Truth feels light even if its point isnt pleasant I.e something that goes against you or a position you found comfort in. Truth isn’t heavy nor does it cause fatigue. What’s heavy and exhausting is ego narratives masquerading as truth. Whats heavy and exhausting is ego blocks that pull ones strings to resist truth.
Heaviness is a sign of absence of truth or contamination of it. What’s true feels light & the heart works in tandem with it. For me it compresses and tightens my chest as a way to communicate rejection of something and it releases its grip making way for inner peace to enter as an indication that all is now well. I.e I’ve adjusted a flaw. I call this process system error.
I find that the feeling of something being amiss communicates to me a truth is missing from an equation. Likewise my hearts compression and release activity, indicates my state of being in a moment accurately. I’m I one with the truth or have I prematurely received it? Is there more on this matter? If truth was 8 marbles did I pick up 10 or 7? 10 being symbolic for adding to the truth what’s not from it & 7, missing it by an inch yet not realise it. The compressions and release in my heart provide the answer.
My heart knows before my mind.
“I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.” ~Charles Cooley
The greatest gift you can give yourself is to take back your power of definition. The perception you have of yourself relies heavily on how you define things. How are you defining things? Is it based on a system of unconditional self love that houses your own values. Or a system of doubt that houses that of others?
If you have in any way let the opinions, truths, values and expectations of others guide or worse manage your reality. You need to take back your power of definition. Relinquishing that unconsciously is the root of the problem. A problem that can take years or even the good part of a life time for some to discover.
Your reality doesn’t hinge on things outside of you, if your heart doesn’t absorb something, it doesn’t. You can’t force it and you shouldn’t want to. Let the chips fall how it may, any cognitive dissonance that arises is Allah teaching you self trust. Your heart is your northern star not someone else’s listen to your own. Trust your own truth of who you are. Are you someone who has no agenda with truth? Are you someone who doesn’t lie to themselves and is open to growth however difficult? If yes then trust your heart and what it absorbs and doesn’t absorb .
Power of definition rests on trusting your hearts resonation. Especially when something is amiss, trust it even if it causes you turmoil. Clarity comes at dawn. leave the details behind implications of doing that, alone. The devil is in the detail for a reason, to get entangled in making sense of things, is how you lose your way to begin with.
We each have a system inside us that is sufficient to individually govern us. It’s unlocked by a key of self trust. A key you can’t access without unconditional self love.
Instead of scanning for an error in yourself as you are accustomed to. Trust your heart when it lovingly throws a middle finger up i.e when it stands firm against all odds. When it contradicts what you once held close. Firmness that doesn’t separate you from love is steadfastness.
Power of definition remains intact and whole when you let your heart define what is. Take off the lens that diverts you from stepping into your power of definition. It’s the mother of illusions. It Keeps one stuck in what was, as they miss what is. What is, is not threatened by what was. Not unless you are intolerant of the ebbs and flows of life.
When something disturbs you, you can either tense up against it or you can soften towards it.
To soften is to flow with, to tense up is to resist. I find when I soften I feel a warm wave descend over me, it feels like being carried by a warm sea. It feels like hunger met with a home cooked meal. It takes me to a shore of self compassion that leads to inner peace.
When ever I tensed up it felt like I was squeezing through a narrow lane. That suddenly got narrower the further I walked in. It was crushing and felt like oxygen was slipping away. It left me feeling abandoned and in a state of dejection not sometimes but always. I felt shame instead of compassion for myself. I found myself lost and a long way away from home.
Two ways, two different outcomes. I choose to soften now because I’ve experimented enough to know the results. Choose to soften towards emotions that sting, you will find love in the feelings that come after it not suffering. You will find Divine love that heals and restores. You will find divine love that teleports you home.
To your soul…
Crying for me was a pivot point I didn’t like to reach. Now it’s a point of rest, where when I arrive I do not flee.
When I cry, on that Hollywood hill sign I see in my mind, I see the word “healing”
When I cry I feel replenished, I feel parts of myself that I felt bad for abandoning. I release tension and grief.
That is because tears remove blocks of resistance. Through letting them flow in my private space I receive clarity and ease because when I’m in a state of self acceptance and love like that. I’m aware that I am in a state of surrender and hope. I know Allah who sees my tears counts them and wipes them away.
Looking back my hidden tears kept me alive because his divine mercy was the only refuge I truly allowed my heart to have.
Allowing yourself to cry isn’t a sign of defeat it’s a sign of strength. It’s refusal to be overwhelmed or to be over come. It’s celebration that didn’t happen…I’ve never cried for anything except to make space for a strain on my heart or gratitude I felt in it.
Drop tears when you need to, as it drops ease that heal and comfort you. Never regret a moment when you surrendered to your hearts will to breathe, because that is what crying truly is. Breathing, choosing to be free, breathing, appreciating that you are. Breathing and just being..
Get out of your own way every day, bathe in your own love in every way. Use your hope in the big things to nourish & maintain your hope in the little things. Seek not to fix yourself but to get to know yourself. All that you will ever need is already inside of yourself. So let go and let live as you dance to the rhythm of your own heart. It’s path is tailor made for all that you are. It’s will is your northern star.