What is required for many of us, paradoxical though it may sound, is the courage to tolerate happiness without self-sabotage.”
— Nathaniel Branden
The old age English idiom of “There is an elephant in the room” means a clear problem that exists, isn’t being acknowledged. This idiom works best when there is an actual fact based issue in dire need of acknowledging and addressing.
But what about an issue that is merely perceived or presumed by an individual? Surely that issue is an elephant in the persons mind, real enough to affect their belief in a matter….(if something affects you it matters full stop.)
What happens when the elephant in the mind, gets dropped in the metaphorical room that represents the interaction space between you and another?
Well firstly when you put a mind elephant in a room the other person feels it. The elephant can be anything occupying space in your head, from pre conceived notions that worry you, to your doubts, skepticism and to fear of (insert anything you hope isn’t a reality with present company)
As energetic beings the unseen elephant (you ain’t expressed issue, so it’s an elephant until you do) can be felt even if not understood. The extent to which it is felt, depends on the extent of its hold on your psyche and heart.
And in its being felt….. quite often than not a shift occurs with the other person. The kind of shift that has the power to create awkwardness at its worst and a state of ambiguity at the least.
So what gives….Other than the size of the elephant in the room growing for you?.
And what’s real….other than the reality that the truth, isn’t in the confirmation of the growth of the elephant.
But rather in the perspective that cause and effect, naturally took the place of expression and exchange.
These mind elephants tend to exist most in people who fear showing their vulnerability.
They become pre occupied with the discomfort of their vulnerability being exposed. Onlg for it to be faced with denial if they were to address said elephant matter.
To be vulnerable is not about sharing from a place of expectation, but rather from a place of truth, your truth, in a composed yet firm manner. Vulnerability is pure strength.
Because ~ “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen” ~ Brene Brown.
Showing up with your truth and stepping out by aligning with your values once YOUR truth is stated. Is a crucial aspect of being emotionally agile. To ‘step out’ in keeping with the theme of main post point means to take a step back and be willing to receive. Knowing that you are not responsible for another persons actions. To step out allows you the space to activate your values as a guide for how you will proceed next.
So if the mind elephant was real and it was denied, trust your intuition and the way your body feels in that moment. Under no circumstances should you by-pass because there is no supporting evidence. Under no circumstances should you park your intuition until you are able to qualify it intellectually on a later date.
Ignoring a mind elephant that has rented room in your head is to rob yourself from the opportunity of establishing a truth.
You can’t change what others do, so there is no point dwelling on it. But you can change what they know, so don’t procrastinate on stating your truth. Validate your needs by meeting them first yourself.