Pause for the Cause 💎

Before you begin a new story, forgive yourself  for the old ones you told yourself.

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What a new story wishes to build, holds no space to store the old.

Fear keeps you hostage to the past whilst hope keeps you in your light house. Your house of light.

Hate is an emotion that conveys hurt, when you hate yourself your body is communicating that you have hurt yourself.

Unconditional acceptance and love of oneself is a light that seaps through and directs to greater more wholesome pastures. If you are willing to walk through the dark abyss to reach it. Passing by valleys of doubt as you drop the masks of your false self like bread crumbs. Not to mark a way back out, but to let others know others have passed through, that it’s safe to proceed with hope.

The path is dark because the feelings that guide there are at times difficult. The thoughts that try to do commentary for them are ‘egoically torturous’

There isn’t a darker place ive walked through than hatred for myself. Hatred for all the wrongs I’ve done to myself.  There isn’t a greater light outside belief in god that I’ve felt, other than unconditional love and acceptance for and of myself.

This type of acceptance and love can not fully be experienced without self forgiveness, forgiveness for all that you’ve contributed, to the abandonment of yourself. Understanding of the antecedents that played a role in how you even managed to do such a thing to yourself.

Do not fixate on causation, it’s complicated to allocate blame to one specific thing. Even if you insist on self blame the complication persists, that is because every decision has an antecedent.

And every antecedent has a trajectory, every trajectory an explanation and understanding is a gift Allah will cultivate in you if you are receptive.

True Forgiveness is to acknowledge this rationalisation not as an excuse, but rather as the sound reason it is.

When your being communicates hurt to you, the worst you can do is to increase that momentum with further hurt. How does one do that? Firstly by invalidating the need for healing that its calling to. Secondly by running away from vulnerability.

Self forgiveness is to set yourself free from all past choices stemming from past blind spots, put in place by past core patterns that originated from a past wound. The events have passed and the lessons grasped so let go and forgive yourself.

The last person left to forgive was myself

The pre requisite for true forgiveness is to embrace your anger and allow it to make the boundaries you’ve lived without.

I smile because I deserve to, I sleep with ease because, clear conscience.

I build anew from an authentic place and leave to Allah to take care of the parts of me, that are held in the memories of the places I’ve left behind.

A sagacious choice, if I do say so maself.

 

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