Unconditional Self love is what protects and preserves us. It’s the weapon we use to determine what serves or doesn’t serve us. It’s the light through which we see what supports or doesn’t support us. It’s the foundation from which we create and enforce the boundaries that ensure our wellbeing remains replenished and intact. It’s what draws a definitive line for where we end and others begin.
Without self love present, showing up vulnerable can harm one through a back door.
A back door where issues creep in that ones unconditional self love would have helped navigate.
In the absence of unconditional self love you aren’t able to remain connected to matters where your vulnerability makes an appearance in a way that safeguards your vulnerability therefore wellbeing.
You aren’t connected because you are not present or grounded in your centre, and that’s important for someone like me, where this presence was maintained from a mind space not heart.
You live with observations of your feelings filtered through a skeptical mind in regards to what it all means. Through the absence of self love you aren’t able to do anything wholesome about the misalignments you feel that tug at your vulnerability.
The struggles that ensue are invalidated as a result by you. You double down on your heart and feel safe only when you lock it away and enter your mind for guidance.
And for a while guide well in its own way it did.
Vulnerability without unconditional self love is what causes one harm, not vulnerability in and of itself.
Being detached from my vulnerability in the absence of unconditional self love, was divine will protecting me.
I had this epiphany that rang true for me when I wondered how my life would have been had I had a head start in navigating through life guided by my feelings.
How would it have been if I had embodied my vulnerability sooner, and been able to make wholesome choices from a concious place.
I don’t wonder about that any more, because I know the past me did the best she could with the risq she had access to.
The very thought of allowing my vulnerability to be accessed whilst detached from unconditional self love is scary.
And it’s realisations like this that make me see, that Allah is the best of planners. Through his plan then I was protected without my knowledge, and again now anew.
In every moment we exist we have all we need. My heart was preserved then and set free now to align with Allah’s will to meet and fulfil my destiny.