Tight Rope

The end in sight is left open ended just like it was in the beginning.  The road ahead that felt so bumpy feels uneven as if it’s telling me to mind my step.  The sensations in my body point to feelings of wanting to vomit. I hardly ate, reason reminds, there is nothing to vomit out chill inside…

My soul is lost in imagination with what it has collected and contained of new values and truths. It’s itching to go..im becoming aware that it can see something clearly…. as If  it’s already energetically there…

The present moment feels powerful because of the substance my soul is there fiddling with. Ego noise is in the distant background concerned about an outcome and its current discomforts. It isn’t loud enough to distract, hijack, or even contaminate what’s going on.

I feel stuck in a 3D circumstance, but yet I’m free somewhere else I’ve never truly been in before? What’s going on with my soul. Why is it rearing and so itchy to go. like an Olympic racer about to sprint somewhere. Positioned past ready, frozen in set…and waiting for go. I’m marvelled by it all…when the rope tightens its about to snap. The opposite of faith isn’t doubt it’s certainty. The opposite of hope isn’t fear it’s security.

Oh Allah I surrender the outcome of my circumstance to you. I surrender the desire of my state in it too.

When the soul is the only expert on the ship, and its positioned itself for something that feels so so real…. summon courage to hold space for what inspired it. Even if you don’t fully understand it yet. There is nothing and then there is something, but above all there is the divine and his connect to your soul.