Ive not bit off more than I can chew, it was worse I chewed what I knew I couldn’t swallow.
I thought I had a problem with endurance I don’t, I had a problem with what I was resisting as I forced myself to endure. A problem with what I was forcing my soul to eat. Instead of listening to it’s preferences.
You and I will eat when reason flows through integrity, when there is no conflict that requires peace to be contingent on the bypassing of what my soul knows and needs. It’s not peace if im abandoning a part of myself and it isn’t peace when you end up blocked from receiving what your soul wishes you to know that is conducive to growth.
It doesn’t befit me to acquiesce, it’s not in my nature. In my understanding I hope you find clarity and in my form all the meanings I once contaminated.
You don’t find your worth you find your knowing of it and nothing is the same after that moment.
Life does provide and pinpoint some knowledge regarding your worth, like all that is within your divine birth right and/or perhaps all that is reflected back to you by your loved ones.
With that said there is an ocean of difference between knowing your rights and coming into knowledge of your worth. That difference is highlighted in the magical feeling that accompanies the latter. It’s as though in that moment you realise yourself.
Something as simple as understanding you have a right to matter, is not the same as coming to know that you actually do
Finding your knowing of your worth leads to actual solid embodiment. You go beyond intellectually understanding and knowing about it.
You find your knowing OF IT, when this happens you MEET your true self. It’s the moment your physical temporal self merges with your soul self. Emotional stability is provision carried only by your soul it’s what you feel when you step into it, it’s the jacket you wear when you come to know OF your worth. To find the knowing of your worth is akin to saying hello to your soul.
It is Liberation
The end in sight is left open ended just like it was in the beginning. The road ahead that felt so bumpy feels uneven as if it’s telling me to mind my step. The sensations in my body point to feelings of wanting to vomit. I hardly ate, reason reminds, there is nothing to vomit out chill inside…
My soul is lost in imagination with what it has collected and contained of new values and truths. It’s itching to go..im becoming aware that it can see something clearly…. as If it’s already energetically there…
The present moment feels powerful because of the substance my soul is there fiddling with. Ego noise is in the distant background concerned about an outcome and its current discomforts. It isn’t loud enough to distract, hijack, or even contaminate what’s going on.
I feel stuck in a 3D circumstance, but yet I’m free somewhere else I’ve never truly been in before? What’s going on with my soul. Why is it rearing and so itchy to go. like an Olympic racer about to sprint somewhere. Positioned past ready, frozen in set…and waiting for go. I’m marvelled by it all…when the rope tightens its about to snap. The opposite of faith isn’t doubt it’s certainty. The opposite of hope isn’t fear it’s security.
Oh Allah I surrender the outcome of my circumstance to you. I surrender the desire of my state in it too.
When the soul is the only expert on the ship, and its positioned itself for something that feels so so real…. summon courage to hold space for what inspired it. Even if you don’t fully understand it yet. There is nothing and then there is something, but above all there is the divine and his connect to your soul.