Hearts that Repel Darkness

What attempted to corrupt my heart is what my soul pushed back against, with most of my strength. For the most part of my life I disliked its aversion to what I saw as protection. The result of that was to turn on my heart for blocking out corruption that I haphazardly saw as protection. Turned on it through blame, to me it didn’t understand. I didn’t understand why it had a will that held me back.

When your ego thoughts push you to level out pain and your heart blocks it from manifestation. It’s alive not corrupt, it’s refusing to be changed by outside influence. Even your own blame.

Your heart can’t be defined or directed  by other than Allah. Trust what you feel through it even if you don’t yet understand. Trust what resonates with it even If it infuriates by blocking your path. Trust your truth, your inner knowing.

Trust the truths your heart absorbs, don’t resist, don’t force, just flow. Most importantly, approach these matters where you blame your heart for going against your ego whims ( because I realise now that’s exactly what it was doing) as a self reproaching soul. You can’t have a conscience and lie to yourself. Soul integrity is what leads to inner peace.

 

 

Treatment isn’t Confirmation

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I saw this quote and it made me think about how depression squats in the place love was meant to enter. That’s why some people when treated like they’re nothing feel the same.  Treatment is confirmation of internal beliefs they already hold in general or about themselves. May they transcend that with self love. How people treat you says something about them nothing about you. Don’t believe their actions determine your worth.

Emotional abuse has many faces, you’ll miss it most when it’s your own.

Deadlock

When you reach an impasse during your growth. It’s easy to scatter your focus by thinking there is some lack blocking your progress. The deadlock is space, its there to weild that scattered focus back to the present moment, where your soul is carrying your substance. The clarity found in that present moment is what ego attempts to deter you from through a siege on your focus.

The goal is to make you avoid feeling your feelings. It came through a spiritual back door because it knows you are committed to your growth and value that integrity remains ensconced in your conscience. The impasse therefore occurs because the ego entered through a ‘spiritual’ back door.

On the one hand you are aware of your heart and intuition telling you to stand still. But on the other there is a strangehold in your energy that doesn’t seem or feel like ego, but is enough to disrupt, you don’t know how to stand still. Confusion penetrates the space where clarity could enter.

Ever ask yourself “what do you mean sit with my damn feelings?” lol it made me think about the shame induced statement “she’s in her feelings” most of us grew up around.

Thats just it lmaoo you need to go in your feelings to feel them. Sitting with your feelings means that. The shame induced statement carried (probably made by someone’s ego and used by ours unconsciously at some point or another ) carries the solution. 

When the ego enters through a back door it’s trying to survive through mimicking your soul. So to navigate the space of deadlock where progress is halted. You have centre back your focus so you use feelings to explore feelings. 

Emotions and feelings aren’t the same thing, emotions are sensations when thoughts occur during an experience. They are physical reactions to your thoughts. Feelings extend beyond the body because it’s a state of conciousness where perceiving occurs. Therefore you can use your feelings to precieve   What’s behind your emotions subhanallah.

This is why when you skip past sitting with your emotions you go straight into addictive behaviours. Meaning your go to reactions when your ego perceives a threat from an experience.  It’s this Impulsive or addictive behaviour ego cultivated and stamped safe most of ones life, that people regret or feel “dirty” about later. That “dirty” or shame like feeling is also carrying guidance to show you that you a) aren’t aligned with your highest self from a soul space and therefore b) you are moving or have moved away from what supports your highest good & self.

When you skip your emotions you go straight into the behaviour that acts out addictions. Emotions that are sat with are emotions that are experienced because they  have been observed & explored. How do you experence it? By not by passing (resisting) how it feels inside your body. I normally do that when I make comments like “wow ok!” In that moment there is something that either hurt, shocked or surprised me uncomfortably. That’s the emotion, it’s waves through my body is what i need to drop  into. Doing that is what leads my true feelings to come through to produce perception from a centred place which ultimately bring guidance. You may slip into your thoughts at some point so it’s important to not beat yourself up, you just drop back in and start again.

Emotions that are experienced are emotions that heal because they have been accepted and so they have organically been allowed to flow unconditionally and transform themselves.

Its during this process that your feelings release the guidance it carries for you. The healing occurs because the thoughts the mind throws out due to an experience dictate vibrations. That vibration is an emotion, when you pause you are sitting with that emotion. You are aware it and the thought that dictated its vibration are not you.  At this point your in a soul space you are witnessing this and exploration becomes in depth the moment you observe and wonder how this emotion feels in your body the emotion thus is consciously  being explored by your feelings.

Emotions  are a part of your feelings but not your feelings in and of it self. Power of Perception & definition has been handed to your feelings not thoughts. So healing occurs. The emotion loses its grip because you’ve let it flow and in doing so experienced it.

