the courage to feel our vulnerability. As doing so pulls back the projection from the external matters we think we are longing for. It is realised that the projection is the abandonment. So when the projection is retreated & exchanged for emotional attunement to self, it leads to the comfort received by our inner child that’s in need of it most.
This is the result of the unravelling of the distortions that disperses the unconscious confusion holding it in place and reveals in its stead the truth. Truth that ineveitably leads to the creation of well needed boundaries for the mind to learn and adhere to. The kind of boundaries that block out looping intrusive disempowering thoughts. That usually tell us we’re unsafe thus feelings of being insecure, about where we are in a moment ensue. This is where the inner child needs our adult self and when abandoned over and over again, it seeks safety through the ego patterns that are set up to intend to protect it.
We aren’t unsafe because we don’t feel safe. If we don’t feel safe, it’s a sign there is room for healing and that’s ok.
“What’s important is to learn how to heal the intensity of longing that is the result of a childhood attachment injury, where you did not feel seen, heard or understood in your family system.” Alan Robarge
I feel that although people heal in different ways. In order for healing to take place most efficiently. It should be considered that feeling safe is about being able to truly embody what’s coming.
When I believe Allah is conspiring in my favour. I feel safe because I’m able to realise my soul that has the ability and substance to embody what’s coming. As opposed to my ego consciousness that wants to take control of the chaos it percieves about what’s coming, because safety is in the ‘accomplishment’ of that. Of one being in control of ominous realities/incoming chaos, imagined or not.
Realisation of the soul is the true meaning of being in our divinity. When we are in our divinity we feel safe, because we are anchored to a power greater than us. That understands why we are where we are & why we do the things we do.
We come to understand that the opposite of chaos is not control it’s fundamentally, trust. In this case self trust that our emotional availability for our own selves is enough to lead us to the whole truth about what’s amiss within.