Synchronity

“Until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate” ~Carl Jung

“Your truth is a torch that will light the way through darkness. It is a vehicle that will carry you, and a shield that shall protect you. Following your truth is paramount to discovering your true self and all the risq/provisions Allah created you with. Never mistake who you are with how you were.”

I wrote the above in my blog in an entry July  last year Here I came across it tonight and the words “your truth is a torch that will light the way through darkness” is something I can’t believe I said. Its a huge synchronicity for me. What’s crazy is how in the post itself I spoke about synchronicity!

I  feel so emotional it’s unreal. Today has been the only day in the past month where I’ve felt truly alive, enveloped with inner peace without disruption in the flow of  my wellbeing.  The unconscious matter I made conscious with Allah’s grace, was in relation to  how and why my fixation with pain occurs. In avoidance of the things I desire, I couldn’t project safety in uncertainty.  I was deathly afraid to. I’ve unconsciously associated  stupidity and shame with my hearts will. Thus  connecting me to a devastating cycle where I’m blindsided by the very pain I aimed to protect my heart from leading me to.

I find myself in a pit of grief that felt familiar. I felt in my heart constractions that seemed like I’m about to be swallowed up. I found Allah’s love through dua and my souls voice that said hold on, don’t fight surrender, you’re ok your are safe.  The evolution of my consciousness has not felt this deep in so long.  I saw the hamster wheel for what it was. A prison that wills to keep me locked in fixation of the very pain I wished to avoid. I saw the illusions behind why I couldn’t project safety in the face of uncertainty.  It left my soul and ego in a tug of war pulling me into matrixes of hope vs hopelessness. To hand me control and to keep me away from it respectively.

I smiled tonight when i saw this scene in Eastenders  (that sign on the bus stop) was a synchronicity itself.

We don’t fear uncertainty we fear what we project into its place. To make concious those fears allows healing, healing brings love that projects safety into the space of uncertainty through hope. Love is the hearts will, it’s what Allah guides you to when you surrender.

He is the only one I could project safety on. The heart is an arrow that needs aim to land true. In his hand it’s safe. He can flip it in what ever directions he wills.