Allah placed iman/faith in the emotional body and not psyche for this reason. Through feelings he guides.

“For each one are successive [angels] before and behind him who protect him by the decree of Allah . Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves..” (Quran 13:11)

The angels by his decree protect you as support for your soul, because shaytan through wiswaas supports your ego.

Indeed Allah will not change the condition of person who skipped the very process he would have done it in.

To sit with your emotions is to surrender, doing that reduces and removes resistance, in the absence of resistance you connect with presence to your feelings. That’s how it  directs and positions you to be receptive towards his guidance. 

Allah is so merciful for how he makes things go full circle alhamdulilaah.

Flow

When you get out of the driver’s seat, you find that life can drive itself, that actually life has always been driving itself. When you get out of the driver’s seat, it can drive itself so much easier—it can flow in ways you never imagined. Life becomes almost magical. The illusion of the “me” is no longer in the way. Life begins to flow, and you never know where it will take you”

~Adyashanti

 

 

Potential vs states & stages of Growth

Compassion and balance are replenished and summoned in, through the awareness that where a person stands during a particular stage or moment in their growth. Doesn’t take away from the potential carried within their soul.

Separate your state and stages in and during growth, from your potential that is your worth. If you do that for yourself you can develop and cultivate perceptions about others that are balanced and just.

Don’t hold one to their potential through expectancy and desires whilst forgetting their state or stage of growth during circumstances that arise. Doing so leads to warped conclusions that hurt you and others.

You hurt because you feel let down or denied love because you aren’t worth the effort or are simply too much. The other is hurt because lack is reflected back to them about them, because they didn’t meet your desires or fulfil expectations.

 

 

 

Mistakes & Me

I wasnt  allowed to make mistakes but didn’t realise it was me who made that rule, my way. To have hope in me is love having faith in you the same.

When you feel you arent allowed to make mistakes. Make sure it isn’t a rule you’ve unconsciously placed upon yourself. To have hope in me is love and having faith in you the same. Only through your hearts desires & resonation, can you discern the reality you need to thrive and create a reality that incorporates your potential. Love guides to nourishment that encompasses all

 

 

Allah steps in where you Lag behind

When someone is tested with dealing with doubts, they are inclined to believe or take on board what you present depending on where they’ve placed you. They may do that because they aren’t threatened by your heart. They park what’s said instead of throwing it away  as their journey was about self trust in themselves not trust about you.

They aren’t inclined to reject or resist without understanding.  Which is what gets things complicated when the person is being taught how to spot the difference between the soul of a person, that their heart trusts and their human self that is imperfect in what it sometimes does.

This is an important distinction to make and when you can’t due to doubts, you conflate matters and end up holding space for shit that don’t serve you. Anger is a feeling pointing out to you a boundary is violated or about to be. Shame is another feeling pointing out, how you are veering of course and where you should pause to realign yourself with your souls truth.

When you struggle to make the distinction above. You are at risk of failing to make or enforce boundaries you need. This is why Allah intervenes and removes people from ones life. He is doing what they couldn’t so that they may hop off the hamster wheel through divine mercy. They can connect the dots when they look back,  after taking the lessons required from situations..

My doubt blocked me from doing what I needed at times because of how I compartmentalised my needs with that of others. (You  make sacrifical your own, when a need for sacrifice comes up) I don’t resent those that I did that for anymore. At the time I thought they deserved it through how I read my compassion or care. I was wrong and that’s ok.

 

Following Triggers Coalesce Mind, Body & Soul.

Triggers are uncelebrated Blessings in disguise. Once a trigger stops having an effect it means healing on the things it occurred through,  has happened. Allah’s timing for things are as perfect as he is, for he is time.

I thought my capacity to visit what triggered  me with an intent to see where healing was still required, somewhat strange. Strange in comparison to avoiding or projecting outwardly, through a compulsion to control the feelings as if it’s the threat or problem (which is what I use to do).

It’s this strangeness that would also lead to my pleasant genuine surprise when the effect of a trigger was gone, and so with it the realisation that so was my interest in matter that bought it up. That surprise was my way of letting what’s new to me, marinate. With all the disconnect with my emotions marination through surprise is how I gave myself a moment to integrate what’s new.

I think once  I understood what triggers stood for I found a new love~ dislike relationship with them. Love because of the healing it came to guide me to and dislike because of its timing sometimes. The dislike part I wasn’t able to trancend till recently.  It happened through rememberance that Allah is time. ‘Able’ kinda credits something to my functioning. Truth is that was his mercy his tawfiiq.

I thought I was strange but I’m grateful Allah guided  me to re define my strangeness as my souls strength.

Fatooba li ghuruba Give glad tidings to the strangers! Or the strange things about you.